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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cut short my trip and return home

28 replies

BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 16:30

I am visiting my family in USA with my two little ones - baby and a toddler.
I am on maternity leave so I planned the stay for 5 weeks but I am here for 2 weeks now and just very bored and desperate to go back home.
Both my kids have got viral fever since last 2 days and I can't think of anything other than being at my home in UK.
My family is trying to help but they are working and I am mostly doing everything around my kids and night waking.
It's going to cost me £400 but I think it's totally worth it.
My DH thinks I should stay and suck it up as I am seeing my family after a long time.
I wanted to visit NYC but it's been hard with the baby naps, feeds etc.
I am thinking of cutting short my trip but DH thinks I should stay. Looking for any suggestions or advice. Thanks

OP posts:
Heritagehog · 15/06/2025 16:32

What is viral fever? If it’s like most minor viruses they should be feeling better in a few days, and while you feel grim right now, by this time next week you might be having a lovely time?

Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 16:33

Also, worried about trip to doctors or hospital as my travel insurance said I need to pay upfront and then claim it, which may not be approved.

OP posts:
Slatterndisgrace · 15/06/2025 16:36

I’d go home I’d I felt I needed to. It’s an entirely a personal decision.

BookArt55 · 15/06/2025 16:36

You can't take two poorly little ones on a place, especially long haul. It isn't fair on the kids. I'd wait it out in the safe environment where you have everything you need. In a couple of days once they are better rethink what you want to do. But at the moment it sounds like an expensive, knee jerk reaction which doesn't prioritise the needs of the kids.
This time next week you coukd be in NY enjoying yourself.

Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 16:36

The reason I planned the trip for this long was because I haven't been able to travel due to pandemic and had my DCs in last 5 years. I haven't visited my family for a very long time.
DH and I have been arguing a lot recently and thought taking a break from him was a good idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 16:38

I am not thinking of going home immediately but end of the week in next 6 days.

OP posts:
nottoplan · 15/06/2025 16:38

If you have £400 to spend on getting home I’m sure you can use it better to help your kids with some medication at the drs , it’s unkind to the dc and other passengers to travel with a viral infection, I am sorry your bored but I think your husbands right , you should stick it out until they are well and able to travel comfortably

Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 16:41

nottoplan · 15/06/2025 16:38

If you have £400 to spend on getting home I’m sure you can use it better to help your kids with some medication at the drs , it’s unkind to the dc and other passengers to travel with a viral infection, I am sorry your bored but I think your husbands right , you should stick it out until they are well and able to travel comfortably

I have taken the kids to doctors. They are well looked after. I am only thinking of taking them home once they have recovered in next 6 days.

OP posts:
Amba1998 · 15/06/2025 16:41

I think you’ll regret it. Baby can nap on the go in a carrier or pram. Get out and do stuff and see things. Make some memories!

Michele09 · 15/06/2025 16:46

You'll end up back home, arguing again and wishing you'd stayed. Will your family not be upset if you go home early? Could they take some holiday to spend with you in turn? Could you do nice things at the weekend?

MissyB1 · 15/06/2025 16:48

Give it a few days before you make a decision. Make some plans for stuff to do with the kids, don't rush home without thinking this through a bit more.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2025 16:48

Why haven’t they taken time off to be with you ?

Bumdrops · 15/06/2025 16:48

You feeling crap cos kids have been unwell, give yourself and them
some time to recover - stay put !

Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 16:57

Michele09 · 15/06/2025 16:46

You'll end up back home, arguing again and wishing you'd stayed. Will your family not be upset if you go home early? Could they take some holiday to spend with you in turn? Could you do nice things at the weekend?

This makes so much sense. Thanks

OP posts:
BeachRide · 15/06/2025 17:05

Your DH doesn't want to help with the children, I guess. Bet he's having a lovely time.

GinnyandGeorgia · 15/06/2025 17:09

BeachRide · 15/06/2025 17:05

Your DH doesn't want to help with the children, I guess. Bet he's having a lovely time.

of course, blame the husband, there's always one 🙄

Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 17:12

LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2025 16:48

Why haven’t they taken time off to be with you ?

They have planned trips for weekends. They don't have lots of holidays to take. We go out in the evening and weekends.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 17:13

It's also my birthday next week which I would want to celebrate with family but I am sleepless right now and feel like to be back in the comfort of my own home.

OP posts:
BeachRide · 15/06/2025 17:23

GinnyandGeorgia · 15/06/2025 17:09

of course, blame the husband, there's always one 🙄

Show quote history

The DH that's arguing so much with the mother of his young children that she feels she'd be happier 6000 miles away from him?

Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 19:34

One of the main reasons I have come here for this long trip is as I was so fed up of DH arguing constantly about my different style of parenting.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 19:37

Btw I have mentioned I have visited the doctor and she thoroughly checked them and said they have viral infection which will take 5-7 days to clear. I am planning for going after 6 days from now if I cut the trip short.
But, I have been exhausted and sleepless and unable to think clearly and my worry is I might regret going back home early as I won't be able to come back for another few years due to other commitments

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/06/2025 19:42

I wouldn’t make any decisions until your kids are better. You sound tired and I’m sure it’s hard being in a different environment.

can you find some ways to treat yourself while they recuperate? I’m guessing lots of naps are happening right now making getting out difficult. So I would be trying to do some of those things you may not be able to do with active and well kids.

Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 19:48

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/06/2025 19:42

I wouldn’t make any decisions until your kids are better. You sound tired and I’m sure it’s hard being in a different environment.

can you find some ways to treat yourself while they recuperate? I’m guessing lots of naps are happening right now making getting out difficult. So I would be trying to do some of those things you may not be able to do with active and well kids.

@saltinesandcoffeecups I am feeling lost. Do you have any ideas?

OP posts:
Original poster
BeKookySheep · 15/06/2025 19:49

Heritagehog · 15/06/2025 16:32

What is viral fever? If it’s like most minor viruses they should be feeling better in a few days, and while you feel grim right now, by this time next week you might be having a lovely time?

@Heritagehog I mean a viral infection causing high fever.

OP posts:
WinSomeandLoseSome · 15/06/2025 19:53

BeachRide · 15/06/2025 17:23

The DH that's arguing so much with the mother of his young children that she feels she'd be happier 6000 miles away from him?

Show quote history

Yes. Odd he isn't bothered about her coming back.

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