to think that my friends a racist?

[avenanap]

I was sitting in her car, having a chat about RE teching in junior schools. I explained to her that I thought RE should encompass teaching more religions than christianity (muslim, Judaism, paganism, budism etc) then she piped up how she thought I was wrong and how our children should only learn christianity (regardless of parents beliefs)as all of the others were corrupting and would mislead them into a life of terrorism! Then she goes on about how our children should be learning about the crusades (sorry, didn't this involve christians slaughtering people from other religions?) and how immigrants are bleading the country dry and using all of our resources. Sorry, I don't find her views accptable, especially as she's married to a Muslim Immigrant and she's applying for a grant for him so he can go to Uni for 3 years! AIBU to think she's full of shit?

Did you not point out the slight conflict between her views and her behaviour?

Having said that, there are quite a few Muslims in the West who don't have much time for Islam.
Her husband might be one of them.

I couldn't get a word in edgeways I was so angry. She's not the sort of person to argue with really, the never shuts up and doesn't listen. Always right, you know the sort.

I don't know how much he practices (she's catholic, in name only I think), there are arabic cards all over the house, they no longer eat pork because she's told him that it's the closest thing to human flesh (nice!), yet she eats bacon sandwiches . She's also been to buddist temples.

That is very odd Vicky
i am catholic and have always been informed that i would have to be able to evidence my attendence at church to secure places for my children at schools in Kent and Surrey. But you are saying that the school told you they were obliged to accept prcaticing muslims instead of your DD , a practicing catholic.
Seriously ?
Where is this?

I was under the impression that the cathoic school system gave priority to catholics? (after children in local authority care)

Perhaps others can comment but I have never encountered a catholic school that would not take a catholic child as priority. Never come across it ever.
Perhaps I have a sheltered life?

That is interesting vicky.
And I hope I don't sound on your case - but it is these sort of general assumptions that get bandied about and made real - reinforcing 'resentments' that may not be based on the truth at all.

It might be helpful if you either found out whether your belief that your child was denied a place because of muslim imigrants is true or stop saying it. Because those types of stories are really invidious and damaging.

may I ask a direct question please Vicky?

Are you actually Catholic? If you are, are you weekly church-goers?

Vicky - are your family practising Catholics - ie has your daughter been baptised and do you attend mass weekly? Because if you are not, there is no particular reason why your daughter should have been offered a place at a Catholic school ahead of anybody else.

ahhh . A point well made.
You have won me over.
Clearly a details kind of woman.
well argued

Once a month wouldn't cut it for our local secondary CofE school. The parents have to sing in the choir, lead Sunday school or be a vicar! Not much chance for us then.

The Muslim family may have got in on religious need (i.e. single sex school), catchment or special need.

I genuinely wasn't trying to pick you up.
I think we all make assumptions all the times. Thats all I was trying to say.
And then our innocent assumption can be turned into something else by those who enjoy conflict.
I really wasn't trying to point score.

I grew up with Irish parents at a time when we were being blamed for nicking jobs and benefits. I remember one of my friends at school repeating thather dad had said that " his taxes were paying for my mum and dads kids"
As my dad never took an benefits from the day he arrived until the day he died that was pretty harsh. But her dad just assumed.
that was all I was trying to say.
never meant it personally at all.

We were given a place at the local catholic school for ds1 which annoyed our neighbours as the didn't get a place. They are catholic. We are not and also it wasn't our first choice of school as we didn't think we would get in.

There are Buddhist terrorists.

The fluffy-hippy Buddhism most of us in the west are familiar with isn't completely representative of Buddhism as lived.

It's like the New Testament. I mean you'd think all Christians would be turning the other cheek and understanding what are perceived as the lowest of the low in society are actually more worthy, but Christianity as lived by some people can be nasty and full of hate by people convinced of their own righteousness.

Back to the OP though. Why would you not challenge her views? Your silence on the matter will be taken as approval for her views.

And as for some of the views on this thread Obviously Muslims cannot be British

And yes vicky1985, you are a racist. If you weren't you wouldn't have mentioned immigrants and you wouldn't have mentioned Muslim, and you certainly wouldn't have assumed that the child merely got the place because she was a "Muslim immigrant". Neither would you have assumed that a someone's Muslim younger sister shouldn't have got into if your friend's younger sister didn't.

AMumInScotland: Hope that didn't sound like I was getting at you! I just read a lot about Buddhism at one point... passing on the knowledge so to speak

I did try . I was more shocked then anything else though, her being married to a muslim immigrant and all. I tried to tell her about a tolerant society and how we should teach our children to listen and respect other faiths. She was having none of it and went home. All faiths have pretty much the same morals underneath, respect, helping each other, tolerance etc. I told her this, then she parped on about how our kids should be learning about the christian history of England, Henry the 8th (who murdered catholics if I remember correctly), the crusades (where muslims were murdered). She's not normally like this. I've known her for 5 years and she's never said sh*t like this before. She's always been opinionated but never like this. I'm quite sad about it.