To think more people have a deluded sense of self?

[SharpJadeGoose]

I recently heard someone refer to himself as a “free thinker” and it took me by surprise because he is anything but. It got me wondering how many people have a completely skewed perception of themselves, whether it’s thinking they’re more open-minded, intelligent, or self-aware than they really are. AIBU to think that a lot of people are living in self-delusion?

You are correct and social media is a massive reason for it imo

Oh yes, my boss. It fascinates the whole team. Her view of herself is nowhere near what the rest of the world sees.

Social media, giving people the idea that their opinion matters more than anyone else,
and the modern refusal to accept that others will have a different opinion.

Also giving in everytime a terminally offended pipes in. "How dare you xyz-shame me!". No Jackie, you and I just happen to disagree. It's not all about you.

I have a friend who prides herself on being positive . . . except her main topic of conversation is her difficult child, how he doesn’t sleep, problems with his behaviour etc. but she usually rounds off a lengthy discussion with “but I’m sure it will be fine” and thus manages to convince herself she’s a ray of sunshine

I know a few arrogant men who have egotistical notions about themselves. They think everyone admires their intelligence , looks , wit etc. But they are in cuckoo land and people view them as extremely unapproachable and rude.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect

Of course you’re not unreasonable, OP. You’re the only person in the world who sees people for who they really are.

One of my SILs like to talk about how spiritual she is. In reality she is the most materialistic person I have ever met.

She also shared those AI generated messages on social media that were utter nonsense and were actually part of an experiment to see how many people would share them and what it said about their intelligence. I thought she had a brain tumour and was actually really worried about her. My DH, who's her brother, said that "it was just her being an idiot again".

My ex called himself an empath and apparently felt things on a spiritual level.

Called me a narcissist because I wasn't the same.

What he meant was he would make everyone elses situation about him and how he felt.

I was quite happy not to be the same as him.

I totally agree, and I've read/heard professional psychologist say the same.

There's a lot of amateur diagnosis of narcissism these days - it seems to be the blanket term for unpleasant people. I've heard pschologists say that SM feeds narcissistic tendencies - people many not be fully signed-up narcissists but the superficial obsession with image and appearance which we see on SM certainly produces aspects of this condition.

One of my siblings thinks people are in awe of them. They have said this out loud in all seriousness. (Nobody is actually in awe of them).

My DM described herself as a “very tolerant person” the other day and I had to restrain myself from snorting derisively with every ounce of my being. She never stops moaning about other people!

I find most people who jump up and down labelling themselves positive things are often the complete opposite too. An example of this is a relative of mine - she tells anyone who will listen how caring she is and how she can’t tell a lie - she is the biggest liar I know and also gossips about everyone, especially if they are having a difficult time!

That's really interesting. I find that the people on SM who are like you describe are completely vapid and self obsessed. Also severely fake. Which I guess is definitely narcissist like

I really worry that I’m like this. In particular that I’m not as bright as I think I am, and everyone notices it.

Absolutely this. The more strongly someone labels themselves, the more inaccurate the label is, in my experience

But do you tell everyone you think you are bright?
I think we have probably all got our own little delusions inside our heads - the problem comes with the people who keep announcing that they have these positive traits that are actually the polar opposite of who they are!

I think in the same way that ‘Kevin the teenager’ sketch showed him turning into a nightmare on the stroke of midnight on his 13th birthday, the same thing happens to men when they turn 50. They suddenly become insufferable pompous bores.

No sense of humour or self awareness… Just monologuing their lofty opinions on us lesser mortals (women) for hours. I’ve always seen it as a challenge to bring them down a peg or two but it’s impossible to get a word in! They go on and on….and on… and on…

I think if you’re worried about it, you’re probably ok. It’s usually people who are entirely certain of their various labels who are completely the opposite.

Get your boss to do Jo-hari’s window !!

All men over 50? Really?

It existed way before social media

My sister amusingly thinks she's stunning but god love her, she's really pretty ordinary. We look almost the same, very standard.

We went to a wedding recently and she spent forever trying to find an outfit to 'downplay her looks' as she didn't want to upstage the bride 🙈.

On a night out she literally looks like she's basking in all the admiration from everyone around her but no ones looking. I love her to bits but it's pretty crazy what she thinks she sees in the mirror!

No but I worry I act in a pretentious way 😂

Maybe I did say it to my exh when I was married to him…

Also, I had an ex boyfriend who had very inconsistent beliefs about two quite similar conflict situations in the world - and I could never respect his intelligence after that! But maybe it’s me who is thick? Just that he thought one was “oh just knock their heads together, why are they fighting over this?” whilst he had a really strongly held conviction about the other one…

Oh but maybe you are stunning too and you just don’t know? That would be sadder in a way!

In seriousness, I used to work with someone like this. She was absolutely fine looking but very clearly believed she was stunning.