To just not talk to my neighbours any more?

[VillageMentality]

I live in a village in the countryside. I live in a detached house, and bordering my house and garden are 7 neighbours.

Honestly, I’ve had enough of most of them and I think I’m going to stop being so nice as it’s getting me nowhere.

Neighbour 1&2 are OK because my garden borders 1’s garden and I don’t know who they are. Neighbour 2 is very old, and I never see or hear her.

Neighbour 3 - complains that they can hear us drive over our gravel and it annoys them. They just got a massive aggressive dog, and every time I go in my garden it growls and barks like it wants to kill me.

Neighbour 4 - they don’t like what I’ve put outside my front door. It’s a box for packages to be dropped off. It’s not offending anyone, but they don’t like it.

Neighbour 5 - previous neighbour said my DH threatened her with a chainsaw. He didn’t. Current neighbour won’t secure her fence (I’ve secured my side) and her rabbit keeps coming in my garden. I’ve told her my dog might go for the rabbit. Apparently I should keep my dog in.

Neighbour 6 - absolute petty couple who keep sending letters to council about other neighbours and do spiteful stuff.

Neighbour 7 - sends me messages to tell me when my garden grows 1cm above the fence. Also complains about my BBQ’s and how they don’t like the smell. Again, I live in a detached house, and last year I had 1 BBQ.

I don’t want to move as we love our house. It’s very private, but I just get constant moaning from neighbours over really petty things that I just wouldn’t get my knickers in a twist over.

My DH says to stop bring nice and just start to tell them to get lost.

Would that BU?

I don’t understand how your house is so private yet the neighbours are annoyed by such petty issues.
Neighbour 3 - non issue. You are allowed gravel and should tell them so. Again, if your house is private how near is this aggressive dog that barks and growls whenever you are in the garden? You could report this.
Neighbour 4- they sound unhinged to be complaining about a parcel box . What did they even say? ‘We don’t like that box’? No doubt they are snobs who think a box ruins the country cottagey feel they their ‘community’ is going for. Ignore.
Neighbour 5- remind them that they need to secure their fence and yours is secure so will not be keeping the dog in thanks very much. How did the previous neighbour come up with the chainsaw thing? Did he wave one vaguely near them in a way that could have been considered threatening? Challenge them to tell old neighbour to report to the Police and if they aren’t prepared to do that then current neighbour should shut up about it.
Neighbour 6- difficult to say without more details about petty spitefulness towards you in particular.
Neighbour 7- barbecue is a non issue. What is that is growing 1cm above the fence though?

Middle ground, I'd say - don't be "nice" when they're being CFs, and don't tell them to get lost either. Just state in a very factual and neutral sort of way perfectly reasonable statements, such as "No, I'm not going to remove the box", "No, I'm not going to stop letting my own dog out in my own garden, so if you don't secure your fence, you run the risk of the rabbit being killed", and "No, I'm not going to stop having barbecues, but it won't be more than a few times a year". And, perhaps, "I don't think the sound of people driving over their own grave is unreasonable and the car doesn't levitate so nothing will be changing there". Don't get drawn into arguments - just repeat, "No, I'm not going to do that", and then don't. Reasons are for reasonable people.