I was played again .

[Kenyaparks]

Me 24 have been talking to this man 28 for about 4weeks now. We met online, he wasn't initially my type, but he was applying pressure and it caught my interest. I met him on hinge he seemed genuine, we live two hours away from each other but he seemed not to mind that. Never met each other we have ft several of times

The first couple weeks we were talking he tried to come and see me for the weekend and rent a room. I was busy both weekends, he ended up going on vacation and was calling me while he was there buying me souvenirs texting me etc, just being very consistent. He came back from vacation and that kinda died down? He only was texting me and stoped calling. He tried to come down the weekend he got back to being me my gifts and take me on a date. I was going to let him, but I really thought about how I knew he would be expecting intimacy from me sense he's renting a room. He didn't directly say that but I already knew. So I just agreed on coming out where he lives that next weekend since me and my family already agreed on going out there during that time.

Make a long story short he was texting me counting down the days to see me, just for me to get out there and him be a slow texter, he sent me the details on our date planned, then right after he said that he had to go into work do to the pipes flooding, how he's on standby for his job and it was an emergency how he couldn't make it .... kept texting me saying he apologizes promising me that he would make it up on Saturday once I got back to my city. I got there on Thursday morning and left Friday afternoon, he kept begging me to just stay the weekend and if I did he would drive me home etc. I declined because I had work on that Saturday. He said he would just come out to see me this weekends to make it up. Kept telling me how he wants to be in my life etc. said he'll just prove it to me. This was all yesterday

Anyways the day has come when he was supposed to drive out here and I haven't heard anything from him at all today I feel soo stupid, was this a game to him ?

this was all last week/weekend

I wouldn't say it was a game but just tread carefully. He could be a fantasist, a catfish (not who he pretends to be) or a scammer or even a danger to you.

You said you were away with family when he declined to meet you.

You don't know this person. Don't meet him in private/ go to his accommodation or have him at yours. Take sensible precautions - meeting in a public place. His behaviour is strange and your spidey senses should be tingling. Even better give this one a miss.

These where all the texts he was sending me on the day he canceled
Princess why would i put all this energy into - us just to play give me a chance to come out there Saturday I promise really want to see u

-That’s impossible queen why would I put all this energy while I’m in a relationship would never do u like that u know I work for the city
-& I have your souvenirs still I want to give to you
-Don’t do this I want us to talk queen u special fr & love your energy just give me a chance
-Princess just give me a chance want to be in your life
-wish u could just stay for the weekend 😢 but Ok princess & I will come out there I promise will make it up to you

He never came like he said he would and it was crickets on that day from him

He sounds like he is absolutely full of shit. Sorry

Block his number now. He has had his chances to meet you.

At best he only wants to meet up if he gets a weekend as he hopes to get you into bed. At worst he is a danger.

He is love bombing you with absolute rubbish.

Block him.

A genuine bloke will not be so over the top when you have never even met and would be happy to meet for lunch or a drink and not expect your first meeting to be a whole weekend.

Yes he’s been blocked since Saturday

I mean he could look at you and say the same not wanting to meet up before that several times

This! He’s not anywhere close and he’s playing you. Keep him blocked.

Are you very young? You’re not actually falling for any of this nonsense are you?

It’s all very cringe and so clearly nonsense. This is a bloke you have never met who lives two hours away, why are you even bothering? You need to grow up a bit.

For online dating you shouldn’t be matching with anyone who’s far away and the first few conversations should be light. Just gentle getting to know each other until you grab a coffee to see if you get on. You don’t waste weeks speaking to someone and getting invested in someone you have never met when you have no idea who they really are or if you click together. You certainly don’t spend weeks with texts like that; princess and queen and all that nonsense. It’s love bombing. It’s all fake. It’s all fantasy. And if it’s not and the man really is obsessed with you that is a huge red flag and you need to run in the other direction. It doesn’t sound like you’re actually in the right place for online dating as you seem to be too vulnerable.

1. Lovebomber
2. Timewaster
3. Player

On and on and on it goes.

You don't know him, but there is enough here to show you that you should NOT WASTE MORE TIME on this toad.

Take a step back. What is it you actually want from online dating? I can’t tell.

Are you happy with a hook up or do you want a BF? Work that out first then set yourself some standards that the person you are speaking to must meet. First standard should be that they understand any safety concerns you have and never try to get you to ignore those concerns.

This guy is clearly a player or a scammer. There are lots of them out there. You will need to be fairly brutal in recognising this kind of behaviour.

Why are you letting these losers in your life at all? How come anyone has access like this? Just no. Rethink the way you are dating, you are leaving yourself wiide open to problems and liars.

"Princess" "Queen" 🤢 And you haven't even met. Def. "lovebombing" which makes him appear insincere and quite ridiculous.

His messages sound insane. Give this one a miss. Better luck with the next one OP. I know it's not easy trying to meet someone great

Throw this one back. Too many red flags. Trust your gut instinct. It is there to keep you safe.

All this from someone you've never even met?

scammer. Not in the uk.

OP, you're still early on in your dating life in the grand scheme of things so this is a great time for you to decide what your dating boundaries are.

I'm not going to claim that I've never let a guy from Bumble come to my apartment and ... but I lived in a building where you had to show your ID, scan a QR code, and sign in with a book. And I had an intercom phone to front desk. Outside of those very lucky circumstances, it's a bad plan to let a strange guy even know where you live.

Your dating boundaries could be something like, you only engage with men who invite you for drinks. Doesn't need to be coffee or dinner or anything extreme, but you get to vet him and go to a bar. Then, you can refuse to sleep with him until after the second date. Go home. Process. Does he fit your requirements? If so, accept second date. You could refuse to sleep with him until marriage. Whatever. Just insist on a nice normal date for your first engagement. And actually, don't even insist. just delete guys who expect you to meet them that night/let them come to your apartment. Absolutely not. It would take several dates before I even let a guy know where I lived with any precision.

You are going to need to decide your boundaries and then screen aggressively. Good luck. Your boundaries are the key to a happy life.

Get off the apps and do the freedom programme before you even think about resuming dating.

The first line of your post said he was applying pressure. That should have been the most enormous red flag for you even before all the other nonsense.

You need to develop some boundaries before you try this again.

Good. He sounds like a waste of time, Kenya.

Do you not meet people in your ordinary life, when with friends or at work? Internet dating seems very dodgy to me. If you were older, and both took a lot of time about it, then met for a coffee first time, next date a meal or something, in a public place where you could talk and size each other up, that would be different but for someone of your age it seems unnecessary.

He went over the top, frankly, in the way he spoke to you, considering you had never actually met. Dangerous.

Be careful in future.

Lucky escape OP - all holiday ‘souvenirs’ are awful, at least you don’t have to feign delight with some grotty landfill destined tat now

Princess?
Queen?

Apart from the ick factor that really, REALLY, reads like the scam texts/emails sent by damming farms that you see in the documentaries of those poor people that get fleeced…. Glad you’ve spotted he (if he even is a he, some gangs are female) is a wrongun’ and got them blocked x

He's married.

Be very careful - this could be anyone!!??
I know many people meet online now but this doesn’t strike me as very safe op. Do not meet him without telling someone where you will be and times etc. Don’t meet him if you feel pressured for intimacy either. That’s such a huge red flag! Do you think it will head towards a relationship if you begin this way? I highly doubt it…. Be careful I feel this is super vulnerable and not very safe for you x

This is typical scammer talk. They use Queen a lot. They also ask if you've eaten today. He will soon be asking for gift cards etc.

I watch a channel on YouTube called catfished. Give it a look , you may find similarities.