My kids are very outgoing/ sociable, want to talk to everyone. Is it because I don’t give them enough attention ?

[supersosh]

my two are 3 and 5 and just aren’t shy. They’re always talking to adults and kids alike.

they have always been like this.

it’s a nice thing for sure, but I don’t know many other kids who are like this. I know maybe one or two, but most kids I see are pretty quiet and a bit shy with strangers.

we have quite a tight knit family and they see grandparents a lot and aunts and uncles.

I have a couple of concerns about it. Firstly, I don’t really think they have stranger danger or understand that not all people are nice and they shouldn’t be over friendly with everyone. This is something I need to work on. Of course we’ve explained you can’t go with strangers etc and they know those principles, but they’re just very friendly with everyone. They know the theory behind not going with strangers, but not sure they’d be ok in practice.

secondly, I worry that somehow we don’t give them enough attention or something and they’re seeking it elsewhere? I know that’s probably silly and mum guilt. We adore them and give them plenty of attention, but you do wonder why they’re like this.

anyway, am I being silly here or is this a problem ?

I've come to ask for parenting tips, as ny two are the complete opposite and I try to model it but even a hello can be a struggle. But then I was the same as a kid.

There's some great books about stranger danger. Otherwise, be proud that you have two confident kids.

You're worried that your kids are articulate and confident?! Sounds like You're doing a fine job to me. I would be far more worried about kids who just stare at you silently when you so much as say hello to them. I assume that they come from introverted families who aren't teaching them essential social skills (not necessarily the 3 year olds, but it is concerning in older children).

I also work on the assumption that confident children are going to find it much easier to say things like "Stop! I don't like that!" or "Hello, can you please help me, that man is scaring me" etc.

Stop the guilt! It’s their personality, fuelled by feeling secure and loved by you and their wider family.

Time to talk about safer adults.

Confidence and sociability are two of the best starts in life, more useful even than wealth or intelligence.

It's the complete opposite of you not paying them enough attention. They are chatty and confident because you've paid them lots of attention.

Just sounds like their natural personality type. It's a positive thing embrace it!

Mine were exactly the same at the same ages, DS1 is just starting to get more self conscious at 9.

I always thought it was a good thing they were confident and sociable.

My kids are 4 and 6 and exactly like this. And sometimes they will insist on a stranger being a best friend and want us to take them home. And they want to go to certain friends' home all the time. Normally I just think they are very sociable. But for the first time this week I questioned whether it's because am so busy with work and they don't get enough attention. I know I should get a better work life balance and work on so many aspects of me as a mum (and as a wife). But I also know deep down that am irrational. They are just sociable

I think my Dd is like this because she IS very confident in my attention and secure in our attachment! At approaching 7 she has a developing sense of danger and who is safe to talk to etc, I dont think she is any more naive than any other 6 year old. We have done a few of Nurtured First (on instagram) courses on body safety etc and that’s helped her express boundaries. My son is the same at 4. We have listened to the Topsy and Tim
story “meet the police” and talked about only talking to adult strangers if I am with him. I love that they will actively enjoy holiday camps, sports teams etc because they are sociable, I was the opposite as a child (and it wasnt because I got a lot of attention!! Rather the opposite!)