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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think some teachers are getting away with all sorts with no way of challenging them??

303 replies

RedEyePen · 18/06/2025 17:58

Mainly SLT! So today my ‘high needs’ son who the school tried to off roll had a head bump. On the way back from A and E I bumped into the Head getting her weekly shop in the supermarket. During school time. She didn’t seem stressed at all! Just getting her shopping in. V happy to interrogate my son as to why he wasn’t in school. Head and non teaching SENCO are always in the playground chatting every morning, yet can’t do any of my son’s paperwork without - at worst - an 8 months delay because they are ‘snowed under’.
I also work in a school where planning meetings, courses, computer based admin trumps : actually attending to the children’s needs.
AIBU??

OP posts:
MagdaLenor · 18/06/2025 20:18

ladyvimes · 18/06/2025 20:16

All the SLT I’ve worked with (even the not very good ones) have been incredibly hard working. I would never want to be a headteacher; it’s an extremely difficult and demanding job. Saying that of course there are teachers who are lazy and not good at their job but in my experience they are in the minority.
It sounds like your relationship with the school is near to breaking, OP, and when that happens there is not much that can be done to repair it. Have you considered changing schools?

Same here. Plus it's incredibly difficult to be a lazy teacher because of how many checks there are now , and how much monitoring takes place.

Whippetlovely · 18/06/2025 20:18

RedEyePen · 18/06/2025 19:46

So 8.30 til 9.15 = chatting to SLT chum in playground plus locking up and making the odd sarcastic comment to a late parent. Then 9.30 til 10.30, bit of office ‘stuff’, 10.30 til 11.30 - browse round Sainsbury’s….

Are you standing in the playground for 45minutes stalking the head? How do you know she was talking for that length of time? Nearly all heads greet parents at the gates, they get asked loads of questions by parents and can see who is coming in late. Most of the time it's only 20mins max as the school drop off times are a short period of time. How do you equate that to £250 it's 100 mins max a week? Most primary heads are on max 80k a year. If you hate schools so much you should home school your child. You sound like a nightmare and why most teachers are leaving, entitled, think their kid is the only kid that matters when they have a whole school to sort out and many children with high needs and not enough staff and budget to deal with them. We have kids in our school who should not be there but there are no places in special schools to send them to so the teachers get bitten, kicked and thrown things at every day. Who on earth would want to do that job.

ilovesooty · 18/06/2025 20:19

Surroundedbyfools · 18/06/2025 19:41

You’ll get no sympathy I’m afraid OP. Weirdly Mumsnet is either full of teachers or some kinda teacher bootlicker gathering place. Anyway. I hope your son is ok !

🙄 How surprising.

PlumpAndPlain · 18/06/2025 20:21

I'm a headteacher who will have been spotted in supermarkets at various times for the following reasons:
*picking up things for the school summer fair
*buying food for breakfast and after school club

  • buying treats for a class party *buying ingredients for a technology lesson *occasionally buying my lunch (yes at 11am because I do lunch duty everyday)

I have to do the above myself because we are cashless and I have the school debit card. I often do the above in the evenings and weekends (every Sunday I shop for wraparound food) but sometimes my life gets in the way and I need to use school time to do it. I used to be so paranoid about parents seeing me in school time, but I care less now! My conscience is clear!

ChaiLarious · 18/06/2025 20:21

NewLifter · 18/06/2025 19:56

I am really shocked at so many thinking this is OK. Surely heads need to be available and present on site? I'm a clinical manager in the NHS which would be a similar level of responsibility and I would never just wander off to the shops and leave the unit to it.

Yes I do work in my own time too but that doesn't make it OK to just head off and do what I like during the day.

I find it really worrying that so many find this acceptable!

As others have pointed out, they may have been on their lunch break as primaries do tend to start lunches from 11. If they are on lunch they are allowed to leave the site. They don't get locked in the office and banned from leaving till the end of the day.

speckledf · 18/06/2025 20:23

RedEyePen · 18/06/2025 17:58

Mainly SLT! So today my ‘high needs’ son who the school tried to off roll had a head bump. On the way back from A and E I bumped into the Head getting her weekly shop in the supermarket. During school time. She didn’t seem stressed at all! Just getting her shopping in. V happy to interrogate my son as to why he wasn’t in school. Head and non teaching SENCO are always in the playground chatting every morning, yet can’t do any of my son’s paperwork without - at worst - an 8 months delay because they are ‘snowed under’.
I also work in a school where planning meetings, courses, computer based admin trumps : actually attending to the children’s needs.
AIBU??

I would love to know how you would react if your parenting was judged as harshly as you have judged her professionally.
Most of the teacher bashing threads come from parents who see themselves as perfect and blame schools for all of their problems.

MrsVino · 18/06/2025 20:26

Aah man. In the nicest way. Mind your own business.
Teachers , especially SLT , can’t do right for doing wrong in many parents eyes.
If I saw my head in Tescos , I’d likely give her a hug for taking a well deserved break.
She deserves it for all the shit she has to put up with .

Sarah86lou · 18/06/2025 20:26

@RedEyePen you’re talking rubbish! Don’t make such sweeping statements I see how hard the majority of all staff work in the majority of schools. Stop teacher bashing! I suggest you get a different job as you seem unhappy!

IButtleSir · 18/06/2025 20:27

RedEyePen · 18/06/2025 18:48

TBH I see an Animal Farm mentality in a lot of schools. TA’s do the brunt of the hard work while the Heads are in a shop!

I'm absolutely pissing myself laughing at the idea that TAs do the brunt of the hard work.

(Obligatory disclaimer: There are amazing TAs out there who are worth their weight in gold and deserve their pay to be quadrupled. There are also a lot of entirely useless TAs who manage to do about 20 minutes of actual work a day.)

Also, I'm not sure what you mean by an Animal Farm mentality- do you mean there's a hierarchy? Like in all jobs?

However, no, I don't think it's acceptable for a headteacher to pop out during school hours to do her shopping.

DollyPinkDaydream · 18/06/2025 20:27

This is precisely why I left. You work sixty to seventy odd hour weeks, sacrifice your weekends and have countless sleepless nights worrying about innumerable safeguarding issues, but it still isn’t sufficient for some parents. Usually those who would be in no position to judge.

IButtleSir · 18/06/2025 20:31

ChaiLarious · 18/06/2025 20:21

As others have pointed out, they may have been on their lunch break as primaries do tend to start lunches from 11. If they are on lunch they are allowed to leave the site. They don't get locked in the office and banned from leaving till the end of the day.

Just to put in a primary school teacher's perspective: lunchtimes tend to be when the worst behaviour incidents occur. When something happens, the first port of call for the TAs on lunch duty is to bring the child(ren) concerned to their teacher- no one cares that we are on our lunch break. If the incident is serious enough to merit headteacher involvement, the head really does need to be in the building.

Teaching is one of those jobs where you're not really guaranteed a proper lunch break, and it should be the same for heads as for class teachers.

LincolnshireYellowBelly · 18/06/2025 20:35

What a post to see on teacher appreciation day!!!
I don’t for one minute believe you’ve ever worked in a school, because if you did you would have half a clue on what the workload and pressures are. You’d also not begrudge the head being out in a supermarket. There are many reasons why they could be out, from being out on a course and needing lunch, picking up supplies for school to simply having long days at work.

It’s also a headteachers responsibility to ask why a child is not in school if they see them out and about. It’s called safeguarding. Why wouldn’t you want a professional to safeguard your child?!!

Dweetfidilove · 18/06/2025 20:37

I thought flexibility was a perk for being top of the food chain.
In every school my child has attended, the headteachers work from stupid o'clock to stupid o'clock.

Kitkate21 · 18/06/2025 20:37

As part of an SLT I am expected to give up lunch and break to supervise and support pupils. My day starts at 7am. Rarely home before 630. I don't get a break. Ever. For breakfast and lunch club it falls on me to go and get stuff during the day if I've not had chance at the weekend. I've been out and purchased families a food shop, baby milk, nappies. So it might look like someone else's shop but you've no idea what/who that member of staff is shopping for. If you are so angry about your wage why don't you retrain?

LincolnshireYellowBelly · 18/06/2025 20:38

RedEyePen · 18/06/2025 20:08

@Ihatelittlefriendsusan
I have got a teaching degree, I’ve worked in schools for many years.

I’m not listening to the school, I’m listening to the Local Authority who have no doubt his needs can be met.
Perhaos you should read about OFSTED’s view on schools offrolling?

Local authorities are notorious for making the wrong decision for children as there are not enough specialist places, and not enough money.
They are also known for underfunding schools.
and you trust the LA over the school?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/06/2025 20:41

@RedEyePen -maybe that Headteacher is staying on late at school to do work, and taking more home with them - well outside their paid hours - and there’s nothing wrong with them snatching a few minutes to do their shopping!

Teachers are allowed to have a break during the working day, ^and they are allowed to do whatever they want during that break - reading, eating lunch, shopping, doom-scrolling on FB! You remind me of the nursing manager who told me I couldn’t knit during my (unpaid) meal break in the staff canteen, as a student nurse.

Chinsupmeloves · 18/06/2025 20:42

Teachers can't go out and shop during the day so no this isn't some teachers, it's the head.

Whole different set of rules, guess because they work longer days, I don't know, bit it doesn't set a good example.

IncessantNameChanger · 18/06/2025 20:42

As a governor I'd be interested to see SLT out of school during the day. HT is often the DSL for a start so it would be my duty to make sure the deputy was in and knew the DSL was off site.

As a salaried staff myself I could go shopping at lunch. During core hours? No way. I might be needed and I'm not a manager

Notashamed13 · 18/06/2025 20:44

Not rtft but lunch breaks are allowed. The world doesn't revolve around your child. There are so many other reasons that the head teacher could have been in there.

ilovesooty · 18/06/2025 20:45

You don't know what she was buying or why she was there. You don't know the ins and outs of her working day or when she can take a break either.
You seem as though you have a personal axe to grind and you've come on an anonymous Internet forum to vent, knowing that some of Mumsnet 's regular teacher bashers will back you up.

cryinglaughing · 18/06/2025 20:47

You clearly have problems with the school your child attends.

Maybe or time to pull them out and look for somewhere that reaches your requirements.

MyPearlCrow · 18/06/2025 20:48

Only read first page but seems you are coloured by a) your experience of being a TA and b) your experience with your child and what you see as substandard service.

I know many headteachers and they work 12 - 16 hour days in school plus weekends. They neither get nor take the vast majority of those 14 weeks holiday. It’s a tough, tough gig. One friend worked out her hourly rate over a year and it was close to minimum wage.

teachers get a bashing on Mumsnet because we all have kids and many of us have bad experiences with those kids as they grow up, especially those with SEN. Instead of blaming the messengers (school, teacher, headteacher; another child), try putting the blame where it should be - the politicians making decisions resulting in decades of underfunding, stupidly complex curriculum, rubbish pay rises etc.

dont be that twat who suggests that someone doing no doubt 60-70 hours a week at least, in a thankless role that contributes masses to society, who decides to do her food shop in the odd bit of down time between one meeting with angry parents and another with police/social services/governors/diocese/caterers/MAT CEO/Staff/ed psych/ etc etc etc, is being a slacker. It says way more about you than it does her.

im not a teacher, but I value their work.

meltingtoday · 18/06/2025 20:48

ilovesooty · 18/06/2025 20:45

You don't know what she was buying or why she was there. You don't know the ins and outs of her working day or when she can take a break either.
You seem as though you have a personal axe to grind and you've come on an anonymous Internet forum to vent, knowing that some of Mumsnet 's regular teacher bashers will back you up.

Head teacher bashing, surely?

Vatsallfolks · 18/06/2025 20:48

My sister in law completed an 87 hr week last week.. paid for 40… (that’s taking into account holidays) .. so anyone talking about teacher hours can fuck off.. when it’s worked out it’s below minimum wage .. for people who have degrees and put in the extra hours for OUR children and their education…

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 18/06/2025 20:49

RedEyePen · 18/06/2025 18:46

Hmm. I don’t know why teachers are so ‘protected’ - do they never, ever, ever do questionable things? Other professions potentially skive and shirk. But never teachers….

You’re the one with the problem with teachers clearly! No one is perfect, am sure we all skive from time to time but it’s clear you have an issue with the school!