The ' cool' boys from school. Why do they do this?

[sandrapinchedmysandwich]

I went to a school reunion a few months ago. It was weird but went fine. This resulted in a flurry of facebook friend requests from people in my year men and women. Everyone befriended each other.

However since then I have had some of the men sending me direct messages. These were the 'cool in crowd rebellious boys' and it is clear they still think they are the bees knees. But in reality they are paunchy middle aged very average guys who still think they are really something. I have not engaged and have deleted.

Do these guys still think they are somehow better because of their social standing at school or is this just a typical man thing? It's strangely sad and depressing

I would suggest it’s because they are hoping that the fact you remember them as “cool” overcomes their currently reality and you’ll fall at their feet.

Because some women fall for it. They fell for the act at school, they still fall for the act now.

These men behave as they do because it's always got them "results" so to speak. They don't need every woman to be stupid enough to find them attractive enough for a quick fling, they just need to cast the net wide enough and they'll pick up enough fish.

Yeah I think they are definitely casting the net wide.

One of my old school friends has, aside from one, only had relationships with men from school. Very similar types of men and she revells in it. She wasn't particularly popular at school and seems overjoyed that these men want to be with her now. I honestly believe if they had approached her in a pub she wouldn't even consider it, but in her mind I think they are still those boys with the curtains and the big puffa jackets that all the girls once wanted to be with.

But is it also a case of now being older and more confident so asking out that person you always fancied?

I don't know because I always asked out the girls I fancied....I never got a yes, but I don't have any regrets😂😂

But they never fancied my friend or I at school. We were kind of invisible and asexual to these boys. This I am almost certain of.

Without sounding vain, I think we have aged better as many women do. These once gorgeous guys probably peaked at school and now seem quite average in every way, yet may still believe that they are somehow elite because of how they were perceived at school

How exactly were they perceived at school? I know ‘cool’ - but how did this manifest itself ?

I think for many people school was their best time in life. They were big fish in little pools.

Or like a good friend of mine, she got to 6th form, the idiots had left and she bloomed becoming popular and she has spent the last 40 years trying to recreate that situation. Rather than realising that your best days are actually a head of you...I've had at least 8 times in my life where I realised I was blessed to have great people around me, great times, lots of good food and drink and wonderful experiences....the next one is just around the corner.

They were a group of boys and girls. Quite rebellious with the latest clothes and hairstyles. Most of these boys and girls were good looking and lots of people fancied them. They were the in crowd and many wanted to be like them or in with them. I recall being very in awe of them when I was a teen.

I think you are overthinking it. You have swapped numbers with men. Now some of them are trying it on. If you had given your number to a bunch of men in the pub statistically some of them would be trying it on. You sound like you think you are superior to them, not a nice trait.

Yes it's quite sad really as lots of times in life are good. One of these boys went to university and came home within a few weeks. He hadn't settled as he was so used to being feted and not having to make an effort, that he didn't know how to socialise normally. He never came to the reunion and no-one really knows where he ended up.

If you read my post, I didn't swap numbers with a lot of men. I was at a school reunion and we all - women and men - added each other on Facebook if we were not already friends.

I don't feel superior to them. Where did I say that? I just feel that some of the men still believe the 'cool guy' hype that surrounded them at school

There is not a boy/man in the world who looked sexy with that godawful greasy curtains haircut that was popular in the nineties. That plus big puffa jacket, ew. Run OP!

Nail on the head. The more people the ask, eventually they'll "catch" someone. If it worked for them at school, they probably still do it as adults as it will still work, they'll just have to contact/ask more people to get a "catch".

Am I the only one who loves seeing the cool kids from school?
In my experience the ones who were good looking at say 13 - 18 ‘go over’ quickly so are nothing special looks wise by their mid 20’s.
However often the gawky, geeky ones seem to grow into themselves and look much better in middle age.

@Fairyliz I agree, the cool crowd in school peaked early and now they no longer stand out for their looks in the same way.
Maybe because of their cool status in school they didn’t feel the need to try as hard as the rest of us who’ve been trying for a lifetime to be viewed with a bit more appreciation.

Are school reunions a thing in the Uk?
Unless it’s a public school thing, I’ve never come across them irl.

God, the popular kids from my school are conspicuously non-coping addicts, in prison or dead. The few I see around when I visit my parents look years older than their age (early 50s) and as if they’ve had tough lives.

I found that SO attractive circa 1994. Not so much now though.

Yes they are quite common. Especially with social media making it so easy to arrange them

Chancers ..they cast their net wide in the hope of making a catch .

Totally agree. There was one woman at the reunion who I will call Laura. She was so quiet at school. Had gorgeous thick shiny hair but it was always tied back and she didn't socialise much. Never went to parties and the like. She is absolutely stunning now. She has a fantastic job and has just done so well for herself. I think the, what we called nerds and geeks, were really onto something. Study hard, avoid all the crappy teen dynamics and come into your own once you go to university.

Spot on, I think.

They're the ones Springsteen was talkng about in Glory Days - definitely peaked in school.

I know where you are coming from OP, I was invisible like you at school, they wouldn’t look at me twice, 30 years later different story! It’s quite a nice feeling to be honest but wouldn’t touch any of them with a barge pole if I was single even though some are still quite good looking.

In my experience, the attractive popular kids from school are quite evenly split into those that aged badly/peaked in school and those that are still very successful/attractive and charismatic in their older years

I have been to several university reunions … I avoid school ones for precisely the reasons you outline.
I was studious and a bit nerdy at university … always sat near front lecture theatre ( because I am as short sighted as buggery )
I have aged better than most and contact lenses have made a difference 😉
it was gratifying ..it healed a lot of my low self esteem from that time and several blokes said at the time they fancied me like mad but where scared of me! No sleeziness though… just nice comments.