To just not talk to my neighbours any more?

[VillageMentality]

I live in a village in the countryside. I live in a detached house, and bordering my house and garden are 7 neighbours.

Honestly, I’ve had enough of most of them and I think I’m going to stop being so nice as it’s getting me nowhere.

Neighbour 1&2 are OK because my garden borders 1’s garden and I don’t know who they are. Neighbour 2 is very old, and I never see or hear her.

Neighbour 3 - complains that they can hear us drive over our gravel and it annoys them. They just got a massive aggressive dog, and every time I go in my garden it growls and barks like it wants to kill me.

Neighbour 4 - they don’t like what I’ve put outside my front door. It’s a box for packages to be dropped off. It’s not offending anyone, but they don’t like it.

Neighbour 5 - previous neighbour said my DH threatened her with a chainsaw. He didn’t. Current neighbour won’t secure her fence (I’ve secured my side) and her rabbit keeps coming in my garden. I’ve told her my dog might go for the rabbit. Apparently I should keep my dog in.

Neighbour 6 - absolute petty couple who keep sending letters to council about other neighbours and do spiteful stuff.

Neighbour 7 - sends me messages to tell me when my garden grows 1cm above the fence. Also complains about my BBQ’s and how they don’t like the smell. Again, I live in a detached house, and last year I had 1 BBQ.

I don’t want to move as we love our house. It’s very private, but I just get constant moaning from neighbours over really petty things that I just wouldn’t get my knickers in a twist over.

My DH says to stop bring nice and just start to tell them to get lost.

Would that BU?

Meaning what, exactly?

Are you suggesting poisoning someone's pet just because the OP claims it's aggressive? Any of us can say that about any dog or any human, it doesn't make it true.

Yup,agree

Suburbia at it's best!
Jeez how do this people find time to moan about such issues have they not heard of the saying 'live and let live'.
We all do things which annoy our neighbours and vice versa so we have to learn to rub along together and find a way to tolerate things we might not wish to but, seriously, some of the things mentioned are just ridiculous and just aren't anybody else's business!

Block them on social media and WhatsApp and don't bother talking to them.

Village mentality can be awful if you’re the outsider that moved in.
They’re best ignored.Stop being nice and accommodating and live your life the way you want to.Tell them to mind their own business if they moan about something you’ve done!

Crikey it sounds like living in misery street! What’s wrong with them all?

How can someone be offended by a bloody parcel box? Is it 10ft tall, bright orange and blocking the pavement or something?

Yes, it might be that one of them started bitching to the others and the others are the type that enjoy having a common enemy, rather than being intelligent enough to make their own mind up about someone.

Invite them all round and start to build a respectful community.

Is there a WhatsApp group you're not on, that they could all be bitching about you on?

My neighbour 1 is quiet and keeps themselves to themselves. Says Hi and thats about it.
My neighbour 2 is behind us, so we don't really see them. They've been good about fence / border issues.
My neighbour 3 is a totally batshit piece of work.

I know I am not the problem with batshit neighbour because she's successfully fallen out with next door but one, the bloke opposite and every builder in about a 20 mile radius. We get on with the bloke opposite and next door but one.

I have to say, if everyone else is the problem, the problem is you.

The unhinged count seems to be really high in villages and ‘idyllic’ rural settings 😟

I’ve lived in Lonfon all my life, including some rough areas. Never had this many issues. Currently in a semi detached on a long suburban street in a fairly bog standard area and I don’t have a single unpleasant, rude, complaining neighbour.

Unfortunately my neighbour is definitely unhinged. She has three or four court cases demonstrating my point.

They walk amoung us, not zombies, although having said that there are a few where I live, "Must mow lawn, must mow lawn" seems to be the mantra.
One man does his [always men] and the rest follow over the next 48 hours.
They are obsessed with it and drop subtle hints about our lawn with is about 2 foot high due to no mow may and an abundance of wild flowers and seeds with is bringing various garden birds, butterflies and bees to feed.
It will be cut when we are ready. But in the meantime the neighbours look on in despair, it's not about them it's for nature, we are pagans so it's important to us to support it.

We're pagan, and we're in a village. We have a wild garden, filled with trees, shrubs, flowers, masses of birds nesting this year, thankfully, but nobody says anything about it being overgrown. Maybe they're all too busy coming on MN to complain about our overly large dog, though, I dunno...

I’ve always found saying “noted” (in person or by message) with a smile is useful way of telling people to fuck off without saying “fuck off”. And make friends with the dog…lob over tennis balls rather than poisoned sausages, as has been suggested.
Personally, I want to be @CoubousAndTourmalet ’s neighbour 😊

Me too. I also want to know what kind of overly large dog they have and a picture too. ☺️

LOL @Tutorpuzzle I really don't think you do - she's not allowed tennis balls either 😆
But we do get along well with all the immediate neighbours, we're very lucky in that respect.

We just smile, wave and mentally think "That's nice now fuck off."

I don't know how people expect to survive normal life is they are disturbed by the noise of gravel crunching. Beyond neurotic.

Don't engage on this. If you give people like this an inch they will hound you endlessly on it.

This honestly is one of the main things which stops me moving out of London. I can't be dealing with having to meet the ridiculous arbitrary standards of some randomer because they happen to have lived in the village longer than me. Fuck that: I'd rather listen to round the clock music than put up with that kind of stickybeakery.

no, i'm suggesting an internationally co-ordinated missile-strike on the offending beast 🤨

Most of them sound properly crazy. What's in the local water?

Could their behaviour be down to jealousy over your home and garden?
You will be paying a high amount of council tax for your house. You are maintaining your house and garden.
If you want to have a BBQ in your garden you are free to do so.
The neighbours sound very very petty. Having a parcel box outside means no neighbours have to take a parcel in for you, so it benefits them. If one neighbour doesn’t like it then she can look the other way when she goes past your house.
You are entitled to enjoy your house, garden and to drive your car up your own drive.
Don’t be drawn into their nasty little comments, don’t tell them to F off. Smile and wave every time you see them as this is the best revenge. If they say anything about BBQs, gravel or other issues, say there are worse things to worry about such as another world war. They are twats, you are not.

I’m hoping our OP is in training for how to ignore her neighbours, starting with this thread! 😀