Cousin’s kids called nieces and nephews.

[ThatRubyMoose]

Over the last few years has anybody noticed this trend for calling your cousins’ kids nieces and nephews?

A further question can anybody tell me why I get irrationally angry about it?

There also seems to be a move away from calling your siblings’ partners aunt and uncle.

Do I live in a weird microcosm or have other people noticed this?

it really ticks me off.

I've always done this. But I am an only child and when my cousins started having kids I was called auntie, I love it, and my daughter has aunties and uncles that she wouldn't actually have

My cousins daughter and I always have a jokey conversation about what we are in relation to each other... like are we second cousins? cousins once removed.
Am I her aunty.
who knows. who gives a shiny shit.

sorry I'll get my cousin's 4 year old to stop calling me 'Auntie Sea' and ask him to say 'Cousin Once Removed Sea' instead

We just say cousins in our family, whether we are first cousins, 1st once removed or 2nd.
Sometimes the children might call their parents cousins "big cousins".
When DS was small he called my cousins half-sibling (who isn't my cousin) a cousin because it was close enough.

Although when my DS turned 18 my niece thought he'd turned into her uncle. She thought cousins were children and aunts and uncles were adults.

I never heard of it happening until my dc's generation- they are both very close to my cousin and DH's cousin and they call them auntie/uncle. My cousin introduces my DC as her niece and nephew.
It doesn't bother me at all.

Why does it matter? We're all aunty/uncle/cousin/brother because it's too complicated otherwise. Often there's no relation at all. I can't imagine why it would make you angry.

I call my cousins kids my cousins. I think because the kids are actually closer to my age than my actual cousins.

I don't understand why this annoys you.

I don't have any biological nieces or nephews because my only sibling doesn't want children.

I have four on DH's side but three of them we don't get to see because SIL is a psycho.

In my head I have expanded the definition of nieces and nephews to include cousins' children and even the children of our closest friends, because why not?

All my first cousins little children call me auntie, and I also refer to my adult children as auntie and uncle when talking to said little cousins. Just something we like to do, not cultural. Although at a recent family gathering one of the little children asked me if I was really their aunty as they thought I was their mums sister, so we just said that aunty sounded nicer, and she was happy with that, and I got an extra hug. I think it's sweet.

More and more children are only children or don't have cousins in the traditional sense. If they have a cousin-like relationship with the children of their parents' cousins, "cousin" is a good shorthand way to refer to the relationship - a child of your family who is not a sibling.

I don't know why you get irrationally angry about it. I suspect it's because you're one of those people who insists that there is a "right" way to do things that people must not deviate from, rather than living and let living.

It’s not new. Our parents’ cousins we called auntie and uncle, and our cousin’s kids call us the same. It would feel very weird to call either my parent’s cousin’s or cousin’s kids my cousins, although I know they are. It’s just a respect term given through age.

In my defence I did say I was irrational.

I also think it’s very odd that my sister-in-law doesn’t want to be auntie to my daughters and in my husband’s family only biological siblings and cousins are aunt and uncle but their partners aren’t.

My elder daughter isn’t my husband’s she once said to one of the kids to pass something to Grandma that is not her grandma. They all started teasing her with Husband’s brother liking it to calling the teacher Mum. All she meant was pass it to your grandma. It was if it was a massive faux pas yet the cousins are all aunt and uncle.

I do this because it’s way easier than trying to explain the relationship sometimes and I see it as a term of endearment. Otherwise I’d be saying to a 2 year old oh hi I’m your second cousin. I did it with my mum and dad’s close friends as a kid and my friends and I do it with our kids. It’s nice to be an auntie. Then they get older and of course they know I’m not really an auntie but its nice

Come from a massive family, and we just say aunt and uncle because it’s easier.

Does make doing genealogy and family trees a pain though.

DH’s family is similar where our kids call his cousins, Aunt and Uncle because they are adults and their children are around the same age as ours.

I lived in a country where people called their boyfriend/girlfriends' parents and siblings 'in laws' without being married. I literally hated it.

My cousin is an only child and so is her partner so she calls my kids her niece and nephew … in my opinion, if you’re willing to baby sit them regularly then you can be an aunty or an uncle! If you’ll have them overnight you can be a super aunty or uncle! My kids know my brothers and sister and DPs sister are their blood relatives, but I don’t think they care. I don’t care either, my best friends kids call me aunty and mine call her aunty, because that’s the logistical role we play. We may as well be related.

The only reason I see that it matters they know who is a blood relative is if they needed to give family medical history, which they’re too young to do. The more the merrier in the family as far as I’m concerned.

Because it's nicer than using the technically correct terms of "first cousin once removed" or "second cousin". If i did that people would think i was stuck up and pretending to be Queen Victoria or something!

And it depends how interested people are and how well they know you. If I was talking to a colleague I might refer to a "nephew" or "cousin" when telling a story. But a friend who knows me and my family I'd be a bit more descriptive, like "my mum's cousin's kids".

So ... you are right but it's a bit much to actually be annoyed about it.

My DCs know my cousin and her husband are not technically their aunt and uncle but when explaining who they are e.g. because they are the emergency contact for school, they will refer to them as being auntie and uncle. They know their children are their second cousins but refer to them as being cousins. Most of our family isn't local so my DC have always liked claiming a local auntie instead of saying, "my mum's cousin".

In some cultures including mine it's totally normal in fact when people say 2nd cousins which Is there cousins children I get confused as I never realised it wasn't done. As PP said in most cultures we call strangers aunties and uncles as a sign of respect

My family aren’t all British. To my non-British family it would seem strange that we don’t fall them nieces and nephews / they call us aunties or uncles. It’s just a respect thing. Any adult that’s close to the family is an auntie or uncle, let alone actual relatives.

Doesn't really matter. When I was growing up, practically every woman my mum knew was my 'Aunty', none of them related at all.

I don't see my cousins kids often enough for them to really know who I am let alone call the them neice/ nephew, which I know they are not, it goes in that 1st cousin once removed ,2nd cousin etc confusing territory
But I suppose it's better thsn calling any random aunty / uncle like we did in the 70,s

I didn't allow my siblings partners to be called aunt/uncle because in my eyes they are not family. They break up and a "new aunt/uncle" is introduced at some stage. Unless they were married they are not aunt/uncle.
Saying that my brothers girlfriend of 10 yrs will never be called aunt because I don't like her. She is just my brothers girlfriend.
Regarding my cousins kids that what they are referred to "my cousins son/daughter".
I've a friend who was raised by her grandparents all her aunt's/uncles are called her brothers/sisters, her cousins are niece's/nephews and any children related in any way(her cousins children or aunties husbands little brother are cousins) it's mad

My first cousins once removed (eg, the children of my first cousin) call me auntie. They are not exactly spoiled for choice since their mother is an only child and their father has but one sibling.

I am unmarried and my only sibling is dead so I’m not exactly spoiled for choice either. As a child, I called all my parents friends auntie or uncle.

I have no idea why this would make anyone ‘irrationally angry’. Surely you’d have a better idea of this than a bunch of strangers, OP?

That used to be the case in the UK when I was growing up any random neighbour ,friend of my parents etc were auntie pat,uncle john etc.