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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband and Parents

58 replies

Jemima85 · 16/06/2025 13:50

We have been temporarily living with my parents since Easter due to our house having building work. It should be completed for us to move back in by mid July at the latest.

My parent live in the next town over and we have a DD (7) who attends school where we live - it's about a 15/20 minute drive to get her there.

Everything was going well until approx. 1 month ago when I ruptured my achilles playing netball. I am currently in a boot and I will not be in a position to drive until late August / early September.

My husband's job is approx a 2 hour commute each way. He usually leaves around 5.30 each morning, returning home at 7pm. It's a long day for him. There is currently a lot going on and it is very much make or break due to financial problems the company are having. DH needs to be there as he is currently having to sort out many issues.

As a result, I am having to rely on my parents to do the school drop and pick up each day. They don't particularly enjoy driving and I wouldn't ask them, but I really do not have anybody else to ask. School mum friends are in the next town over and they're rushing to and from work to pick up their DC.

My sister did do a couple of school runs, but has said that she can no longer offer any support as her DH is back to work following time off for an op.

DH is WFH when he possibly can to support with school runs and to take me to and from the hospital for physiotherapy, but this is becoming problematic as in the eyes of my parents and sister he is not doing enough.

Every opportunity my mum and sister are making negative comments about DH saying that he always has lots going on at work and why should we be relying on them all of the time to support. We are not. He is helping, but as I say the company is on the verge of financial collapse and he can't just drop everything to run me to the hospital. They don't seem to understand what he has going on.

Trips to the hospital are usually begrudgingly offered with a lot of sighing and swearing making me feel like a burden.

DD has picked up on the tension and just cries saying she wants to go home. My parents show little interest in her and my mum has called her an "odd strange girl" and has been very sharp with her. This is in contrast to my sister's two DD who she talks non stop about.

I feel trapped and I feel like I am in the middle. The timing of this injury could not have come at a worse time. I am really grateful to my parents and say thank you etc and I give them petrol money, we buy them things for helping, but my mum is now saying she is finding it too much pressure and asking why my MIL is not helping - MIL lives 6/7 hours away and flies down to see us and if she came would not have access to a car and we usually put her up.

It's a complete mess, but my sister was here again this morning making me feel bad and bad mouthing DH.

I am not sure how to navigate this. I also just want to be back home.

OP posts:
Tiredandtiredagain · 16/06/2025 19:16

Jemima85 · 16/06/2025 14:27

We should be back in in the next 4 weeks so renting is not an option.

What about an Airbnb

ARichtGoodDram · 16/06/2025 19:16

Buy or hire a mobility scooter, then you can take her on the bus without needing their help

stichguru · 16/06/2025 19:25

I am sorry that your parents are being so horrid. However, they obviously don't want to do this and it isn't their problem to sort. Find an air B and B, a house that will do a short-term let, and find friends or a childminder who will do school runs.

Cherrysoup · 16/06/2025 20:29

The question is, why are they being such arses? And have you asked the question?

LaurieFairyCake · 16/06/2025 20:37

  1. keep her off school
  2. get taxis
  3. put up with them moaning
  4. air b n b as close to school as possible

I think your family is AWFUL, they are not trying to empathise with you

separately I think that you should never see your parents again, they are doing irreparable damage to your 7 year old by not engaging with her and by calling her weird

frankly, theyre CUNTS. Drop them, move anywhere else @Flowers

I’m so sorry they’re so awful, I can only assume that you didn’t notice they were arseholes before Sad

Gyozas · 16/06/2025 21:00

The very worst bit here is how they treat your little daughter. Just awful.

Burntt · 16/06/2025 23:55

Get a short term nanny for the school runs?

air b and b

use crutches and public transport.

your husband drops you and dd to the park/cafe/whatever nearest school and you just spend ages waiting about

have you offered to pay the school mums you know? Possibly that might be good incentive for some

check childcare.co.uk you can search by school they do runs for. Then husband drop and collect to the CM. For just 4 week they may be ok with early starts/late finish. May even be prepared to collect. Im a CM I’ve collected kids before when mum had a c section and couldn’t drive for 6 weeks. I hated it but agreed as just 6 weeks

FrodoBiggins · 17/06/2025 00:01

Another vote for Airbnb near the school. If you can bear to go back to parents (or stay with a friend) at weekends you might only need to pay Sunday to Thursday night, which tends to make it cheaper. Sorry you're going through this, sounds totally rubbish.

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