Called a "c*nt" in front of his kid over a P&C spot...

[SorryIParkedWrong]

Hi all,
Need a sanity check on an interaction I had yesterday that's still bothering me.
I used a Parent & Child spot yesterday at a quiet retail park. I know, technically wrong, but I was doing a massive haul for a house move and needed the boot space, and loads of other P&C spots were free so I wasn't leaving anyone without.
The issue happened when I got back to my car after shopping. I was in the driver's seat, engine on, and was just about to reverse out and leave.
A car pulled into the P&C space next to me. A woman got out with her young child and. She came right up to my window, which was cracked open, and said in a really aggressive tone, "You shouldn't be parked there."
Not wanting any drama or to explain my point to an emotionally enraged individual, I just said, "Ok," and put the car fully in reverse to leave. That's when she and the dad who appeared completely kicked off. Standing right by my car door, she launched into an absolute tirade.
She was shouting all sorts - "cunt," "fucking little shit," "look at your shit car," "fucking shit driving." All while her own young child stood there watching the whole thing.
I briefly stopped reversing, said through the window "I hope you have a lovely rest of your day," and then started to move again. She and her husband just kept going with the abuse, so I stopped the car again because I was just in disbelief. I looked at her and started laughing at the sheer absurdity and the level of her rage.
I know I shouldn't have used the spot. But AIBU to think her reaction was completely unhinged? Does my minor error give someone the right to hurl that level of personal, nasty abuse at a stranger, especially in front of their own child?
It honestly felt like she was just projecting all her life's problems onto me over a parking space. What do you think?

What nasty people they are can only imagine how they are towards their children when they get angry

so what you parked there no big deal if someone is that bothered just say it’s just not acceptable to talk to people in such a way

Aren't they called the government????

Going to really gping to wind up everyone now, just be kind and considerate to others, do unto others as you would have done to yourself.

Simples

You can’t argue your not ablist when your whole argument is about prioritising those who are able bodied.

if able bodied parents can’t get there able bodied children across a car park safely they need to look at their own parenting!

Hang on, being 'not ablist' is not the same as thinking that disabled people should always get absolute top priority in every situation. It would of course be perfectly reasonable for a shop to conclude that the disabled spots should be the closest to the shop. For all I know that might usually be the case - I haven't really thought to look - but in which case fine. However it might also be reasonable to conclude that the P+C spots go closest, and then the disabled spots. There are valid arguments both ways. I can see you're determined to misconstrue what I'm saying so I think I'll leave you to it.

A disabled person with the cognitive ability of a small child is very unlikely to be driving themselves anywhere
They may however be taken to shops on a regular basis,
My 15 year-old is cognitively around 2/3 can you understand that it's much harder keeping him safe thsn an actual toddler as he's so much bigger and stronger ?

There are no valid arguments that able bodied people need to park closer than disabled people. The only people who would argue that are those who can’t see outside their own little bubble!

What does she want, a medal for opening her legs or something ?

Meh shrug it off and move on. Yes you used a space that wasn't designed for the use that you wanted it for. However she was obviously an absolutely vile woman. Far too many people just want to argue with each other nowadays over the most irrelevant thing. Life is far too short to go round getting pissed off at the slightest thing from other people.

I used one the other day and I do actually have small children. The car next to me gave me absolute daggers as they got out. They were also parked in a P+C space but didn't have any children of their own. They obviously were peed off about something, I don't know them just shrugged and got on with my day. Really wasn't worth more of my brainpower to either ask them what their problem was or dwell on it.

I agree, but despite your best efforts to make it look that way I'm not saying that able bodied people should always get priority over the disabled, who should be made to park in the furthest dingiest recesses of the car park. I'm saying that it might be reasonable to conclude that, although both children (be they able bodied or not), and disabled people should of course be given priority over able bodied adults, it might sometimes be reasonable to conclude that children be afforded the top priority.

Not if they are able bodied children with an able bodied adult. There is no reason at all they need to be prioritised over those with disabilities. In most car parks children aren’t given any priority and yet parents still seem to manage to go out! Somehow though in a supermarket car park too many parents seem to become unable to parent!

It will never be reasonable to think able bodied children should have priority parking over people with disabilities.

I'm not even sure that's what shops are thinking when they plan parking as genuinely I've never been to a single shop or retail park where the P&C spaces are closer than the disabled spaces.

If someone thinks a special parking space is required to help keep their child safe then frankly they are too much of a hazard to drive or have children and should get a goldfish and use public transport.

OTT response, but shouldn’t use a P&C spot tbf.
they sound unhinged

But even if a supermarket does attract the worst parents in the world with kids that are completely off the hook (and I do know a few like that), the supermarket isn't going to just shrug off any car/kid collisions by saying 'Oh well, bad parenting innit? We don't care'. And outset the amazing world of Mumsnetters, whose children always do exactly as they're told, kids do just sometimes do stupid stuff. I'm pretty paranoid about car accidents as I think the general standard of driving is shite. We've drummed road safety into our kids over and over. Yet only last week my daughter ran into the road to pick up a bloody leaf that she liked the look of.

Once again, I'm not saying that this is an argument as to why P+C spaces should automatically be prioritised over disabled ones. It probably is the case that disabled spots should usually get top priority. But it is a factor to be weighed in the balance.

I'll cut c&p your problematic statement again for you and highlight the part that you now seem to be contradicting (back peddling?) now you have been called out on it:

"Disabled people also should be given priority over more able bodied folk. But given they have already managed to get to their car, drive to the shop, are presumably going to walk/wheel a reasonable distance round the shop anyway, and are fully grown compos mentis adults, it's fair enough that they fall below children in the pecking order."

Even if there were lots of spaces when you got there it can change very quickly. I really struggle when there are no p&c spaces as I have a child with autism who has no awareness of danger and isn’t always able to follow instructions. The extra room and being closer to the shop or walkways makes it safer for us. It’s upsetting when people are using the spaces for convenience or to protect their cars. I wouldn’t ever confront anyone, if they are using the spaces with no need they are not likely to be reasonable or decent people.

What I don't think you understand is that disabled parking should be provided by law and P&C places are just a nice thing to have
So disabled parking bays automatically get priority.

This!

Nope. You’re missing the point that disabled parking spaces are protected by law, P&C spaces are a courtesy. Having children is a choice - disability is not. And the priorities for the provision of the two are completely different. For disabled people it’s about being able to park closer to entrances to facilitate mobility issues. It’s also about having a wider space with cross hatching borders, which means better access for getting in and out and retrieving wheelchairs, ramps and other specialist equipment - and the fact that no-one can park so close as to hamper access, as could happen in a standard space.

For parents with children, again it’s about wider spaces to facilitate access - moving prams and negotiating child seats etc, as well as better supervision. There is also the safety issue so P&C bays need to be in quieter parts of the car park, out of the way of the main traffic wherever possible - proximity to the entrance isn’t such a big deal, as safety around traffic is the priority.

Can you not apply for a blue badge. Under the Equality Act you don’t even need a formal diagnosis, as it’s not the disability itself that counts, but the demonstrable effect on everyday life. If you have a blue badge you would then have the choice of the two according to availability and hopefully it would make things easier.

There are no ‘valid arguments each way’. Disabled parking is provided according to the law. It’s protected by law. P&C parking is a concession. I can’t think of a single reason why an able bodied child with an able bodied parent, or a parent with a pushchair would be given priority over someone disabled when it comes to proximity to the entrance.

it’s a good sentiment. Unfortunately all too often it’s case of do unto others before they do it to you !!

Not befuddled at all thanks - disabled from birth and quite aware of the different priorities involved in the placement of disabled spaces and P&C bays. And what makes you think that someone in a wheelchair low down on the ground isn’t just as deserving of a space close to the door as a child, for reasons of ‘visibility’ ? P&C spaces were originally intended to be in quieter parts of car parks, away from faster moving traffic because the priority is the safety of the child. Why would you think it’s any safer nearer the door ?

And this - Disabled people also should be given priority over more able bodied folk. But given they have already managed to get to their car, drive to the shop, are presumably going to walk/wheel a reasonable distance round the shop anyway, and are fully grown compos mentis adults, it's fair enough that they fall below children in the pecking order. is just offensive.

Does it not occur to you that in all of the activities you’ve pointed out here, disabled people have far more barriers, such as pain, exhaustion, difficulty in mobilising, negotiating carrying shopping back to their cars etc, than able bodied children - or adults for that matter ? Society affords them these concessions in recognition of the difficulties involved. And no, not all disabled people are fully ‘compos mentis’. Catch yourself on, your posts are ignorant and ableist.

Despite the law and all guidance saying otherwise. I doubt any service provider will be wanting to try to go to court to argue otherwise. There must be reasonable adjustments for disabled customers. There is no such requirement for children. The guidance says that can include disabled parking bays and that they should be located close to the entrance. Whilst no business must do that, to prioritise a group without protected characteristics over the disabled would be brave indeed. Or stupid.

Disabled people also should be given priority over more able bodied folk. But given they have already managed to get to their car, drive to the shop, are presumably going to walk/wheel a reasonable distance round the shop anyway, and are fully grown compos mentis adults, it's fair enough that they fall below children in the pecking order.
Oddly, I haven't met any children who have driven to the shop, so by your "test" they shouldn't have any parking spaces made available at all.

No - just Olympic medal level ableism !!