Life-a boring, monotonous HELL

[Glittercloud17]

My life has become a living monotonous hell! I used to enjoy my life. I used to Leave the house, have friends I’d call up and go to the pub/gym/library/shop with, I used to have boyfriends/girlfriends, sparkly dresses, a brain that wasn’t tied up in knots due to stresses and responsibilities.

Now I have a child, a mortgage, I’m a single mum, no network left behind as everyone is perimenopausal and acting weird, no family who lives close by, and I am in this drudgery of work-school-sofa (watching my child in the evenings) especially in the week. It is so mind-numbing, mindlessly and utterly boring, I am so frustrated. It’s been 8 years of this hell.

How do I get out of this rut?

Please no one say ‘just get out there’. I have! a million times. And now the sheer hell of battling my child to leave the house and listen to another moan or whine from Their mouth, I just want to jump in front of a 🚌 (not literally).

how can you make life more exciting when you’re stuck at home all day everyday??

I think trying to expand the parenting network is key at this age. Your dc can then go out to other peoples houses, start having sleepovers eventually and that will give you a little bit of space. You’d have to reciprocate but that’s not too bad as they play together.

Personally, I know you don’t want anything to do with dc dad, but I’d put in a claim for child maintenance. There doesn’t need to be any contact between you and him. The extra money, if you get it and need it, can help fund day trips, little holidays that will take you out of the day to day drudgery. Or just save it for dc.

Sign your dc up for holiday clubs - stimulating and tiring for them so they’re ready to chill when they get home and you don’t have to be the entertainer.

Any opportunity to take a half day off either permanently (do compressed hours) or fairly regularly to carve out some ‘me’ time? Gym, hobbies, chilling.

Once your dc get to around 13 they can be left alone for a few hours (or have friends over whilst you go out). Encourage friendships and hobbies. They can go to these alone eventually.

So, this period is time limited and won’t last forever, hopefully you can hang on to that.

Yep, ai am not even single and I am still bored. We hardly see each other becuase of work so kight as well be single. I want to smash up the tva when ai hear youtubez my brain is a scrambled egg of kids tv and trying to think of dinners everyone will eat qnd folding socks.
I am very bored and i used to be a full on party person.
I am trying to save into my pension so I can at least have fun then, i have looked at tennis and yoga groups but inevitably they clash with the kids activities.
I brought an adult colouring book, that has been fun 😂

Life gets better from when your dc is about 10.

You can leave them for an hour to go for a run. They might go on PGL They are easier to leave with a child minder.

You are nearly there. Hang on in there.

One tip from CBT is to make a time table. Force yourself. Factor in some good stuff.

I'm not a single mum, but I am a mum to a 4 year old with a DH who travels alot for work and I find it can be mind numbing drudgery. Some ideas...

• sign your daughter up to a weekend activity, whatever she's in to - could be sewing club, swimming, sport - choose a drop off one so you can have some alone time. If she's not up for it try and get one of her friends onboard too
• what about joining a david lloyd gym if there's one nearby, they often have childcare so you can work out too

-is there anything you both like doing together- getting nails done, shopping -I find it best just to get up and get out for the day on a weekend if I'm solo parenting, driving somewhere new for the day. My son is much more difficult at home vs if we are out doing stuff

• play dates with friends- she's old enough for a drop off playdate with a friend, and you reciprocate etc
• could she go to the cinema with a friend? -You drop them off, watch them go in, pick them up after?

You need to prioritise yourself too. It's hard when your carrying it all and are exhausted. I often find i get stuck in a rut/bad head space and the things that bring me out of it are exercise and doing things for myself - could be as small as sitting in the sun, getting my favourite drink from the cafe, reading a newspaper in peace and quiet. Get a babysitter if you can afford it or set yourself a goal of going out at least once a month and trying it. If youre not enjoying it, change something.