How am I ever going to get my kid to do homework ??

[srslhw]

I know, a universal challenge..

my DD is 5. Just finishing reception. So far it’s been a light introduction to homework and OMG. It’s so hard to get her to do it. I’m dreading what’s to come.

at the moment she just needs to do some reading and she protests, refuses, tells me it’s boring. It’s an awful experience.

we have a reward jar that I use and she gets stars if she does her reading / writing and when it’s full, she gets to choose something she wants. It works a bit, but it’s still really tiring.

I just did my work at that age and enjoyed it. No arguing or saying it’s boring.

any tips here ? I try to make it fun, get her to read to her teddies / pretend I’m stumbling over words etc etc but when she doesn’t want to, she just doesn’t want to. I’m dreading next year, where there will be even more homework.

What are the consequences at school if she doesn’t do it?

well, so far that’s not happend because her only homework is reading. So they can’t really tell if it’s done or not. She’s also doing well at school at reading and is on pink books, which I think is slightly ahead. RWI phonics is what they use.

I do tell her teacher she doesn’t always want to do it and her teaches say not to force it.

My son doesn't like doing homework so we do it in bed. He does some reading and writing activities, a bit of maths, his reading book, I read a book to him and then he goes to sleep. I have tried doing homework at all different times of the day and I think the reason he doesn't moan about it before bed is because he isn't doing it during a time he could be doing something else (like playing). He is only 6 so I'm not sure what I will do in the future but it's working at the moment.

Ah it's hard, I do remember the struggle. All mine hated phonics and the graded reading book schemes, they found them boring and frankly so did I so I can't blame them.

Things got much better with the reading when they moved onto 'proper' story books for your reassurance and I never had to nag them to read after that. Once more structured homework like maths worksheets or crafts projects or whatever came in they also saw more of the point and didn't make such a fuss, note I didn't say no struggle at all, they did still whinge sometimes and I had no hope if they were tired or hungry or sick, and spellings and times tables were a permanent battle but we got into a reasonable routine with it and I allowed them some latitude if there was a genuine reason. They all went on to do absolutely fine academically - I tend to think of homework at primary level as just practice really, yes you don't want them to think it's unimportant or optional but little and often is fine...

DD moaned and refused for England re homework in primary.

In secondary she does it - maybe not gladly, but she does it

5 is just too young to see the point.

Arguably there IS no point - meta studies show no value of homework at primary.

As long as you read TO her that's great. You can quite easily put a kid off reading with those school schemes.

Don't stress yourself out, you don't have to do it, especially not when they're only little. We read interesting books at home not biff and chip, I want my kids to actually love reading.

Just don’t do it. Homework in primary is pointless. Has no affect on attainment. Plus you could rally out her off books and learning altogether.

Just read with/to her books she wants to read when she wants to and take the pressure off.

thanks for everyone’s comments.

I guess I just want to foster her learning. But perhaps some after school clubs in stuff she enjoys, visiting museums and exposing her to learning in other ways, is the way to go.

it just stresses me out, as lots of kids are already doing very advanced stuff with their parents, like time tables anf other stuff and I can’t even get her to sit down to do a bit of reading / write a sentence. And yes, it’s more than one parent whose kid can do all this advanced stuff. Parents are super keen at my school and push their kids.

With my ds, he went to a school that just had homework as part of their routine. We have never had to force him to do it as he doesn’t even know there’s an option not to do it 😅.
I would ignore advice that homework is pointless. If school expects it then that’s what they need to do. And it will help them later on to study and do exams when they know how to create a routine of learning at home. It doesn’t happen overnight but from creating a habit.

Exactly my point op. You will get parents who ignore what school says and think homework is pointless. Those kids will lag behind their peers who are actually doing stuff at home. If you leave school work at school, then forget about the important stuff like timetables, reading , writing which she will struggle with because there’s no practice at home.

Gamer changer for us was switching to doing it in the morning before school. DS was so much brighter at that time. He read to one of us while we were making his packed lunch or similar, spellings and times tables we practised on the way to school. Now he’s in year 4 and gets one piece of written homework a week, but usually gets on with it at the weekend without too much complaint these days. When he was younger it was a lot harder work cajoling him into doing it, but it does get better with age OP!

Would she be more receptive to reading books that aren’t school books and therefore not homework? Take her to the library and help her choose books of the right level and read them together. Or buy/ make games where she can put words together into sentences. If she dislikes writing try getting her to make cards for family and friends or helping with writing an easy shopping list.

Get creative but just make sure she does some regular stuff.

At 5yrs old I honestly wouldn’t stress much, tick the box with the school reading book and let her relax at home. She’s very little and school is exhausting.

Mine are older and honestly I’ll help if needed and remind once or twice but if they don’t do their homework they suffer the natural consequence of getting in trouble at school. I don’t mind, it’s not my consequence. It’s not worth the stress and negativity at home. They need to learn to be self motivated and face the consequence of being lazy or bad at organising their time:

This has worked well for us, my elder DCs now happily complete it without reminders or interference. My youngest is work in progress, think she’s going to get a shock once or twice next year when she doesn’t do it, and will then hopefully pull herself together.

What changed for us was when the school themselves introduced a reward system. Those children who had 5 home reading records in a week got sticker and extra play time. It motivated both DC as he didn’t want to miss out on the school reward and us as parents to make sure we facilitated it!

Formal homework for kids that young who should be playing for a little while after school before dinner, bath and bed is an exercise in utter futility and also not a great example (I’m a grown up and I don’t do work after I clock off 🤷‍♀️).
So I have not done any homework with DS this year. He’s on track in all areas, even ahead in some. We play Orchard games at the weekend, they are great for learning letters and numbers etc. I let him choose a set of reading books which are much more engaging than bloody Biff, Chip and Kipper which he’s read 4 times in class and memorised by the time it’s my turn to listen. We play “wordle” with his phonics flashcards and get his dad to do the letter actions sometimes then DS has to tell us the letters.
Basically the hour some parents are spending in mortal combat with the dreadful app the school use for homework, I’m actually using to engage with my child. Doing things he can do, rather than homework we all know has effectively been set for the parents. If I have to make it, I’m not doing it!

yes I think it makes a massive difference.

my DD has managed ok so far. But I want to support her to do well, to be confident- to be the best she can be. Not to be behind her peers, because I don’t try to help her a bit at home. That’s been my intention and vision all along. It’s tough though when your child is just having none of it and is still so young.

Feel your pain

My approach is to do 'activity' books i.e educational material, before bed. I buy the Scholastic grade- appropriate workbook and do a couple of pages of that each night. I don't mention the homework word when doing it.

I also sometimes let them have an extra ten minutes reading: if it means staying up late (just put them to bed ten mins early 😉) they tend to like it.

If she'll is on pink books then she's doing great. Honestly, RWI books are bloody boring and tedious. I don't even want to listen to them. I don't blame her for being bored.

We have a set routine at home. Its not optional.

We come home have a snack and a chat.

Then we read for 10 minutes. They read the RWI book everyday but only bits of it. So them might do the sounds and red works. The next day read the book. The next day tell me the storHeather rest of the time the oldest reads what she wants. She's 6 (year 1) and a free reader. The youngest is 5 and in reception she likes Julia Donaldson. Songbird books or does the workbook. She's reading green at school.

Then we dance (ballet practice) because they have an exam coming up. It's 15 minutes including warm up.

They they can choose an activity colouring, playing with toys, building. Then dinner. If its nice weather we go out and play.

After dinner they can have screen time if everything is done. I like all screens off by 6.30.

Then bath/ shower and gentile routine and more reading. They pich a nook each and I read to them.

My kids like reading eggs and math seed and will often pick that as their screen time. They don't realise they are learning. They also like Mario games on the switch or brain training.

Mine also like activity books. The like CGP books. Anything with a sticker reward.

You need to get to a point where it is part of your routine.

To get to that point, use bribery. A tangible reward once the task is done. Sweets work but I know the MN attitude to sweets!

Have the reward out in front of you both while she does her reading / homework. Tell her before she starts how much she has to do ("Look! Just 2 pages and then you can have X.")Do the same thing every day. Eventually the routine will bed in and you won't need to give a big reward every time.

Reading really needs to be little and often. Before school for 5 minutes. After school. Bedtime.

She's 5. Don't stress it. Just enjoy reading to her. The idea is to foster a love of books not turn it into a battleground which is counterproductive Btw with times tables I used to play a CD of them in the car all the time. Kids picked them up simply through that.

Would she be receptive to turning the words into a game?

For example write down the words onto card and put on the floor. Roll a dice and she has to jump that many times. Each time she lands in a card she has to say the word/sound whoever gets to the other side of the room wins. You do it with the same words and deliberately get them wrong and get her to tell you the correct word. Alternatively a sick puppet eats the words and spits them back out.

But you already have your answer right here…

She’s doing fine with reading and the teacher has expressly told you to just leave it be. You’re going to trample her love of reading by getting stressed and trying to cajole her into it. Honestly, she’s 5. Leave her be. Just read bedtime stories with her.

@Yourethebeerthiefshe might be doing well now, but she needs to learn to actually do her stuff. One day she may not be ok.

we also have a two month summer break around the corner. I want her going into year 1, confident and have some sort of routine down. It would be a shame for her to lose her skills if I don’t create a good routine for her to practice reading and writing most days. Even list 10 minutes.