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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

childminder bring her dd to nursery with appendicitis

48 replies

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:11

Took my ds to his nursery today & the assistent had her 10yr dd there. I asked if she had a day off school & was told she had appendicitis but was ok.

I thought this was a serious problem but was told no it's mild. Not happy that her dd was there as if she's ok she should be at school not playing with the little ones.

OP posts:

windygalestoday · 23/05/2008 10:35

of course she wont be left looking after the babies- when my ds2 was home schooled through ill health he often came along with me to ds3 playgroup where i was an assistant tbh the children and mums loved him - she will probably just read and play with the babies .
i cant really see what your problem is and why you feel uneasy,as for accidents and insurance i think its similar to a mum helping out would she be able to launch a compo claim id the pva glue stuck her to the floor or if she tripped on a tiny tears or....i do think nurseries are covered by insurance for all accidents because its quite natural for children of all ages to accompany parents when delivering and collecting children.

windygalestoday · 23/05/2008 10:37

wannabe when my ds was at primary his class teacher used to bring his own son into school with him because he was suspended for trying to burn his own school down tbh i think lot of these rules are bendable depending on who you are.

Marina · 23/05/2008 10:38

I can see why you are concerned cupsoftea - with regards to the dd, who I am sure is great (most 10 years are around children!) being used as "cover", with no ill intent. Wannabe's second para covers it well.
That said, we never minded the carers at ds' old nursery bringing in their children (on INSET days for example), because it was a small nursery where we all knew each other well and we already felt we "knew" their children because we chatted about them.
Have to say at dd's big chain nursery, where we didn't feel we had such a close relationship with some of the carers, I might have raised it as a concern too. Tbh it was a good one and INSET/convalescents were usually made to do filing or colouring in, in the office. IE away from the care setting.

cheesesarnie · 23/05/2008 10:39

did you tell them your concerns?and did you still leave your dc there?

PinkChick · 23/05/2008 10:39

children over ten are not always counted in ratios (as a cm, i can have as many as i think i can manage(up to 6!) over 8 yr olds!..the child would not be asked to 'look after' the younger children, but she may sit and play with them to pass the time/take her mind off the pain.

I wouldnt have given it a second thought TBH, when dd went to private nursery few years back the manager and ass' manager frequently took their children in obv taking into account the ratios then(they were much younger), i didnt have issue with that either.
One of major points in me being a cma was because i could look after my dd as well.

Original poster

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:41

She is new and I don't know her yet. So this might be part of the prob.

OP posts:

PinkChick · 23/05/2008 10:42

Maybe you've picked up on some kind of negativity from her if you automatically think she'll leave the chidren with the older child?, has she done/said anything to make you doubt her proffesionalism?

Original poster

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:46

I only saw her dd as I was leaving and had given ds a kiss & he'd gone to play. When I saw her dd I said to her was her dd having a day off school as my other children have had these recently but her dd piped up - I'm off school sick!! The childminder went all red in the face & explained her dd had appendicitis. I said wasn't that serious but she said no.

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 23/05/2008 10:47

sorry you did say that already didnt you

Original poster

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 10:50

Don't want to over react as it is a nice place for ds to go & he enjoys it. Reflecting I was surprised appendicitis could be mild & that a 10yr old would be ok at a nursery all day.

OP posts:

mumoftwo37 · 23/05/2008 10:52

I worked in a childcare centre and took DS in when he was recovering from appendicitis (he had had the op). I couldn't take the time off otherwise the centre would have been seriously under ratioed. He was an asset - the kids loved playing with him and we had a new little girl who would only talk to him and it helped her settle in.
I think YABU - I really don't think any nursery would leave her with the children.

PinkChick · 23/05/2008 10:54

i can see why you might have thought she shouldnt be there, id have thought appedicitus mwant hospital asap!, but it seems it can be grumbling and more of an ache, hopefully it doesnt get worse for her.

But only have two in the nursery, im assuming its a private nursery(not school?) as theyd be up the creek if ANY ONE of them called in sick, maybe thats why she felt she had no option?

Original poster

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 11:00

It would be a problem if she wasn't there but I suppose there must be a contingency plan - I'll ask about this.

OP posts:

lisalisa · 23/05/2008 11:07

My concnern would be that if this rumbling appendix became more seroius that - and you have said there are only 2 carers- the mum would need to go off immediately in an ambulance wiht her dd leaving only one staff member in charge.

Original poster

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 11:09

I'll check what would happen in this case.

OP posts:

cory · 23/05/2008 11:18

lisalisa on Fri 23-May-08 11:07:14
"My concnern would be that if this rumbling appendix became more seroius that - and you have said there are only 2 carers- the mum would need to go off immediately in an ambulance wiht her dd leaving only one staff member in charge."

Yes, but if the child had been sent to school, then the Mum would have been called out. If the child had been alone at home (which I hope nobody would do with a child with suspected appendicitis!), she would have had to call her Mum at work. Anyone who employs a parent has to accept that there may be a time when the employee's child becomes acutely ill. There is no solution to this problem except to refuse to employ people with children, which is actually illegal. And hospitals will not keep children in when they are not acutely ill, just to provide the parents with childcare.

My dd is sometimes too bad with joint problems to attend school- she can't sit up without crying with pain. On the other hand, I am the only lecturer in my subject, and if my students miss out on classes they are likely to fail their degrees. I am not happy to leave an immobilised child alone at home when she's in this state, as it may be difficult for her to get out in case of fire. I have been known to bring dd up in a taxi and leave her stretched out at my feet in the lecture hall. Yes, it's not a good solution, but show me a better one and I'll be happy to take it.

Original poster

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 11:52

Sorry to hear about your dd cory

Also don't think anyone is saying not to employ parents - there must be a plan and I'll ask what it is.

OP posts:

cory · 23/05/2008 13:30

I am sure they are legally obliged to have a plan. I know when we started with the childminder, one of the first things she showed us was her cover plan in case one child had an accident and had to be taken to hospital. My point is more that it makes no difference if the accident/sudden illness happens at the nursery or somewhere else; the Mum would still have to come out and the cover plan, whatever it may be, would have to kick in.

kslatts · 23/05/2008 14:07

It's not something your child can catch so I don't really see the problem. Whether or not someone else's child is at school is none of your business.

Original poster

cupsoftea · 23/05/2008 20:19

I asked - and there is a plan also there is a list with all our phone numbers one with back up phone numbers as well. I said nothing about the other childminders dd.

I don't mind that the child with appendicitis isn't at school - just surprised she came to work with her mum. To me if well enough to be out of her home at her mums work then well enough to be at school.

OP posts:

pointydog · 23/05/2008 20:31

if you've got appendicitis, the appendix has to be taken out. Bizarre

struwellpeter · 23/05/2008 21:11

Slightly off your original subject but it is hard to get it right every time re keeping them off v sending to school. I often feel I can't do right for doing wrong as a dc makes a miraculous recovery as soon as I telephone to say he/she won't be in, whilst a slight snuffle turns into an illness of major proportions requiring instant collection from school.

When we spent a year in Australia I went for 'morning tea' with a friend whose son was happily playing at home and not obviously ill. She explained to me that he was having what she called a 'mental health day' by which she meant that she was keeping him at home to give him some tlc as she felt he was in need. He went back to school much happier the next day and I doubt that there was any longterm damage to his education.

Have to admit that I did on occasions take a child with earache to work at a pre-school. She played beautifully with the little ones and was a great favourite of theirs. She also forgot the ears while we were there apparently! That nursery always had an extra member of staff over the legal minimum.

mumeeee · 23/05/2008 23:12

Appendicitis isn't catching. She probably had to have an eye kept on her and her school would not be able to do this. So yea YABU.

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