How am I ever going to get my kid to do homework ??

[srslhw]

I know, a universal challenge..

my DD is 5. Just finishing reception. So far it’s been a light introduction to homework and OMG. It’s so hard to get her to do it. I’m dreading what’s to come.

at the moment she just needs to do some reading and she protests, refuses, tells me it’s boring. It’s an awful experience.

we have a reward jar that I use and she gets stars if she does her reading / writing and when it’s full, she gets to choose something she wants. It works a bit, but it’s still really tiring.

I just did my work at that age and enjoyed it. No arguing or saying it’s boring.

any tips here ? I try to make it fun, get her to read to her teddies / pretend I’m stumbling over words etc etc but when she doesn’t want to, she just doesn’t want to. I’m dreading next year, where there will be even more homework.

So my daughter was a homework avoider. It later became clear when she was diagnosed autistic that school work was to be kept at school and not home. But it wasn’t until she was 11 we realised this and at secondary it was great at their send department held after school homework sessions for send kids to attend with support from staff. This worked brilliantly. This last year has been GCSE year and she did start doing extra at home because of the amount of revision expected. The only thing we did at home secondary wise was reading. Y7-8 insisted on 20 minutes daily reading to be logged. The only way we could do this was to sit down as a family for 29 minutes and read silently. It worked and for my younger child (7 at the start of this) reading at home loads. She’s now an avid reader.

Back to primary days. I’m NOT suggesting your child is autistic before anyone jumps in. It was just to give context to what helped us in later years in case any one was interested. BUT in primary what helped was doing homework in a cafe! We used to drop her sister at rainbows and had to kill an hour before picking her up so we would pop to Sainsbury’s cafe (I miss them, they closed them all) and we got a drink and snack and did homework. After a few weeks she wouldn’t herself up on her own table and crack on with it. Either her drink and snack. No chance of it being done in the house. She was a bit older at 8 but it’s a suggestion that could work. Pop to the library or a cafe - our library has a cafe - and make it fund.

At 5 and in reception onwards the evening reading was a battle. She hated the books. We tried with her reading a page then me reading a page which worked for a little while. Maybe pick a book she wants you to read to her and suggest that she does her school book first for 10 minutes then you’ll read her a chosen book for 10.

Another suggestion is get her to read to her teddies or dolls. Or a younger sibling if she has one.

Also, the phonics books will be ones they’ve covered in school and are meant to be easy for them. They do more challenging ones in school together. But instead of reading the phonics books, get her to help you write a shopping list and read it back, look at some recipes, magazines, cereal boxes. Lots of games.

What I also found was my second child was less resistant as she wanted to copy her older sister a lot. They both got a lot of homework in nursery but they seemed to enjoy it and my youngest always wanted more.

At 5 though, if the teacher says not to push it then don’t make it a hill to die on.

I just built it into their routine. Tea then homework then TV or whatever before bath/bed. The quicker they did their homework the quicker they would move onto play. No rewards. No drama.
Even at 5 they can build that routine and read a little bit, but by Yr 2 it was definitely expected at my kids primary and it would have been apparent if they didn't practice their times tables.

Don't compare your kid to others. Comparison is the theif of joy.

My son is 6 and is a free reader, can pick up any of my novels and read them fluently. He's been reading since he was 2.
He also does arithmetic in his head quicker than I have ever been able to.
His recall of facts is mindblowing.

However he cannot hold a conversation with his peers, requires support to focus on any kind of adult led task and has shockingly awful fine motor skills which means he struggles to hold a pen as well as needing other adaptations (uniform with no buttons, special cutlery etc).

Absolutely encourage curiosity and a love of reading through shared reading, encourage real world reading too - signs, menus, shopping lists etc. But don't worry about where other kids are at 😊

Honestly at 5 I think the books are quite dull and it feels a big chore. I think it's as good to read to them and I always asked ds to follow the words with his eyes as I read. Attempting to foster a love of reading or at least not make it a horrible chore. I'd ask him to read some words that I knew he could do or sound sone out for him but generally just make it fun and interesting. During parents evening I apologised for his reading record not being filled in very often and she waved me away saying "don't worry, we can tell who is reading at home".

With maths, we just challenged each other to count in 2s, 3s, 4s etc on the walk to school to see how high we could get.

If it makes you feel any better my kids' primary school doesn't set homework beyond reading. It's an outstanding school with great sats results (despite a mixed intake). My eldest is at secondary school now and he has had no issues doing his homework. I am not sure what homework achieves at primary, especially when they are so little they can't do it without support.

Homework at age 5?? Just why?

The RWInc books are boring. They do work though. Are you reading the linked storybook too? She can read first, then you can read next.

RWI is mind numbingly boring. Have her read it once and read something more interesting with her instead. At least biff and chip have some fun stuff happening and lots to chat about to expand! I agree though it’s not a hill I’d die on at that age.

Try reading over breakfast when she’s less tired.

i would strongly encourage you to persist, if your strict with a half hour or so of your day now it’ll set up a routine for DC a they get older. Friends really struggled to enforce anything as kids got older and didn’t have a routine.

my children are 11 and 14 and have always read before going to sleep so do this without any issue. Son does morning homework as is very difficult after school and DD prefers evenings. They both know they have to do homework, both me and DH are clear on it being really important. I find it hard work and I’m sure as GCSEs arrive it’ll be worse.

There are a couple of books by five minutes mum with loads of learning games that are quick to set up and fun. I bet she'd rather read when picking words out of a 'word stew' with a ladle or on balloons or jumping along on cushions.

I thought Biff and Chip were awful too - so much needs explaining. Life has changed.

I found some better alternatives by Julia Donaldson.

Having just had my second one go through GCSEs I would say do not sweat over primary school homework. We used to have so many battles but when you sit back and just say “well don’t do it then, and you can let your teacher know why you’ve not done it”, they soon get on with it, or not. But it doesn’t matter - they soon crack on with it when they get sanctions at secondary school.

Might be a bit late to change tack but I don’t think financial reward is a great idea. Kids then regard reading etc as work - as something painful to go through in order to get what they need.

Please dont worry. Homework in primary school is ridiculous. My son would never read at home to the point in Year 3 they labelled him a plodder. He now has a masters in theoretical physics and a fantastic job at the council.. Which incidentally involves a lot of reading.

We didn't do homework on P1, my son would get distressed, the evening would be a massive battle, the school didn't care. In P2 he gets his homework out himself most days and we find he is happiest to do it in the morning while having breakfast. She's 5, give her time

Get her to do a journal over the summer. She can stick something in (napkin from restaurant, shell from the beach) then write a sentence or two about what she did that day. It’s not too onerous for her as she’ll like the sticking in and it’s only a sentence, gives her good practice and has the added bonus of being a nice little keepsake for you.