What is the most sensible option? What would you do? Baby no 2

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I’m turning 30 years old in a couple weeks, DH is 32. We have a DD who is 2.5 years old.

What is the most sensible option?

First option: TTC now and all being well get pregnant this year, whilst living in small 2 bed flat. Lower mortgage due to smaller place, so maternity leave SMP will not hit us as much. Put house on market whilst heavily pregnant and aim to move when baby is young to a bigger house. I wouldn’t be returning to current job so possibly affect moving / mortgage? (Dream area is 3 hours from where we are now) have a 3.5 year age gap between kids. Give birth at 30?

Second option: Put house on market next year and aim to move mid to late 2026 into a 3 bed house. Get sorted in house and then ttc, will mean a bit of a bigger age gap of 4-5 years. Have baby at 32 ish rather than 30. Have a bigger mortgage and have a dip in money due to this and being on SMP when on maternity leave.
DD will be in school so one in school and newborn may be easier?

We always said we’d start ttc this July but also want to move next year - I just don’t know what’s best!!

With option 2 I would have to find a job and be there for I believe 26 weeks before I am entitled to SMP*

Option 1. I wouldn’t want a big age gap (although I know a lot of people like it). The baby can sleep in your room until you move.

Which is your strongest urge?

Fwiw, option 1 for me. Baby will be with you in your room for a while anyway. You're not that far from being in baby-mode so the shock of returning to it won't be so bad. If you choose to have a 3rd then you're giving yourself more time in the sensible years 😊

Id do no 1
5 yr gap is tricky to entertain and they are unlikely to "play together". Dh and I had similar gaps and basically didnt really have much of a relationship with our siblings until they were adults - part of the reason we went for a smaller gap

I am leaning towards option 1 but I keep panicking about moving heavily pregnant or with a young baby! But that’s just me over thinking. I worry mortage won’t lend us extra money because I won’t be returning to my old job…

We have a 4.5 year gap, had ds1 at 29 and ds2 at 33, it worked out perfectly for us - they're 5 and 9 now and play together fabulously. I wanted to be able to give baby 2 the 1-1 time I'd given ds1, we planned a 3.5 year gap but it didn't work out that way, we moved into bigger house while I was pregnant with 2nd.

My friend who has a 5 year gap also said this to me, her 7 and 2 year old aren’t really interested in playing together.

Did you find your pregnancy any different at 33 than you did at 29? This is why we have considered option 2 to have a bit more time with DD before trying again.. and not be moving with a newborn or 8 months pregnant

Option 1 - better for everyone in the long run I would say.
I have just under 3 year age gap between my DC and it's about perfect I think, obviously all kids are different but I wouldn't want a bigger gap.

Option 1 and maybe stay in your smaller house a bit longer to save up money and not having to move heavily pregnant . You will manage even if it’s not ideal but youl have a smaller mortgage which will make it a lot easier.

The reason we would want to move next year is because I want DD to be settled and start school Sep 2027 in the new area xx

Definitely go for option 1. We moved when our first was 8 weeks old - it’s tough but doable. You don’t need to tell the mortgage company you won’t be returning to your old job - your plans may change anyway! As far as they are concerned you are employed with X amount of income, and until the baby has actually arrived you only have one dependent. Better to get settled in a new area before your eldest starts school too.

I would say option 1 but when will you need to apply for primary for your eldest. Will she start Sept 27? If so, you need to be in your new house by Jan 27 so really you need to be on the market by next Easter to give you a chance.

Oh, cross post with OP! Sorry!

Thank you, I do think option 1 is what we will do! And agree more important for my dd to be settled and her name on primary school register for starting in the September

I would say my experience is very different. There is a 5 1/2 year age gap between my brother and I (me being older) and we were always very close growing up, from his baby years all the way through to young adulthood. Drifted slightly now due to living 5 hrs from each other, though still meet whenever we can. It also meant as we were at such different stages, there was rarely any jealousy. I also loved helping out when he was a baby, looked after him when I was old enough to babysit, I helped him with driving once he was 17 as I was old enough to accompany him.
I’m not saying that means option 2 is the right one for you, but the larger age gap worked really well for us.

I moved when heavily pregnant. Apart from packing a few of the boxes, my DH did everything else. However, we didn't already have a 3yo.

I would also say option 1, because it also may take longer than you think to move!
DH and I decided to move house last Easter, and due to taking a while to sell our house, then endless faff with the chain, we only actually moved this March, almost a year later!

I would say option 1 because it took us absolutely ages to move house, over a year due to chains falling through. I wouldn’t want to put my life on hold with it. How long did it take you to conceive with first DC?

Option 1 the smaller age gap

Definitely option 1, if you put it on the long finger something else may come up and you may never end up with dc2. I will admit I'm quite an impatient person though 🫣

2 miscarriages at 10 weeks before we conceived DD, all in just under a year. I do worry about further losses though so it makes me think option 1! Just in case

Option 1, you never know how long you will be TTC for so could end up with a much bigger age gap than 4 years.

Thank you xx it is true

Option 1 and factor in the cost of using packers when you move + cleaners to do your current property once empty and new one before you move in.