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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Called a "c*nt" in front of his kid over a P&C spot...

378 replies

SorryIParkedWrong · 15/06/2025 07:30

Hi all,
Need a sanity check on an interaction I had yesterday that's still bothering me.
I used a Parent & Child spot yesterday at a quiet retail park. I know, technically wrong, but I was doing a massive haul for a house move and needed the boot space, and loads of other P&C spots were free so I wasn't leaving anyone without.
The issue happened when I got back to my car after shopping. I was in the driver's seat, engine on, and was just about to reverse out and leave.
A car pulled into the P&C space next to me. A woman got out with her young child and. She came right up to my window, which was cracked open, and said in a really aggressive tone, "You shouldn't be parked there."
Not wanting any drama or to explain my point to an emotionally enraged individual, I just said, "Ok," and put the car fully in reverse to leave. That's when she and the dad who appeared completely kicked off. Standing right by my car door, she launched into an absolute tirade.
She was shouting all sorts - "cunt," "fucking little shit," "look at your shit car," "fucking shit driving." All while her own young child stood there watching the whole thing.
I briefly stopped reversing, said through the window "I hope you have a lovely rest of your day," and then started to move again. She and her husband just kept going with the abuse, so I stopped the car again because I was just in disbelief. I looked at her and started laughing at the sheer absurdity and the level of her rage.
I know I shouldn't have used the spot. But AIBU to think her reaction was completely unhinged? Does my minor error give someone the right to hurl that level of personal, nasty abuse at a stranger, especially in front of their own child?
It honestly felt like she was just projecting all her life's problems onto me over a parking space. What do you think?

OP posts:
Pollntyme · 15/06/2025 11:15

Megifer · 15/06/2025 11:12

She was suggesting op shop online if op has an issue with parking.

I suggested she could also shop online if she has an issue with parking.

Agreed. I don’t drive and shop online mostly as I hate carrying shopping, but it seems a bit much for someone who presumably doesn’t want to shop online to be asked do so because they parked in a p&c bay when there were plenty other p&c spaces open.

I think if anything that couple would be better shopping online. I can imagine they’re easily angered by many other things too, and clearly have a lack of self control so won’t be afraid to show it. Can you imagine accidentally banging your trolley into theirs lol or parking too close to their car or something.

Iceandfire92 · 15/06/2025 11:17

P&C spaces are not enforceable. Their behaviour was uncivilised and low-class. There were many free spaces and were not impacted whatsoever by OP taking the space. They lost any point that they may have had by behaving in a belligerent manner and swearing in front of their child.

Chiseltip · 15/06/2025 11:19

P&C spaces are a courtesy, they are not law, they aren't disabled spaces. Just u der half of all adults in the UK are parents, almost half the customers of that store would likely have children with them. In contrast, less then five percent of drivers have a disabled badge. Parking in a discretionary P&C space is not comparable to parking in a Disabled space.

There would never be enough P&C spaces available for every parent. And of those that are available, who "should" use them?

A mother with two toddlers who is popping in for some treats and a browse in the clothing Isle?

A mother with a baby, who is popping in to meet her sister for a quick lunch in the supermarket cafe?

A divorced Father who is going to take his six year old to get some new shoes before handing the child over to their mother in the carpark?

Two parents who go shopping with their baby, the Mother realises she needs to pick something up from a shop at the other end of the High Street, so she goes back to her car and leaves her child with their father as it's easier to go alone than take the child out of the store again?

A mother who is looking after a young child, emergency child care for her sister, both agree to meet at the retail park as it's half way between both houses?

A Mother, who is waiting in the car alone, while her husband takes their child to get some new clothes?

When you see an adult alone in a car that is parked in a P&C space, you have no idea what the situation is. You should keep your nose out of other people's business.

OP, those spaces are just there out of politeness, you can park there whenever you want. Being a parent is a choice, being disabled isn't.

Sadmummy3 · 15/06/2025 11:22

SorryIParkedWrong · 15/06/2025 08:04

After the short while of this post, I agree with alot of you. I chose to park there when I shouldn't and laughed at them when I shouldn't, so I am sorry and seriously will not do it again, as I'm able-bodied individual who was in hindsight being lazy and not mindful of other people's necessity of that space I took. Just a little note that having an interaction like that Infront of your child "Will" have long term negative affects on how they perceive conflict and how they will manage it, taking out the frustration in anger is not the way, if the parent approached differently we could of had a constructive conversation, but they chose to insight verbal conflict and project a negative lens onto the interaction. I Hope you all have a lovely rest for your Sunday stay mindful!

Glad you realise you were being unreasonable.
Their reaction was OTT but the interaction won't necessarily affect their child if it was a one off (they might have just been having a really shit day). None of us know how they usually react to conflict.

CiaoMeow · 15/06/2025 11:22

"Your behaviour caused them to go into an out of control rage in front of a child. It shouldn’t have done, but it did.
Take some responsibility for that!"

Are you serious?????

pimplebum · 15/06/2025 11:24

SapphireOpal · 15/06/2025 07:38

It wasn't an "error" though was it? You didn't not realise it was a P&C space - you chose to park there.

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and parking in normal spaces. If I can manage that I'm sure you can manage to drag your trolley full of tat from B&M or whatever a bit further across the car park too.

I certainly wouldn't have shouted obscenities across the car park at you but I can't help feeling a bit, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, about this one.

drag your trolley full of tat from B&M

why can’t we simply disagree with someone without a snide insult ? Anger issues come in all forms - screaming obscenities in front of your child and put downs done anonymously

both completely unnecessary

Nowthatstwice · 15/06/2025 11:24

HunnyPot · 15/06/2025 11:05

You know me well madam

@HunnyPot @GuevarasBeret This exchange was a rollercoaster of joy. Excellent from both of you 10 points to Hufflepuff.

Itiswhysofew · 15/06/2025 11:25

They deserved to be laughed at. So many people think they're entitled to attack.They could've asked the shop owner to be more attentive to parking issues, not vent their anger on a woman on her own.

Rosscameasdoody · 15/06/2025 11:25

HunnyPot · 15/06/2025 11:01

If you don’t want to be called one, don’t behave like one 🤷‍♀️

Ah - one half of said couple has arrived !!

Moonlightexpress · 15/06/2025 11:27

crazysummertan · 15/06/2025 07:47

Parent and child spaces are there for…. Parents and children?

OP didn’t have a child with her? She was parking there with the entitled thoughts of “ I need more boot space “

The post you quoted is correct regardless to how you feel about it morally. The only time this isnt the case is when permits are needed to use such spaces as some shopping centers have .

Megifer · 15/06/2025 11:27

No wonder so many kids are absolute thugs nowadays if some parents think this couples behaviour was justified in any way.

"A woman has done something you don't like Jaiydein-Kai? Give her a mouthful of abuse, she deserves it for upsetting you even though it had no negative effect on you whatsoever"

Rosscameasdoody · 15/06/2025 11:30

Chiseltip · 15/06/2025 11:19

P&C spaces are a courtesy, they are not law, they aren't disabled spaces. Just u der half of all adults in the UK are parents, almost half the customers of that store would likely have children with them. In contrast, less then five percent of drivers have a disabled badge. Parking in a discretionary P&C space is not comparable to parking in a Disabled space.

There would never be enough P&C spaces available for every parent. And of those that are available, who "should" use them?

A mother with two toddlers who is popping in for some treats and a browse in the clothing Isle?

A mother with a baby, who is popping in to meet her sister for a quick lunch in the supermarket cafe?

A divorced Father who is going to take his six year old to get some new shoes before handing the child over to their mother in the carpark?

Two parents who go shopping with their baby, the Mother realises she needs to pick something up from a shop at the other end of the High Street, so she goes back to her car and leaves her child with their father as it's easier to go alone than take the child out of the store again?

A mother who is looking after a young child, emergency child care for her sister, both agree to meet at the retail park as it's half way between both houses?

A Mother, who is waiting in the car alone, while her husband takes their child to get some new clothes?

When you see an adult alone in a car that is parked in a P&C space, you have no idea what the situation is. You should keep your nose out of other people's business.

OP, those spaces are just there out of politeness, you can park there whenever you want. Being a parent is a choice, being disabled isn't.

I agree - and my first thought was that if the couple had arrived after OP had parked up and was returning to her car, how did they know that she didn’t have a child with her originally ? Which is why I don’t think they were the least bit bothered that it was a P&C space - it was simply an excuse to be loud mouthed and rude. And I’ve seen parents parking in a P&C and leaving the child behind in the car - not the purpose for which they were intended, in the same way as someone displaying the blue badge and parking in disabled space, knowing that the disabled person is not leaving the car.

CiaoMeow · 15/06/2025 11:32

Megifer · 15/06/2025 11:27

No wonder so many kids are absolute thugs nowadays if some parents think this couples behaviour was justified in any way.

"A woman has done something you don't like Jaiydein-Kai? Give her a mouthful of abuse, she deserves it for upsetting you even though it had no negative effect on you whatsoever"

Edited

Yes. I am stunned by some of the replies on this thread.

Megifer · 15/06/2025 11:36

CiaoMeow · 15/06/2025 11:32

Yes. I am stunned by some of the replies on this thread.

I think some are just winding people up, the others will be cracking open their first cheap bottle of cider soon so they'll either be too busy to post or they will get even more insane with the justifications 🙄

Viviennemary · 15/06/2025 11:38

You behaved in a selfish way. So accept the consequences if you got more than you bargained for.

x2boys · 15/06/2025 11:40

Viviennemary · 15/06/2025 11:38

You behaved in a selfish way. So accept the consequences if you got more than you bargained for.

Nobody should have to accept a barrage of abuse

pimplebum · 15/06/2025 11:40

Sadmummy3 · 15/06/2025 11:22

Glad you realise you were being unreasonable.
Their reaction was OTT but the interaction won't necessarily affect their child if it was a one off (they might have just been having a really shit day). None of us know how they usually react to conflict.

that level of aggression by both parents is very unlikely to be a one off moment of madness

id put money on that child being known to SS and being concern to his teachers , poor kid
i wish we were able to raise concerns to the authorities via number plate or cctv as I always am left wondering what is going on behind cleaned doors

CiaoMeow · 15/06/2025 11:41

Megifer · 15/06/2025 11:36

I think some are just winding people up, the others will be cracking open their first cheap bottle of cider soon so they'll either be too busy to post or they will get even more insane with the justifications 🙄

Or some of these posters are the same people who reported their neighbours to the police for visiting a relative or sitting on a bench in the pandemic. Dangerous times.

user2848502016 · 15/06/2025 11:41

You were both wrong. Do you really expect to come on here and get people agreeing with you the these were terrible humans when you also did a shitty thing in the first place?! You’re all as bad as eachother. It doesn’t matter if there were plenty of spaces when you got there does it, if you don’t have a young child in a car seat you don’t park in a P&C space

Rosscameasdoody · 15/06/2025 11:42

Viviennemary · 15/06/2025 11:38

You behaved in a selfish way. So accept the consequences if you got more than you bargained for.

So OP returns to her car as another pulls up alongside - presumably also in a P&C space as there were lots available according to OP. The couple then proceed to aggressively challenge her using vile language in front of their own kids, without so much as a second thought that she may have had a child with her originally. The fact that she didn’t is irrelevant, because they couldn’t have known that at the time of the challenge. And you think they were right ? Really ?

SquashedSquid · 15/06/2025 11:42

The amount of people on here that think someone is entitled to an unenforceable, courtesy parking space, simply because they bred, is unbelievable.

Again, ANYONE can park in them if they want to. Anyone. Doing something that most other people do, that isn't bloody hard and is your CHOICE to do, doesn't entitle you to hurl abuse at someone parking where they're allowed to park.

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 15/06/2025 11:43

SorryIParkedWrong · 15/06/2025 08:04

After the short while of this post, I agree with alot of you. I chose to park there when I shouldn't and laughed at them when I shouldn't, so I am sorry and seriously will not do it again, as I'm able-bodied individual who was in hindsight being lazy and not mindful of other people's necessity of that space I took. Just a little note that having an interaction like that Infront of your child "Will" have long term negative affects on how they perceive conflict and how they will manage it, taking out the frustration in anger is not the way, if the parent approached differently we could of had a constructive conversation, but they chose to insight verbal conflict and project a negative lens onto the interaction. I Hope you all have a lovely rest for your Sunday stay mindful!

Honestly, you don’t have the moral high ground here.

Both behaved badly.

PhilippaGeorgiou · 15/06/2025 11:47

The OP was, according to her, so entitled that she thinks parking in a P&C space because she wants to is ok, but is then so very disturbed by the result of that selfish decision that she is still mulling over it a day later? Yeah right. There are certain buttons to push on MN that really work.

Rosscameasdoody · 15/06/2025 11:49

CiaoMeow · 15/06/2025 11:41

Or some of these posters are the same people who reported their neighbours to the police for visiting a relative or sitting on a bench in the pandemic. Dangerous times.

I’ve also seen a fair few threads on disabled parking, where many posters have deemed it perfectly acceptable for non badge holders to park in disabled bays if there are no alternative suitable spaces - these include variously parents with kids, pensioners, pregnant women (with posters advocating that pregnancy should be treated as a disability) and those whose disability doesn’t qualify them for a blue badge. All despite the fact that blue badge spaces are protected by law, and yet here we are advocating for the strict adherence to unenforceable P&C rules to the point where we’re defending a vile couple setting a terrible example to their children.

DiscoBob · 15/06/2025 12:00

They sound very aggressive. But it's the risk you took by knowingly using priority parking when you weren't entitled to.
You held your cool and didn't abuse them back.
But I guess the only way to guarantee you won't deal with that again is not to park there.

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