The ' cool' boys from school. Why do they do this?

[sandrapinchedmysandwich]

I went to a school reunion a few months ago. It was weird but went fine. This resulted in a flurry of facebook friend requests from people in my year men and women. Everyone befriended each other.

However since then I have had some of the men sending me direct messages. These were the 'cool in crowd rebellious boys' and it is clear they still think they are the bees knees. But in reality they are paunchy middle aged very average guys who still think they are really something. I have not engaged and have deleted.

Do these guys still think they are somehow better because of their social standing at school or is this just a typical man thing? It's strangely sad and depressing

Apparently, self identity in adolescent forms the basis of our self esteem in later life.

This is interesting. Your formative years decide a lot in general though so this definitely makes sense.

Yes, it’s sad.
I know someone like this - bit of a rebel at school, blonde and blue eyed, popular with the girls. Now bald, overweight and with missing teeth but still messaging attractive women on Facebook expecting them to fall at his feet. Such delusion 😂

It's not that sad because obviously you are not aware but it's men that age like fine wine, and women that age like milk.

So from a prime point of view they are probably medium prime and still some to go but you're past your prime, if youre older than 29 anyway.

🤣🤣🤣

That worked for me but it wasn't a deliberate strategy. Just that "looking hot" didn't come naturally to us, so we had to actively try things out, look things up and generally make an effort. And as with everything in life, the more experience and self-knowledge you have, the better you get at it.

Also helps getting out into the wider world where you don't have to have strictly conventional good looks to appeal to people.

Separately, cannot believe I ever found boys with curtains attractive! And your OP is exactly why I accepted everyone in my year on FB back when it all started, had a good nosy, then deleted them all a year later and ignored all reunion requests.

I think the confidence they had from being the 'cool' boys at school has just stayed with them into adulthood/ middle age. It's a mindset for some people and remains with them, even when they've become average joe.

I'm not even aware who the cool boys were at my school, probs makes me v uncool

I had an absolutely stunning boyfriend at school .... I was a geeky shy teen and none of the cool girls could believe he had asked me out and not them.

I saw a photo of him on FB recently ... bloody hell has he changed 😮

They, like most "cool" kids in school, were probably never anything special back then....

It’s men innit

Interesting about some people peaking in their good looks earlier in life. Many moons ago, in my early twenties, there was a super good looking guy at work who everybody fancied. Saw a relatively recent picture of him on Facebook yesterday, and I wouldn't look twice if I passed him in the street. Distinctively average looking.

I recently saw a facebook photo of the lad I went out with at college. I was totally in love with him and thought he was gorgeous. He was actually a really nice lad but it fizzled out between us when I went to uni. I haven't seen him for 30 years now. He has changed a lot too and based on the photo is the typical slightly overweight, balding 50 something bloke you see every day in the high street.