To be angry at DH for ruining Father’s Day lunch out

[Chelle882]

Myself, DH and our two teenage DC went out for lunch today to celebrate Father’s Day at a local restaurant.

When the food arrived, there was an issue with DH’s meal and he alerted the waitress to this. The waitress told him she’d arrange for this to be re-cooked and it would take 15-20 minutes.

DH asked that they also take the other three meals away so that we’d all be eating at the same time.

The waitress said she’d need to check this with a manager. The manager came over and apologised, said that they wouldn’t be able to re-do the three meals which were fine but they’d deduct the cost of DH’s meal from our bill and also give us a free round of drinks.

DH challenged this and the manager stood firm. Without consulting me, DH said that we would leave and find somewhere else to eat. So we didn’t touch our food and DH settled the bill for the drinks we’d had and we all walked out (much to our hungry DC’s bemusement).

Obviously being Father’s Day, the two other restaurants in close proximity were fully booked until this evening, so we grabbed a KFC drive through on the way home (which doesn’t agree with me so I’ve had stomach cramps for the past three hours!)

DH maintains he was correct to leave the meal and that restaurant’s should not get away with this - we’d ordered to eat together and they failed to deliver this.

For the sake of our DC’s I think he should have just sucked it up and not ruined the lunch.

Do you agree with what he did or would you have just accepted the free meal and got on with it?

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

theyre teens not little kids though and have probs been taught not to tuck in until everybody as has their food, that’s just good manners

Omg! Embarrassing behaviour. It wouldn’t have taken long for his meal to be sorted and they’d been great to offer a deduction and drinks which is very generous. Makes me sad that so much food was wasted needlessly. I worked in restaurants as a student and would advise to be polite to staff as you never know what they might serve you. Shame the children had to witness poor manners from him. Hope you’re ok. You must feel so disappointed.

Hardly fun leaving the restaurant with no alternative. Much better to chill with a beer, watching your family enjoying a meal and then eat yours when it comes. You’re all still at the table.

I can’t understand why it really matters if you’re all chewing at the same time or not? You can all still just have easy chat and a nice time. Husband ruined it.

I'm sorry but it is not reasonable to expect 3 meals to be completely redone in order for you to eat "together". The idea of going out for a meal is to spend time together not to create stress. Comping the meal and a free round of drinks when the restaurant that is at maximum capacity because of Father's Day is perfectly acceptable to right an admitted mistake, the 20 minutes is not relevant because the restaurant was busy-they can't change the amount of time and staff they have. Creating a whole scene, insisting the kids can't eat meals that are in front of them and dooming all of them to grime fast food is entirely the fault of the unreasonable and controlling Dad, how much you are spending is not relevant, the restaurant can't change the laws of physics.

Well a) he wasn't "forced" to do anything, he had free will throughout and b) he wouldn't have been eating alone. Its not like OP and their dc would have got up and gone home. He would still be eating with his family just they would be finishing their food when he started his.

Have you really never been for a meal where some people eat faster than others or some people have starters/dessert and others don't, or somewhere like wagamamas where food comes whenever it's ready? Why this ridiculous preoccupation with everyone starting and finishing at the exact same time like the gruel scene in Oliver twist?

He's a prick and I wouldn't have gone along with it, fathers day or not. I'd have stayed with the kids and told him to go home.

I think this pretty much sums it up.

Something mildly inconvenient happens, annoying, yes, but he could have sucked it up and enjoyed the meal. At the end of the day once his steak had been cooked again to his specifications you would have all had a nice meal, plus saved some money.

Instead he made everyone have a worse time.

The fact it was for fathers day doesn't excuse him behaving like a princess who deserves to get everything perfect otherwise the day is "ruined" - it actually makes it worse. If he'd just accepted the apology and free meal your kids wouldn't even remember his meal was late in a year or two -would just look back and think "yeah we had a nice meal out with dad." Now instead it will be "remember that time I had my lovely meal taken away and had to walk out of the restaurant hungry with people staring at us, then we all sat in the car eating kfc in an awkward atmosphere because dad had a tantrum?"

Perfect opportunity to teach his DC about making the best of a bad situation, instead he taught them that if something minor goes wrong in a man's life its okay to take it out on everyone else around you and make their day worse too so you're not the only one "suffering."

@Theextraordinaryisintheordinary

what do you mean “what they might serve you?” Do you mean that they might spit in your food? Because that would be a sackable offence and illegal.

He didn't even have to have a sub optimal meal as they had offered to do another steak.

I mean, he has a point. But sometimes, for the general happiness of people involved, you have to do the least disruptive thing even if you feel you'd be justified in making a fuss.

Your husband sounds an absolute delight 🙄

Two things,

Men who make a massive song and dance about how they like their steak cooked are knobs.

Today has made me realise just how deadly seriously people seem to take Father’s Day these days.

How strange and petty and what a waste of food and resources for three people just because of a human error.
Humans cook the food, sometimes they make errors, he was ofdered suitable comoensation then decided to waste all that food, ruin lunch and be petty.
I would hate this

🤣🤣🤣🤣

TBF this was supposed to be for fathers day right? Imagine it was you birthday meal and you were told you'll have to eat your meal after everyone else finishes, and you sit there while everyone enjoys and talks about their meals, it would be depressing and embarrassing. Especially as it's supposed to be 'your' day.

He was probably looking forward to it and spending time as a family. A meal is an experience, especially when it's an occasion.

The restaurant should have made you all the meals again and given a discount so you could have the meal experience you booked and are paying for.

"Just suck it up it's a waste of food" I mean in that case why don't restaurants just serve whatever whenever as long as you don't "waste" food 🤦

Yes, I don’t like this. The staff (who are probably getting paid minimum wage) found a really appropriate solution but your DH still threw a tantrum and put his need to prove a point above your children and you.

Men who feel the need to engage in a power-play with service-staff are a big red-flag for me. If you want respect, then work hard and earn it. Don’t feed your ego by being authoritarian with staff who are not allowed to answer back however unreasonable you are

You don't seem to understand the difference between personal opinion and objective fact.
YOU might find that "depressing and embarrassing"
(Seriously, embarrassing? Why?)
Other people with more going on in their lives and a sense of perspective would find it mildly annoying at most.

I honestly dont understand how people manage to go about their daily lives if the prospect of eating when someone else isn't eating, or vice versa is sufficient to mortify them. You must be living in a state of constant humiliation.

It's happened, regardless of the rights and wrongs of his actions, no changing it and hardly a reason for divorce. Next year, suggest a barbecue or meal at home and he can cook his steak to the standard he requires.

As someone who's worked in hospitality I bet they just loved your DH! Yes, sometimes things get missed, it happens. Just be polite and gracious, no one died! OK so his meal would've arrived a little later than everyone else's but he would get it for free and 4 free drinks, what else could the manager have done to rectify the situation???

What was the kitchen supposed to do with the other three plates of food while the chef cooked his steak a bit longer? Put it under the hot plate to nicely congeal??!

Well it has taken a couple of days but DH has apologised to us and said in hindsight he should have waited for a replacement meal! But stands by his criticism and won’t ever return to the chain again.

BeardOToots. So is a woman who complains about how they like steak in a restaurant a knobs also.Or are you just sexist.