To be angry at DH for ruining Father’s Day lunch out

[Chelle882]

Myself, DH and our two teenage DC went out for lunch today to celebrate Father’s Day at a local restaurant.

When the food arrived, there was an issue with DH’s meal and he alerted the waitress to this. The waitress told him she’d arrange for this to be re-cooked and it would take 15-20 minutes.

DH asked that they also take the other three meals away so that we’d all be eating at the same time.

The waitress said she’d need to check this with a manager. The manager came over and apologised, said that they wouldn’t be able to re-do the three meals which were fine but they’d deduct the cost of DH’s meal from our bill and also give us a free round of drinks.

DH challenged this and the manager stood firm. Without consulting me, DH said that we would leave and find somewhere else to eat. So we didn’t touch our food and DH settled the bill for the drinks we’d had and we all walked out (much to our hungry DC’s bemusement).

Obviously being Father’s Day, the two other restaurants in close proximity were fully booked until this evening, so we grabbed a KFC drive through on the way home (which doesn’t agree with me so I’ve had stomach cramps for the past three hours!)

DH maintains he was correct to leave the meal and that restaurant’s should not get away with this - we’d ordered to eat together and they failed to deliver this.

For the sake of our DC’s I think he should have just sucked it up and not ruined the lunch.

Do you agree with what he did or would you have just accepted the free meal and got on with it?

I’m on team husband. This restaurant sounds terrible.

• For some people getting a free inedible meal is not worth it. It just tastes like resentment and disappointment.

• Getting your meal 20 minutes after everyone else is also not a resolution… you sit and politely wave off everyone to eat and enjoy while you sit there hungry and disappointed, only to have to hurry to eat your meal when it finally comes out.

Why would it take 20 minutes? Is this restaurant not clever enough to expedite his meal that they got wrong?!

• by the time all of the back and forth to get the meal he wanted I’d be fed up too. So would only be annoyed at staying.

Oh yeah…it was supposed to be a treat for him.

Honestly MN is the worst place gauge any type of assertiveness. The average thread here finds people in all sorts of situations which are easily enough resolved by standing up for themselves.

It's not a case of things not going to plan - like getting lost on a day out or it raining when you planned a picnic - which I totally agree can actually end up being more fun than the original plan. This is a case of a professional establishment screwing up and trying to save money by not honouring the one thing they're in business to do. It costs a lot of money to eat out these days, it's a real treat for many people, and I don't think customers should have to "make the best of things". Try telling the French or Italians that when they're eating out.

What was wrong with the steak?

I don’t think he ruined it, I think the restaurant did.

There is nothing wrong with anyone wanting a) what they have ordered and b) to eat at the same time as their family.

the situation the restaurant caused was awkward and unpleasant and presumably not what the intention of booking was. Especially given that DH was the person of honour.

I don’t see what choice they left him to be honest.

He is spot on its manners to wait until everyone has been served before starting your food. The manager should’ve understood that. You went to eat as a group and should’ve been given the opportunity to do so.

I think he had a point. Why should he have to watch you all eat and then eat alone because the restaurant made a mistake, especially on fathers day when the lunch was meant to be for him.

YABU.

I'm a vegetarian, but surely the man was entitled to have his steak cooked the way he liked it on Father's Day of all days?!

I’m looking forward to the Mother’s Day thread where the mum’s meal takes 20 minutes longer than everyone else’s and the rest of the family chows down while she has to sit there and watch…I think the rest of the family would be soundly berated for their rudeness in that case!

A 20 minute wait to recook a steak does sound a bit steep, and I think your DH should have consulted his family before deciding you'd go elsewhere. I guess how much of a fuss I would make would depend on how far off from being correct the order is. Did he ask for the steak rare but it was medium/rare? In that case there's an element of subjectivity, but if he asked for it rare and it was well done (shoe leather) then that's an obvious mistake. Even so he could have been less of a dick and let the rest of his family eat whilst he tried to come to a compromise with the restaurant.

He was unreasonable to ultimately walk out, rather than just make the best of a bad job in the end.

Bur he’s not weird to want the restaurant to keep the other food warm and re-serve it all together (assuming that’s what you would have been happy with, of course).

That’s standard in many restaurants. Not unreasonable to ask, and odd the restaurant wouldn’t do it.

They’d offered a pretty decent discount to make up for it though, so at that point, just accept it and get on with it I think.

I think the restaurant handled it quite well though could have perhaps promised the steak more rapidly. Giving the meal free is standard; giving a round of free drinks is going above.
If he wanted it well and it’s blue then sending it back is ok.. if it’s a difference of medium-well vs medium then this is OTT.
He sounds like a huge baby and this would give me the ick. I’m sorry Father’s Day was spoilt.

Keeping food warm and reserving probably had health implications and they may not wish to do that - plus keeping the ( eg) lasagne hot and the salad cold at the same time would be tricky

does seem a mountain out of a molehill - he was basically getting them to waste 4 dinners because the steak wasn’t to his specification

@BeachRide

yeah that sounds crap

So dragging everyone out and getting a drive through is better than waiting 15 mins?

This for me is the worst part about complaining about a meal. Yes they may re do it but then one person (or people) have to eat theirs first and then later the other person has to eat theirs on their own. It spoils the whole purpose of going out to eat if you can’t eat together.

This, OP!

Give him a break

I'd have sucked it up and stayed, especially since everyone else's food had already arrived. I don't see it as a big problem one person having to wait. You'd be there a couple of hours and most of that time is chatting not eating.

What a fucking baby.

I always have my steak rare, and sometimes I know that I may come out more ‘done’ than how I like it.

Unless I was at a top, expensive steak house that should know what rare steak is, then I would ask for a new one- but if it was a general restaurant I just suck it up and eat it.

He was incredibly selfish. I don’t think I could stay married to someone like this.

I'm totally on your husband's side. It's horrible sitting watching people eat and even worse eating on your own with people waiting on you to finish. Particularly when it's meant to be a treat for him.

I'm amazed at the people that would bend over backwards to eat whatever mush a restaurant would throw at them just to avoid a fuss. You're paying for it, make the fuss!

You said other restaurants were free this evening so why didn't you book a table for later and go for a walk/activity and have a sandwich in the meantime.

I know I’m a minority, but I’m team DH here, especially as it was Father’s Day. If it was one of the kids birthdays or something I’d expect him to suck it up. But it completely ruins the whole point of a meal out together to be eating at different times.

I totally agree with this OP. I appreciate what the restaurant manager tried to do to compensate for the kitchen's error, but their "solution" meant that your DH would have to sit there and watch you and your DC eat, and then you would all have to sit there and watch him eat. That is not a good restaurant experience and given that it was Father's Day, I'd have supported him in his response. (I don't understand why it would take the restaurant a further 20 mins to cook his steak correctly anyway.)

This.

It's a real dick move to make you all leave your meals. Why didn't you stand up to him? I would have said "you're on your own mate if you're leaving!'

On the other hand it shouldn't take 15-20 mins to replace a meal - so I do think the restaurant was at fault too.

No I wouldn’t have gone to the drive thru , I’d have either found another restaurant or gone home and had something delivered . This is a group of teens and adults not babes / small children that might need food at certain times .

I am a bit of a pushover and people pleaser so I wouldn't have walked out but...I would probably wish I would

I agree with your husband. Eating out is expensive and eating separately to my family would not be a nice experience for me, I want us all to eat together, a meal out is a treat and its awkward all eating at different times

Likewise, when you are paying restaurant prices, you shouldn't have to eat something that the restaurant admits isnt up to standard just so you can eat with the rest of the family

nah, service is rubbish and place need to realise a lot of people don’t like eating on their own