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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should skirt length matter in secondary schools?

463 replies

Holdonforsummer · 19/06/2025 19:10

My daughter is 15 and in Year 10, she attends an all-girls comprehensive secondary school and they are obsessed with the girls’ skirt length. The skirt is like a tartan kilt and is supposed to be ‘on the knee’ but most of the girls roll their skirts to make them a bit shorter (think mid-thigh). I’m a bit on the fence about this but her school go on and on and on about it. They stop girls all the time, give detentions for short skirts, have assemblies about it, and have even been known to measure skirts and give girls long ones from the list property cupboard to wear instead. Yesterday, my daughter had just finished 5 hours of mock exams in 28 degrees and was walking home - outside school property - and was stopped by a teacher threatening detention even though she had left school. She came home furious and fed up of the whole thing. I can’t decide whether the girls just need to toe the line or whether behaviour from the school is bordering on a sexist, misogynistic obsession. YABU: the pupils need to obey the skirt rules, YANBU: The school should calm down and stop obsessing about skirt length.

OP posts:
raffegiraffe · 20/06/2025 16:25

To answer the Aibu..
No, it shouldn't matter it all. It's the fault of the patriarchy and it focuses too much on girls as sexual objects who need to cover up. Bonkers. I support my daughter to wear her skirt however she wants

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:26

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:20

They really, really do!

What can be said? "Why aren't you showing off your knickers like us?"

Paganpentacle · 20/06/2025 16:29

yomellamoHelly · 19/06/2025 19:34

They roll them up where in the school I'm in. Have learnt not to look up as you go up stairs. There's nothing left to the imagination. Boys are equally embarrassed.
Then in the morning you see girls rolling them up as they leave home (live in the same area as lots of school kids), and I often see the girl next door unrolling her skirt a bit before she walks through her front door at the end of the day.
So i imagine parents just don't know how short their daughters actually wear them.

Of course the parents know... they probably did the same.,
I'm 55... we all rolled our skirts up then, they'll still be rolling them up in 50 years time.

saraclara · 20/06/2025 16:30

raffegiraffe · 20/06/2025 16:25

To answer the Aibu..
No, it shouldn't matter it all. It's the fault of the patriarchy and it focuses too much on girls as sexual objects who need to cover up. Bonkers. I support my daughter to wear her skirt however she wants

They're not being asked to "cover up". They're being prevented from showing their bum cheeks and the gussets of their pants.

They are overtly sending a sexual signal, and school is no place for that.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:31

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:26

What can be said? "Why aren't you showing off your knickers like us?"

They call them names, laugh at them. We've had sanctions for eyebrow bullying and eyelash bullying (some girls don't get either done). So yes, they're very judgemental on others' appearance.

LittleMG · 20/06/2025 16:32

If you can wear it to a smart office you should be ok for school. Girls need to know that there are certain standards in life if you want to be respected. Outside school do whatever you like, inside school rules apply.

Bluevelvetsofa · 20/06/2025 16:33

It seems that the girls round her avoid showing their underwear by wearing thick black tights with their micro skirts. They must feel quite uncomfortable in this hot weather.

Ddakji · 20/06/2025 16:36

raffegiraffe · 20/06/2025 16:25

To answer the Aibu..
No, it shouldn't matter it all. It's the fault of the patriarchy and it focuses too much on girls as sexual objects who need to cover up. Bonkers. I support my daughter to wear her skirt however she wants

See, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric that’s so unhelpful. Yes, feminism is about liberation from the patriarchy, but in no way is a girl wearing her school skirt as a belt liberating - but too many like to tell girls this.

shortsharp · 20/06/2025 16:36

I attended 10am mass this morning at my local Catholic Church. As I was getting out the car one of the pupils in the adjacent Catholic secondary school was walking past with a kilt on that was so short her black pants were on display.

i also went to the same school many moons ago and you wouldn’t have dared show up dressed like that because you’d have been sent home and rightly so.

maddening · 20/06/2025 16:36

YorkshireGoldie · 19/06/2025 23:58

I’ve seriously never seen arse cheeks on the school run. Short skirts yes, glad I’m not looking hard enough to notice buttocks flesh

They are short enough that any slight bend eg.to pick up your bag or pen would definitely show arse. And that if.you were unfortunate enough to be walking up the stairs behind them then you would also be shown arse.

If boys were flashing their arses then there would be outrage.

maddening · 20/06/2025 16:37

LittleMG · 20/06/2025 16:32

If you can wear it to a smart office you should be ok for school. Girls need to know that there are certain standards in life if you want to be respected. Outside school do whatever you like, inside school rules apply.

No one in my office wears skirts that short

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:38

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:31

They call them names, laugh at them. We've had sanctions for eyebrow bullying and eyelash bullying (some girls don't get either done). So yes, they're very judgemental on others' appearance.

What an awful school. Is anything being done to help the girls with their self image and self worth?

largeprintagathachristie · 20/06/2025 16:40

My school skirt was ahem, fairly short, but there’s many I’m seeing around at the moment that are absolutely MICRO.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:40

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:38

What an awful school. Is anything being done to help the girls with their self image and self worth?

It's not an awful school. We got a really good Ofsted and the results are great. However
.There is a prevalent culture among some girls who have plenty of money for personal grooming and parents who allow the mini tube skirts. Yes, a lot of work is being done, but we do not have many parents on side.

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:41

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:31

They call them names, laugh at them. We've had sanctions for eyebrow bullying and eyelash bullying (some girls don't get either done). So yes, they're very judgemental on others' appearance.

I feel I was too dismissive. This hasn't happened to my DC though. I assume they'd say something about "nun" or "frigid". Teachers should tackle the bullying and girls should stand their ground for confirming to school regulation.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:42

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:41

I feel I was too dismissive. This hasn't happened to my DC though. I assume they'd say something about "nun" or "frigid". Teachers should tackle the bullying and girls should stand their ground for confirming to school regulation.

We do tackle it. We work hard on this, but not every parent is supportive.

Wdfssda · 20/06/2025 16:42

LittleMG · 20/06/2025 16:32

If you can wear it to a smart office you should be ok for school. Girls need to know that there are certain standards in life if you want to be respected. Outside school do whatever you like, inside school rules apply.

Exactly. At DS's school boys would get wedgied if their boxers were sticking out.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:42

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:40

It's not an awful school. We got a really good Ofsted and the results are great. However
.There is a prevalent culture among some girls who have plenty of money for personal grooming and parents who allow the mini tube skirts. Yes, a lot of work is being done, but we do not have many parents on side.

Grades aren't everything are they? It's clearly an awful environment for the girls outside that clique.

Toooldtopretend · 20/06/2025 16:43

The girls wear trousers at my kids school. I have to say that they look much smarter than the rolled up skirts I see from other schools.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:44

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:42

Grades aren't everything are they? It's clearly an awful environment for the girls outside that clique.

We know this. We are working hard on it. However, there are parents who pamper their daughters and will tolerate no criticism and think teachers are picking on them. It is a challenge, we are trying various strategies.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:45

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:44

We know this. We are working hard on it. However, there are parents who pamper their daughters and will tolerate no criticism and think teachers are picking on them. It is a challenge, we are trying various strategies.

Okay. Maybe don't get defensive then.

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:47

Clearly, many, many parents are happy to buy very short skirts for their daughters and even the micro tube skirts. We are battling parents who will defend this, and other issues.
I'd get rid of uniform altogether if it was up to me, but then again 6th form girls come in boob tubes and micro shorts, so......

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:48

Ok. @ArtTheClownIsNotAMime , Maybe don't say obvious things about "grades aren't everything".
We know this.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/06/2025 16:51

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:48

Ok. @ArtTheClownIsNotAMime , Maybe don't say obvious things about "grades aren't everything".
We know this.

Edited

Um, you brought them up as a defence of your awful school.

Ddakji · 20/06/2025 16:52

LochKatrine · 20/06/2025 16:48

Ok. @ArtTheClownIsNotAMime , Maybe don't say obvious things about "grades aren't everything".
We know this.

Edited

I don’t think you’ve been defensive at all and it sounds like a total pain in the arse situation that’s detracting from what you’re there to do - teach. Those parents sound awful. Though I think this must be a geographic/demographic/cultural thing as round here sixth formers are in baggy jeans most of the time.

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