To be angry at DH for ruining Father’s Day lunch out

[Chelle882]

Myself, DH and our two teenage DC went out for lunch today to celebrate Father’s Day at a local restaurant.

When the food arrived, there was an issue with DH’s meal and he alerted the waitress to this. The waitress told him she’d arrange for this to be re-cooked and it would take 15-20 minutes.

DH asked that they also take the other three meals away so that we’d all be eating at the same time.

The waitress said she’d need to check this with a manager. The manager came over and apologised, said that they wouldn’t be able to re-do the three meals which were fine but they’d deduct the cost of DH’s meal from our bill and also give us a free round of drinks.

DH challenged this and the manager stood firm. Without consulting me, DH said that we would leave and find somewhere else to eat. So we didn’t touch our food and DH settled the bill for the drinks we’d had and we all walked out (much to our hungry DC’s bemusement).

Obviously being Father’s Day, the two other restaurants in close proximity were fully booked until this evening, so we grabbed a KFC drive through on the way home (which doesn’t agree with me so I’ve had stomach cramps for the past three hours!)

DH maintains he was correct to leave the meal and that restaurant’s should not get away with this - we’d ordered to eat together and they failed to deliver this.

For the sake of our DC’s I think he should have just sucked it up and not ruined the lunch.

Do you agree with what he did or would you have just accepted the free meal and got on with it?

I’m a bit torn with this. I’d have definitely accepted the delay and a free meal but actually a lot of restaurants post Covid have become really poor and I think more people should complain so service and quality improves. Getting a steak cooked right is chef basics really and taking 20 minutes to correct isn’t ok.

I wouldn’t have left. He could have had his tantrum outside whilst I enjoyed my meal.

Not wanting to spend loads of money on a meal out that the restaurant said wasn’t up to standard and saying he didn’t want to eat his meal on Father’s Day on his own?

Not that this situation is about whether you find the OP’s husband attractive or not.

Your opinion, you are entitled to it. For me it would ruin the experience and I would not be prepared to pay for it. But you have a different opinion and is fine , being different is ok. All I am saying is to cut the husband some slack this time on this matter as different perceptions and views on here show that is not black and white only, people feel differently about the subject does not mean they are wrong.

Same here, and I’d be waiting for it and making sure the other dishes were kept hot but anything like chips or salad would be redone fresh

Anyone who puts themselves and a steak over their family ( in terms of embarrassment/ inconvenience) seems like a bit of a bellend to me.
Eating out is generally underwhelming, but the point is the social aspect. Being with your family. Being luck enough to have the funds to eat out on father's day.
I think he could have just waited and enjoyed the occasion. Would really annoy me if someone behaved like that.

I'm with DH. I don't spend money at a restaurant and then end up eating by myself. That's a worse experience than eating at home.

The restaurant should have taken back the three other dishes and kept them warm if possible whilst sorting out DH's meal (as others have said - max 10 mins for steak). They could have give you some extra bread/olives/whatever to tide you over.

It was a Father's Day meal and therefore DH's experience was the most important one.

If it had been Mother's Day I would have more sympathy with you - although still think the restaurant should have done more.

Hardly fun sat watching others eat their meal and waiting for yours to come out

A similar thing has happened to me when an ex's meal came with prawns that weren't mentioned on the menu- he's allergic so had to send it back- and I ended up eating alone then he ate alone which was rubbish, so I think it's not unreasonable to want all the meals served together.

That said, a steak not cooked correctly is not the end of the world (unlike going into anaphylactic shock) so in your DH's shoes I'd either have just eaten it or mentioned it and accepted a discount. There was no need for him to go for the nuclear option.

Tend to think that Father's Day is about the kids more than the father (ditto Mother's Day) and he should have let his kids enjoy seeing him enjoy his treat rather than being a dick about it.

Totally agree with this. Prices are higher than ever and service is worse than ever. We aren’t complainers, unless our meals were inedible we probably wouldn’t complain, but we have had plenty of meals out in the last few years where I’ve thought actually we really should complain- it was shit!

He should have sucked it up so his kids could have enjoyed their meal because, you know, he's their father

Ah here, they're teenagers.

If this was a case of ducking out for a quick carvery to be home again for naptime for a baby, I would be saying your dh should have sucked it up. As your kids are teenagers and it was Father's Day, your DH had a reasonable expectation that he might enjoy his dinner too.

What a massive baby he sounds. Like a petulant toddler. So he was happy to waste 3 perfectly good meals? (4 if you count the fact his was actually fine just not cooked how he wanted it - not unsafe). I think it’s pathetic behaviour on his part
I would have stayed to eat mine and the kids meals.

Exactly. Just leave the steak, eat the veg and obviously don't pay. What a prat.

So he wanted them to put 4 plates of food in the bin? For the sake of 20 minutes?
How quick do you all eat? He could have just had his when it arrived. You 3 probably wouldn't have finished. Plus its not like you have to leave as soon as plates are empty.

A free shit steak is still a shit steak.

Having to stuff a good free steak down your throat while three other people sit there watching after just sitting there watching those three people eat their food. That’s not a good experience. That’s not worth a free steak be it a £20 harvester or a £80 steakhouse.

when you eat out what your paying for is the experience because it’s always cheaper to buy the same food and cook it yourself.

From what you've wrote, it sounds as though he asked for the other meals to be taken away, kept warm and then all bought back out together, not that he wanted to have them all re-made, but of course I wasn't there so not sure. I don't think he's selfish for wanting you to all eat together. Imagine if this was mothers day, I'm sure a lot of people would say it's selfish for everyone to eat before the mother has even had her food, leaving her to eat alone

Was he expecting all the meals to be recooked? What an absolute waste of food.

But why to not eat steak? It was the father's day meal, surely he is entitled to steak on an outing for father's day? Why should he watch others eat steak and him go without it and eat vegetables?

I wouldn't enjoy my food if I had to wait 20 minutes then eat it when everyone else had finished/almost finished. I'd probably have just cancelled my part of the order. Or asked if there was something they could rustle up really quickly, even if it's just a bowl of chips.

No, he wanted them kept warm - it’s not an unusual request, it’s a common occurrence if something’s gone wrong - so everyone eats together. Then knock off that main course from the bill.

why the restaurant or pub made a drama out of it is a joke, I’m not surprised he wanted to leave

I'd have just accepted the delayed meal (what was wrong with the original one?).

i'd never leave like that anyway, but utterly ridiculous on an 'occasion' to a) expect perfection & b) expect to get in elsewhere!!

I couldn't stand to be with someone l in e your 'D'H

Omg yes yes he is 'entitiled to steak' but when out with others you compromise. So instead of all leaving just let the others have their food, eat whatever is acceptable and just take the freebies. Be a grown up and put others first, I'd be very unimpressed if my dh acted like such an arse.

Seems mumsnet is full of pushovers, unless it's marital disagreements, where if your husband didn't say good morning to you, you are told to LTB 🤣

At the end of the day, the meal was spoiled regardless of whether the OP's DH accepted the free meal & drinks, or whether he walked out, as while some people might have been happy to accept a free meal and drinks, the event was meant to be about him as a Father. If his meal wasn't right, then he had every right to complain, and asking for the other plates to be taken away too, didn't mean the other's didn't get to eat, simply that they would have all eaten together 15-20 minutes later. To me, it totally spoils the atmosphere if someone has to sit and wait for their meal to be re-cooked, while others sit there stuffing their faces, and then when the unacceptable meal, is eventually returned, the rest of the group, then have to sit there, twiddling their thumbs, while one person eats their meal, and that person always ends up feeling left out, and either leaving half of their meal, or rushing because they feel under pressure. If people are prepared to accept this, then restaurants will continue to serve up sub-standard food, and personally, if I'm paying for a meal to be cooked for me, I expect it to be better than I can achieve at home, otherwise it's simply not worth it. Therefore in my opinion the OP's DH did the right thing.

Wow he’s a prick