Cousin’s kids called nieces and nephews.

[ThatRubyMoose]

Over the last few years has anybody noticed this trend for calling your cousins’ kids nieces and nephews?

A further question can anybody tell me why I get irrationally angry about it?

There also seems to be a move away from calling your siblings’ partners aunt and uncle.

Do I live in a weird microcosm or have other people noticed this?

it really ticks me off.

AAAHHHH! That’s really interesting. And quite funny, as actual poshos recognise cousins etc to a quite mad degree. So I suspect the people who have issues with this are a bit Hyacinth ‘Bouquet’. 🤣

I suppose posh people do have a lot of family tree knowledge, the pedigree being important, but this is not really about being snobby about calling a distant cousin a cousin, but about calling family friends aunt or uncle. It must be considered common for some, although I have no idea why.
There's a thread now about someone who looks down on people calling a gm 'nan'.

My neighbour was called "Auntie" so were a few of my Grandma's friends. Calling them by their name felt rude but they said it made them feel old being called "Mrs ...." So it was a nice compromise.

I do this.
I prefer to call them my nieces and nephews, rather than my 'first cousins once removed'
It reflects my feelings towards them and its much easier to say.

We refer to a cousin‘s kids as niece and nephew. It encapsulates the closeness of the relationship. We don’t do that for cousins we’re not close to.

I‘d forgotten about Aunty being an honorific! In the eighties we called the playgroup leaders Aunty. At the same time, anyone over about 50 was referred to by title and surname.

Weird. Never come across this.
I just call all my cousins kids my cousins. Because that's what they are. They call me by my first name. I may be 35 years older than them but if they called me Auntie that would be a definite no! We hate titles in our family. We called all our Aunts & Uncles by their forenames.

In my culture we call our cousin's children nieces/ nephews and they refer to us as aunt/uncle. It also commands distance, establishes respect & responsibilities between the older and younger generations.

the family are AH for making fun. My ex stepdad who has now divorced my mum was one of many. His family were called Nan and grandad and aunt/uncle by any kids. It was easier.

I use cousins to mean anyone in my extended family of the same generation. Aunties/uncles for anyone of my mums generation.

My friends are auntie and uncle to my children.

Normal shorthand and always has been?

Well it’s common outside of white families…..

This!

It's common in families of south asian heritage

And white families too. And all sorts of families too.

My cousins are the nearest thing I have to siblings so their kids callm me auntie.

My mum's friend is one of my favourite people in the world, a great source of support and never forgets my birthday unlike some of my actual family .

I call her aunty X and have done so for years but I'll tell her now that it must stop immediately as the OP disapproves. Even though it impacts her life in no way whatsoever.

They’re your second cousins!

No they aren't. Your cousins children are your first cousins once removed.

No they aren’t. My brother’s kids and my cousin’s kids are second cousins - common ancestors are two generations past their parents (great grandparents).

My cousin’s kids and I are first cousins once removed - our common ancestors (my grandparents and their great grandparents) are one generation past my parents and two generations past their parents. So, first cousins (based on my distance) and once removed because our relationship to them said ancestors differs by one generation).

I would lump them in with cousins and just say that, and if questioned further I'd say 'they're my cousins children '

When my dc were born I referred to a mum friend as 'aunty jane' but realised that sounded ridiculous and stopped it.

I haven't noticed this particular trend,but something I HAVE noticed is the preference of people from different cultures to call everyone their cousin, even when they are not remotely related. An ex of mine ,who was from an African country,did this a lot. The first time I questioned which side of the family a cousin was from,his mum's or dad's,he said neither,he's the son of a family friend.

As someone from an African background, I’ve always found the questioning (some) British people do around this sort of thing so odd. No African or Asian (of any nationality or creed) has ever asked me ‘how are you guys related?’ We just accept whatever description we’re given (cousin, aunt, whatever) and carry on. If clarification ever becomes necessary (which is almost never the case) it will be provided.

British people: ‘How are you related? What side? Well, actually, I think you’ll find he’s actually your second cousin, once removed’ or ‘so you’re not even related at all (said in highly scandalised tones)?!’

Just…why?! What is your deal? 😂

Not the aunt and uncle one. My mums sister and her ex have been separated years and we still call him Uncle. My nieces and nephew refer to my husband as uncle. I suspect it might be even more common where one of the couple is an only child, so doesn’t have biological nieces and nephews. I have a few friends like that who very much see their spouses nieces and nephews as their own.
I agree that the cousin one is a thing but it doesn’t bother me. In fact, I quite like it. It’s better than, what, second cousin or cousin once removed or whatever the correct term is? My older cousin has a 13 year old daughter and she feels more like a niece to me than a second cousin.
My daughter and my aunts son (so my cousin) never know how to refer to each other! Again, technically I think they are second cousins. But my daughter is 10 and he is 27 so she’d rather refer to him as uncle I think even though he obviously isn’t!

Class system is very strong in the UK despite its democratic facade.

When I was a kid, I genuinely thought white people didn’t have cousins because they never spoke about them. It’s only when I got into adulthood that I realised that it’s more likely because they only refer to their first, direct cousins as “cousins” and not every child close to their own age that their parents happened to know, therefore they spent far less time with “cousins” than I did!