To create a fuss about my son not having access to water today in school

[Icantfeelmyface]

Hello .
My 8 year old son is a bit of a fidgeter, and has difficulty with keeping still . He has a replacement teacher for the past 6 weeks and he has struggled with various issues relating to her " shouting at him all the time " and him feeling picked on everyday no matter what he does .. won't get into the detail but meeting was held and she reassured me that this wasn't the case and she works on praise as well .. .. he told me after the meeting the teacher said in front of the class " why you telling your mum that I'm picking on you "?... Decided to leave things and move on... However today he comes home from school and tells me he had no water the whole day as the teacher said he was fidgeting too much with his bottle and told him to put it away from the table . All the other kids had their bottles on their table . He has said he had a few sips at lunch time and then nothing until after school club at 4 pm 😳
Am I being unreasonable to email the head teacher ?

I’m a teacher and we’ve had this all week with parents fussing about access to water, it’s driving me a bit nuts. Having said that, this supply is making your child v anxious and go with your instincts and don’t feel bad about raising it with SLT. If it’s any reassurance in my experience children moan a lot to their parents (mine included) but cope very well in school.

She also said that her son said his teacher shouted at him all the time, let the other children have water bottles. And she publicy announced that the child had raised how he felt to his mother. Yes let's just ignore this child he's obviously very manipulative ffs.

I am concerned about the teachers remarks to your son in class. My youngest was always in his words “picked on” too. He was later diagnosed with autism and part of my journey was asking for a SARs report. It was a shock to read what staff had said and it was obvious my son had been telling the truth. If parents don’t believe their children who will, it is a slippery slope to condoning abuse even if considered low level. As for his fidgeting does he have any strategies to help him, fidget toy in pocket or a wrist band to flick. I would be asking for another word regarding her comment in class rather than the water bottle as the teacher has clearly not taken on board comments from the last meeting.

I work with younger kids, age 3 to 5 and a few months ago a little boy (4) told his Mum that I got cross with him so I locked him by himself into a dark room. Thankfully mother knew what he was like and at collection time she said 'oh I heard you locked him in a dark room etc' within ear shot of the child, 'maybe you could do it again tomorrow if he tells lies' and i said thats fine i have a dark room we use especially for little boys who tell lies. Poor kid's jaw dropped and he never told lies again. We laughed about it but it gave me a fright too, another parent could have been horrified and I could have been investigated.

My point was kids do tell lies and exaggerate to suit their narrative. So who knows really what happened here

No I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I think an email to the head might be a bit far though. The link below is Scotland but should be applicable to England too.

www.cypcs.org.uk/faq/what-should-i-do-if-my-school-isnt-giving-me-access-to-fresh-water/

Children are meant to have access to water throughout the day. Where I work all children's water bottles stay in a tray by the sink but can ask for a drink any time. Only time we discourage it is carpet/learning time. They don't have them at the table incase of spillages. Again they ask to go and get a drink.

(My son is also 8 yrs old and a real fidget too, can't keep still for more than a few minutes.)

I died of dehydration once at school but the teacher put a wet paper towel on it and I was fine

YANBU. It is very humid and warm. There are alerts up and down the country. So hydration is key and I'm stunned that people think this is ok.

Do not accept this. I would calmly but clearly explain that calling your DS out in front of his class and further more removing his water bottle is completely unwarranted and unacceptable. Advocate for your DS and do not let anyone make you feel bad for doing this.

So do adults.

Yes you are being unreasonable to email the head teacher.

Typically, this is how a day pans out...

Arrive at school around 8.50. By around 10.30, they have a break. By 12.30, it's lunchtime for approx 1 hour. They finish around 3.30. So never more than a couple of hours between toilet/food/drink.

Here's how the day actually pans out....

Miss, I need a drink, Miss I need the toilet...Cue half a dozen other children now decide they need the toilet or a drink.

Breaktime...Children are reminded to go to the toilet, grab their snack and drink and then go outside. Break times is over, I guarantee at least 2 or 3 children need the toilet because they 'forgot' to go at breaktime.

Lesson starts. Miss can I have a drink? 3 or 4 other children now decide they want a drink. They have a sip then stand and chat and have to be told to sit down.

Lunchtime, same. They eat, they drink, they 'may' go to the toilet, they go outside. Afternoon lessons start and the same thing happens. Miss, I need a drink. Miss, I need the toilet.

Behaviour is another issue. Teacher says 'If you're going to sit and play with your bottle, then put it on the side.' Child says to mom 'She wouldn't let me have a drink.' They're hardly going to say 'I was being a pain in the ass, clunking my bottle on the table, suckling, whatever so my teacher said I couldn't have my bottle on the table.' They won't admit to being naughty.

Children play up then go home and say 'My teacher shouted at me today.' Mom complains. Teacher asks 'Why did you tell your mom that this happened? That's not true.' It's not unreasonable to challenge a child about going home and telling lies about what really happened. If the teacher isn't going to correct them, and the parent isn't going to correct them, then who is?

Children have a loose relationship with the truth. It's a fact. They either blatantly lie, or they interpret things in a different way. But they are not always truthful or factual. Especially if they think a) Mom will protect them regardless or b) they're going to be told off.

Don't complain. There's more to this. Saying your child is fidgety isnt a reasonable excuse. The other 29 children in the class are equally important and deserve their education.

But he DID have access. He chose to (a) mess around with his bottle rather than getting on with his work, to the point that it was a distraction to others and (b) eschewed the opportunity to drink more than 'a few sips' when water was freely available at lunchtime. Rather than 'creating a fuss', why not have a conversation with your child about reasonable behaviour? Thought not...

Since its a proven fact that dehydration hinders learning:
corp.publicschoolworks.com/resource/how-does-student-hydration-affect-academic-performance/#:~:text=The%20Link%20between%20Hydration%20and,”%20according%20to%20Harvard.edu.

If water was that important to him!! 😂

No one died of dehydration when we were young but we now have a generation with kidney disease and bladder disorders due to dehydration.

Back in the day we didn't have water bottles on our desks, just had drinks at break and lunch time. If he was thirsty he would've drunk more and the bottle was taken away because he was messing about with it.

If you have a drink before school, during breaks at school, then the whole rest of the afternoon and evening, no risk of dehydration really?

So true! Being a teacher of a class of 30 kids wanting water, loo, the dramas of friendships, needing attention for whatever reason, while trying to teach to the hight standard expected is a daily battle! X

Do we? I don’t know a single person with either, and never heard mention of it either.

Hate to tell you this but as an adult working at a nurse, I have a tea before I head to work. My first break is 2-4 hours into my shift. Then I have tea and water. The last four hours it's anyone guess at to whether I get second break and if I'm lucky I can grab a 4 oz paper of cup of water in the drugs locker. I next have a drink on the way home.

Nobody is running to management complaining that the nurse isn't getting to drink whenever.

Believe me classrooms are hot places, especially after lunch. If the teaching staff and other children have access to their water then so should every child, no exceptions. You might keep their bottle on your desk so they have to come up for a drink but you shouldn’t deny it outright like this. Especially in these temperatures!

How is this even remotely comparable?

That's exactly what happened though, he just wasn't allowed it at his desk.

Urine infections ((UTI)
kidney stones
inflammation of bladder
Bladder stones
Kidney failure- multiple causes but dehydration increased risk.
Incontinence.

@SendBooksAndTea how do you know that?

That's a completely different scenario.

Because that's what it says.