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Original poster

To burn the villa down

230 replies

Kinkyroots · 16/06/2025 21:25

We’re staying in a villa in a hillside villa in Cyprus - DH (thank fucking god it was him and not me) went in to top our drinks up and a fucking tarantula was sat in the kitchen. He managed to catch it in the pool net but I am totally freaking out.

OP posts:
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6
TadpolesInPool · 17/06/2025 00:06

We moved to the Caribbean a few years ago. After a LOT of exposure therapy we now all deal calmly with iguanas, lizards, geckos, cockroaches, lots of random other insects and small to medium sized spiders.

I can confirm that the fuck off huge spiders generally run away if you scream at them. That said, we no longer scream, we all just calmly back out of the room and call DH. I have also proudly dealt with one all by myself when DH was away. They are definitely the thing we all hate most here.

When I encountered a poisonous snake on my walk, I also just backed away and walled away quickly.

Am actually pleased that my DC have been exposed to all this wildlife. However I hate the gangs of dogs roaming the streets and could really do without that! (My 10 year old got threatened once on the walk to school but he was quick thinking and used his umbrella to make the dog leave. A good learning moment!)

Roomforapony · 17/06/2025 00:07

LemonyPicket · 16/06/2025 23:26

Why did I just read this entire thread 😐

Giving me flashbacks to the time I stayed in a “tropical island hut” on a beach in East Malaysia. Yup, you can guess the rest. Edit to add: DH asked me to go and find something to catch it in, I brought back a large coffee mug and he replied “nope that’s nowhere near big enough” and we had to use a BUCKET

Edited

I didn’t think this thread could get anymore terrifying but a BUCKET? You had to use a BUCKET?!?!
I’m never leaving the UK again unless it’s to go the arctic circle, I’ll take my chances with the polar bears!

Giggorata · 17/06/2025 00:09

Why did I read this thread? I'm scared to go to bed now, in case one appears…

Slatterndisgrace · 17/06/2025 00:10

TadpolesInPool · 17/06/2025 00:06

We moved to the Caribbean a few years ago. After a LOT of exposure therapy we now all deal calmly with iguanas, lizards, geckos, cockroaches, lots of random other insects and small to medium sized spiders.

I can confirm that the fuck off huge spiders generally run away if you scream at them. That said, we no longer scream, we all just calmly back out of the room and call DH. I have also proudly dealt with one all by myself when DH was away. They are definitely the thing we all hate most here.

When I encountered a poisonous snake on my walk, I also just backed away and walled away quickly.

Am actually pleased that my DC have been exposed to all this wildlife. However I hate the gangs of dogs roaming the streets and could really do without that! (My 10 year old got threatened once on the walk to school but he was quick thinking and used his umbrella to make the dog leave. A good learning moment!)

How do you and your DH deal with the spiders?

Slatterndisgrace · 17/06/2025 00:11

Giggorata · 17/06/2025 00:09

Why did I read this thread? I'm scared to go to bed now, in case one appears…

If you’re in the UK you’re generally safe, they tend to come in September time when it starts to cool down.

MoistVonL · 17/06/2025 00:12

outerspacepotato · 16/06/2025 21:55

My kids used to try to fish for them. They're not aggressive, they're shy.

Now the jumping wolf spiders can be a handful.

I think there are wolf spiders and jumping spiders, but not jumping wolf spiders.

Jumping spiders are the cute ones with the big eyes. They are also pretty small.

NellyBellyDancer · 17/06/2025 00:12

TwoTierBbq · 16/06/2025 22:15

OP I really feel for you we need the bloody laugh emoji back
Good luck tonight.

Where did the ‘laugh’ emoji go??

Slatterndisgrace · 17/06/2025 00:14

NellyBellyDancer · 17/06/2025 00:12

Where did the ‘laugh’ emoji go??

Show quote history

I’d like to know why it went.

LifeExperience · 17/06/2025 00:15

Don't ever move to Oklahoma. During mating season the males go wandering all over the place looking for females: in the roads, on your house, across your patio, etc. I pulled my car out of the garage once to wash it and there was a huge one as big as my hand on the garage floor. Nothing a broom and a whole can of bug spray couldn't cure, but definitely disconcerting.

Lonelydave · 17/06/2025 00:16

Slatterndisgrace · 17/06/2025 00:14

I’d like to know why it went.

Show quote history

been eaten by all the nasty spiders!

Roomforapony · 17/06/2025 00:17

SlightlyJaded · 16/06/2025 23:55

Years ago was staying in Kato Paphos - so Paphos Cyprus, but up the hill in the old town rather than right by the beach. There were 3 of us in a 3 bed apartment (all female). We'd been there a couple of days when we discovered the biggest fucking Horror Film Style Tarantula in one of the bedrooms. We literally slammed the door shut, stuffed towels under the crack and never went back in. The friend who's room it was took turns sleeping in our rooms for the whole two weeks and using our clothes and bath/beauty products rather than open the door again.

At the end of the holiday we persuaded some lads from the same complex to go in and get her stuff out of the cupboard to pack. They opened the door and there were FUCKING SPIDER COCOONS hanging from the ceiling. I honestly thought I was going to faint.

Boys went in and grabbed everything, shook it out to make sure there was nothing nestling amongst friend's stuff and quickly shut door again. She left her toothbrush, face wash, shampoo, conditioner, moisturiser and suncreams behind, because not even the blokes were going to walk under the cocoons to the bathroom.

You win🏆

48mumof6 · 17/06/2025 00:17

It’s my 30th wedding anniversary next May and my 50th birthday in September am looking to book a holiday to a place neither of us have been Cyprus is off the list now! Think will stick to Italy or Ireland

AngelicKaty · 17/06/2025 00:17

GoldfinchFeather · 16/06/2025 23:59

I'm hate to be that person, but these jokes about burning wildlife just because you don't like the look of it are pretty tiresome and tasteless.

Don't be such a wuss.

Yes, but you are being that person and you know everyone's simply indulging in hyperbole so why be that person?

NellyBellyDancer · 17/06/2025 00:18

How long has the 😄 been missing?

mantlepiece · 17/06/2025 00:18

My friend lives in Greece, they have giant flying cockroaches..

TulipZero · 17/06/2025 00:23

GoldfinchFeather · 16/06/2025 23:59

I'm hate to be that person, but these jokes about burning wildlife just because you don't like the look of it are pretty tiresome and tasteless.

Don't be such a wuss.

Jokes are purely that.. jokes. Humour is subjective, nuanced and mostly not meant to be offensive. I highly doubt that any well-adjusted human wants to set fire to any other living being. Spiders are a real and genuine fear for a lot of people. A lot of people won’t harm a spider because of that. Their kin get that privilege 🙄 😭

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 17/06/2025 00:26

48mumof6 · 17/06/2025 00:17

It’s my 30th wedding anniversary next May and my 50th birthday in September am looking to book a holiday to a place neither of us have been Cyprus is off the list now! Think will stick to Italy or Ireland

According to pp above Wikipedia says that there are tarantulas in southern Italy !! The lakes and Venice are nice … (We were planning Sorrento next year, oh dear … Hopefully they mean at the very bottom)

TiredCatLady · 17/06/2025 00:34

This. This is why flamethrowers exist.

Todayisaday · 17/06/2025 00:36

I can't even read any more of this thread. In the uk but now fully awake in case of tarantulas 😫

Original poster
Kinkyroots · 17/06/2025 00:41

Todayisaday · 17/06/2025 00:36

I can't even read any more of this thread. In the uk but now fully awake in case of tarantulas 😫

It’s 0240 here. I’ve blocked the little prayer nook/linked to chimney thingy with a pillow, sober despite many vodkas and too scared to sleep.

OP posts:
MannyTeddy · 17/06/2025 00:42

This was one reason I got married and it might have been in my wedding vows about removing said creatures.
It's a 2 way marriage as I dealt with the lizards.

Wintersgirl · 17/06/2025 00:43

largeknitter · 16/06/2025 22:06

I have Cyprus on my list to visit but they can get to fuck now. I bet they don’t put Tarantulas on the bloody tourist website.

Same, not going there now!

Slatterndisgrace · 17/06/2025 00:44

MannyTeddy · 17/06/2025 00:42

This was one reason I got married and it might have been in my wedding vows about removing said creatures.
It's a 2 way marriage as I dealt with the lizards.

Priorities!

pizzaHeart · 17/06/2025 00:45

MauriceTheMussel · 16/06/2025 21:48

Takes Cyprus off the holidays list

Me too 😬

BooneyBeautiful · 17/06/2025 00:50

largeknitter · 16/06/2025 22:06

I have Cyprus on my list to visit but they can get to fuck now. I bet they don’t put Tarantulas on the bloody tourist website.

DD is going to a wedding in Cyprus next month. I have warned her!