To ask boyfriend about FB picture

[mushkaa]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, it’s all going well. This may seem like a non issue to some, however yesterday my boyfriend changed his profile picture to a photo of me and him for the first time. Thought it was a sweet thing to do. When I went to comment on it I realised he’d turn the ability to comment off. After a quick scroll through, it’s the only photo on there that you’re not able to comment on.

I don’t usually pay too much attention to social media but this has made me feel a little uneasy. AIBU if I ask him why? I really don’t want to come across as crazy!

Ok. So that probably eliminates 99% of stuff people talk about on MN then.

You are allowed to worry about other things. Personally, I don’t worry about things I can’t control. You must be in a high state of anxiety if you’re worrying about all that. I’d much rather have my mindset

I think their point was that in the greater scheme of things there are probably far larger things to worry about in the world right now. Like the prospect of being dragged into world war three and the odd one or two long range weapons slowly being aimed in the rough direction of the UK right now. But hey, your picture on Facebook....

Another view it could be good to have a distraction, even a minor one,from the global shit storm we are in.

I can't even work out why you'd be worried about this? What is the problem with turning comments off?

I think you wanna take your own screen name as some advice, tbh.

This is by far the most likely explanation.

Most Facebook-related posts on here are from women worrying that their partner still appears single (i.e. no tagged pictures, no relationship status update etc.). He clearly isn’t trying to pretend he’s single and is proud to be with you. Try not to invent problems that don’t exist.

My bet is OP would still be waiting for him to notice five years down the line…

It’s valid for you to be confused by this because you feel your picture together is subject to different conditions or rules than any of his other pictures.

I have OCD so even seeing small things like this without any explanation can easily overtake my mind. My partner gives me space to ask things without feeling accused or making me feel silly for noticing these details. Communication is a beautiful thing. Just ask casually. Surely if he’s got a reasonable explanation he can give it to you.

@mushkaa I think it’s sensible to turn commenting off on a profile pic. Otherwise risk of drunken mates making silly remarks and so on. Just ask why if it’s bothering you.

I don’t blame you OP I’d feel like this as well - FB causes more problems than it solves sometimes on one hand it’s good to connect on another it really feeds our insecurities!

Yes this OP - first paragraph especially

He probably doesn’t want a load of embarrassing comments along the lines of “awwww don’t you look sweet together” etc etc. Boy mates can take the piss - it’s usually the single ones.

The fact that you tried to comment on it yourself suggests he was right to be cautious as you were about to do the online version of marking your territory with a comment which is very uncool as it is so obvious it is for everyone else's benefit which makes you look insecure and controlling - otherwise who communicates with their partner through the comments on photos?

If your BF has made his profile picture of the two of you together I would say that’s a pretty big statement and you don’t need to feel insecure and are now running the risk of ruining the gesture. If I were him and you asked me about it, I would probably see this as a sign I had acted prematurely and change it back to one of only me.

But you do you.

Thank you - this is exactly why it’s bothering me! I feel like I need to know why this particular photo is different to all the other photos he’s ever put up.

So you never worry about anything other than the major global events?

Not helpful to OP who is obviously asking for advice.
OP ignore the dafter / stupid comments.

And likewise, the world is on fire yet you’re getting all uppity and judgemental about a Mumsnet thread, so….

OP, just ask him why.

You’ve made yourself look a bit of a dolt with this daft virtue signalling post.

Why are you on mumsnet then? Why aren’t you rushing round saving the world from the fire?

I think the point is that it's the only photo he's done that with. So why are other people allowed to comment on other photos but not this photo which is the first time he's put OP on his page?

I hate SM, only use it because we live a distance from a lot of family (some in this country some abroad) and it's an easy way to share DD photos with them all. Have restrictions on everything so only family and trusted friends can see what's going on. So I wouldn't even realise this had happened if DH did it because I'd probably not even notice he'd changed his photo not would I really care. But this is about a change from the norm in behaviour.

What is the worst cade scenario? He doesn't want everyone making a big deal about relationship status? He doesn't want you commenting something sweet on Facebook for all to see? His mum or other relatives making gushy comments his friends and work colleagues will see? His friends making stupid laddish comments and not giving them opportunity.

I can't see a reason that would worry me.

look up the fallacy of relative privation, and maybe only post on the News and Middle-East boards?

why on earth are you wasting your time on MN then?

Can you not have more than one concern at a time? How strange.

I would imagine it's to stop people asking who's that? I find that when you change your profile picture you tend to get a lot of people commenting or even liking and then you get loads of notifications. He probably knows it would generate interest and doesn't want to be answering loads of questions particularly if his Facebook isn't just close personal friends but lots of lots of people generally.

I do the same op, I turn off comments. I just feel embarrassed about inviting comments. It's like "look at me" LOL
What were you going to write on it? That's a bit cringe to comment on a photo of you both tbh , maybe that's why he turned off commenting. sorry!!