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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

childminder bring her dd to nursery with appendicitis

48 replies

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:11

Took my ds to his nursery today & the assistent had her 10yr dd there. I asked if she had a day off school & was told she had appendicitis but was ok.

I thought this was a serious problem but was told no it's mild. Not happy that her dd was there as if she's ok she should be at school not playing with the little ones.

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 23/05/2008 10:13

it's not catching

not sure what the problem is, unless it breaks some OFSTED guidelines ...

wannaBe · 23/05/2008 10:14

yabu. it may be possible she has a niggling appendix, but either way appendicitis is excrutiatingly painful so if she has this then it's likely that mild will probably progress to more severe and hospital treatment will be required.

None of your business whether someone else's child is at school or not.

wannaBe · 23/05/2008 10:15

and no it's not catching.

belgo · 23/05/2008 10:15

It's possible to have appendicitis problems without them being serious. Of course they can become serious very quickly, so she was right to keep her home.

I also don't understand what the problem is. it's not catching as Ruby says.

Original poster
cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:16

She's not at home but at the nursery.

OP posts:
Lazycow · 23/05/2008 10:17

Apendicitis isn't contagious as far as I know

Operations take a while to recover completely from but that doesn't mean you have to stay in bed the whole time.
The child has probably recovered enough that they can be out and about but not completely well enough to be at school.

Perhaps not ideal to bring the child to work but maybe there was little other option. As a working parent myself I'd always try and show solidarity to another working parent with a childcare crisis. I've had enough of them to know what that feels like.

I'd have thought having a 10 year old to play with the little children would be fantastic for them actually. It is probably a perfect age. Not too old to be bored by playing with little ones but old enough not to worry too much about how she would behave with them.

belgo · 23/05/2008 10:17

Well presumably she didn't have emergency child care, and she didn't want to take the time off work.

PinkChick · 23/05/2008 10:18

Is she at a nursery or at her own home(you say childminder in your title)??...either way, why does it effect you?

Lazycow · 23/05/2008 10:18

Oh I was assuming she had had an operation a while ago and was recovering but if it is a grumbling appendix even more reason to have her close by in case.

Original poster
cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:19

She's not had an operation for it.

Just testing the water on having bigger kids in a nursery when they might require some looking after themselves if not up to going to school.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 23/05/2008 10:19

im sure she can judge herself when her child is too poorly for school but ok enough to be with her.as others have said its not catching and im sure its not interferring with your ds care?

PinkChick · 23/05/2008 10:19

if childminder/nursery nurse had taken day off to stay home with her poorly dd wouldnt that have put YOU in a awkward position and then you would have ahd to find alternative care??

Original poster
cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:21

the mum works at the nursery my ds goes to. It's not in her own home.

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 23/05/2008 10:21

but she is 10 and old enough to look after herself!

PinkChick · 23/05/2008 10:23

So if she ahd not turned in today, would yous till ahve been able to take your dd?, as without her the nursery ratios would be down?

Honestly though, her dd is in pain, but not contagious, think the mum has more to worry about(her job and taking time off plus prroly daughter) than people being unhappy because her dd's there?)..IME the 10yr old will be fab with the younger ones!

Original poster
cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:23

Just feel uneasy about it - don't know why.

If I'd been told that XXX can't come in as her dd has appendicitis then of course I'd sort something.

OP posts:
Original poster
cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:25

Meant ds!!! - I'd have kept him at home. I suppose my uneasiness comes from thinking she might say to her dd keep an eye on them whilst she goes to put one in bed or clean a potty.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 23/05/2008 10:26

think there are two issues here.

The first is that this child has appendicitis which at its worse can be likened to the pain of childbirth (I have been there) which means this child can't really go to school atm. The fact her mum works in a nursery mean that rather than take the day off she has brought her dd to work with her. That's really nobodoy's business but hers tbh.

But the second issue is that this child has been allowed into the nursery to play with the other children? Afaik this isn't on as the child isn't insured to be in there with the smaller children - the rooms will be divided into age groups and the nursery insurance only covers what happens with the paying children and the staff, but not children of staff, so if something were to happen and say this child were to drop a baby for instance then the nursery liability insurance would not cover it. A nursery where my sister had her ds for a period had this issue, where the manager's 9 yo daughter would come in after school and go and play with the children. some parents complained to ofsted and the nursery were severely wrapped over the knuckles for it and told it shouldn't happen.

RubySlippers · 23/05/2008 10:26

honestly, i think you are worrying about nothing

if they are a good nursery she won't be left to keep an eye on anyone in the absence of her mum or a nursery nurse

littlepinkpixie · 23/05/2008 10:30

Its not ideal to have to take your child into work, but it doesnt sound like anyone will be any the worse for it. From what you have written I dont think I would be bothered by this.

ceebee74 · 23/05/2008 10:30

Wannabe - that is interesting what you say about staff's children. At DS's nursery, the 2 deputy manager's children always come in - one of them is about 5 and in school uniform and I know that she just comes in before and after school. The other one is about 8 (not very good at guessing ages) and is always there in the morning when I drop DS off if his mum is working that day. He is never in school uniform so I don't know whether he goes to school or stays all day.

I have to say that occasionally I do wonder if it is ok -but you have got me thinking whether it is worth mentioning it to someone.

Original poster
cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:32

Thanks for different points of view!

OP posts:
PinkChick · 23/05/2008 10:32

So i this lady the ONLY carer i the nursery?

Original poster
cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:33

There are two carers

OP posts:
wannaBe · 23/05/2008 10:34

it's not actually ok because it messes with the adult-child ratios. So if the nursery is full and they have as many children to adults as is the legal requirement and someone brings their child in from home then they are breaching those ratios, even if that child isn't a paying child, iyswim?

That's the reason why if you go on a school trip you can't take your other children with you because then the school are breaching their ratios.

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