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To wish i’d known when younger the importance of going into a career with money

356 replies

Watermelonlollies · 14/06/2025 12:34

I don’t remember my parents stressing this to me.

I’m a teacher and used to have an okay lifestyle, got by happily and could have holidays and a few treats here and there.
Life isn’t like that now, as i’m sure it isn’t for many.

I’m not materialistic in any way, but as I’ve got older it’s really dawned on me the importance having money makes and I wish i’d gone down a different path

Does anyone feel the same and do/will any of you be expressing this to your kids?

OP posts:
HawthornWitch · 14/06/2025 14:06

HermioneWeasley · 14/06/2025 13:47

What would you get if you worked until retirement age?

I don’t know and will never know, because I have no intention of returning.

Plotzbluemonday · 14/06/2025 14:06

Watermelonlollies · 14/06/2025 12:34

I don’t remember my parents stressing this to me.

I’m a teacher and used to have an okay lifestyle, got by happily and could have holidays and a few treats here and there.
Life isn’t like that now, as i’m sure it isn’t for many.

I’m not materialistic in any way, but as I’ve got older it’s really dawned on me the importance having money makes and I wish i’d gone down a different path

Does anyone feel the same and do/will any of you be expressing this to your kids?

.
Teachers can progress to leadership with higher earnings potential
teachers can moonlight doing tutoring online

Teachers can do other jobs during holidays to earn more money

Teachers can save money and invest.

TiredMame · 14/06/2025 14:08

my parents were against many career choices, one being a teacher for this reason. In fact it was always pushed on us doctor, lawyer, finance/banking, engineering and the like. I envied those whose parents encouraged the ‘do what makes you happy’.
now I’m very grateful!

MalcolmMoo · 14/06/2025 14:09

I kinda get this. My parents were very pushy for me to do well at school and go to university and have a career where I earned lots. I’m a qualified actuary now. But I’ve had a lot of mental health struggles along the way which is primarily down to my parents pushing me to much to excel at everything so I don’t think it’s so black and white.

TheZingyFish · 14/06/2025 14:09

Ficklebricks · 14/06/2025 12:48

Teaching used to be a very well paid profession. My sister graduated in the 90s/early 00s and she got a government grant to do the teaching course, all paid for with no debt. She then pursued every promotion she could for extra money (I'm not exactly sure of her role but she ended up head of department or a senior leader I think?)

Her pension is excellent compared to mine. I think you are being unreasonable to say teaching isn't well paid. Are teachers paid enough for what they do? Absolutely not, but then most of us aren't in nearly all sectors. But teaching is much more financially beneficial than shop work, cleaning or care work for example. Sure you're not going to buy a yacht but it's hardly minimum wage.

And this is exactly why teachers are so poorly treated in society.

Teachers will have a degree and the vast majority will have a post graduate degree but hey, they should be grateful they earn more than someone who does a job that can need little qualifications. Would you want your child being taught by someone without qualifications?

I have full respect for retail workers, cleaners and care workers, but you wouldn’t compare a surgeon’s or barrister’s salary to a cleaner so why this comparison?

No wonder teachers are leaving in droves if this is how they are seen! Next you’ll be saying teachers only work 9-3!

RepairCafeMensShed · 14/06/2025 14:11

Ref money

I believe that the average UK wage is approx 30k

You have not stated

What your salary is
What contributions your employer pays into your pension
What contributions you pay into a private pension
I presume that you would be paid sick pay

You have lots of holidays off work

You have an opportunity to earn extra outside work by tutoring or child minding

-

I know people that probably earn more than you, but they work

12 hour shifts on a 24x7x365 rolling rota, including nights & bank holidays
Get paid to be on call
Health & safety & deadline compliances
Investigations when things do not go to plan

Do you want to swap to this sort of lifestyle ?

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 14/06/2025 14:12

Charlottejbt · 14/06/2025 12:53

If you weren't educated about money and careers (I wasn't either) then you're probably working class. This means your face would never have fit in the world of investment banking, management consultancy, etc, so teaching is probably the best career that an average person of your age and background could have had. I agree it would have been nice to be forewarned, but we didn't know until too late that the goalposts had been moved and that you would no longer be able to live a nice life on a lower middle class income.

Wouldn’t being working class (or at least from a background that meant being quite familiar with financial scarcity, which isn’t the same as being WC) lead to automatically recognising the value of money?

I grew up with up seeing my mother struggle (financially) whilst also witnessing how my father had a very comfortable life as a solicitor. And I knew which life I wanted for myself. Even as a young teen…🤷‍♀️

Isdinnerreadyyet · 14/06/2025 14:12

KPPlumbing · 14/06/2025 13:42

Not to derail, but in a similar vein to "Just do what you love", is the often equally bad advice to "Just marry a man who loves you". Erm, no. I want them to tick a number of practical boxes too, such as being hard working, sensible, good with their finances, share my core values, be resilient and so on.

Edited

I just married the man who I came to love & fancied the pants off. I still love him &, after nearly 40 years, I still fancy the pants off him. We met when I was 21.

However if he'd been some alcohol dependent, druggie no-hoper I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place.

He had a good steady job, his own <newish> car & took me out for dinners, drinks etc & always was prepared to pay, although I always insisted on going Dutch.

He respected me, we could (and still do) talk about music, politics, films whatever. We have a similar philosophy to life, the same attitude to life, the same ambitions & generally found that we have a lot in common.

It still rankles with him that I made him wait for 4 months before we had sex. 😂But, as I say, when we did - BOY was it the best?! He can't argue with that.

Stripybasket · 14/06/2025 14:12

Op I feel exactly the same! My parents were total hippies and I wish that someone had drilled it into me that having a high paying salary is a good thing! I feel stuck in the profession and with 3 small children I have no hope of retraining any time soon. No advice just solidarity!

Muffinmam · 14/06/2025 14:14

No one ever told me my best chance in life would be to marry well and a way to achieve that would be to go to university to meet a man.

Just because you study in a field that can lead to a lot of money does not mean that you will ever get there. I have a sibling who is highly educated who hides her qualifications because they are an impediment to promotion.

I have an uncle who earns over a million a year plus bonuses. The person who is living their best life is his wife who doesn’t have to work, doesn’t have to clean and spends her time travelling and doing what she wants.

I have a cousin who posts photos of her house in the Hamptons and pictures of he on Lake Como loving her best life.

I was never told to marry for money and if I knew it was an option I would have done so.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 14/06/2025 14:16

Muffinmam · 14/06/2025 14:14

No one ever told me my best chance in life would be to marry well and a way to achieve that would be to go to university to meet a man.

Just because you study in a field that can lead to a lot of money does not mean that you will ever get there. I have a sibling who is highly educated who hides her qualifications because they are an impediment to promotion.

I have an uncle who earns over a million a year plus bonuses. The person who is living their best life is his wife who doesn’t have to work, doesn’t have to clean and spends her time travelling and doing what she wants.

I have a cousin who posts photos of her house in the Hamptons and pictures of he on Lake Como loving her best life.

I was never told to marry for money and if I knew it was an option I would have done so.

Why do you have to be told things? You make your own decisions in life? The people I know who have married what you would call, well, also had good jobs themselves, before they jointly agreed one would be at home for the DC. It’s not either/or?

Lalalalaland25 · 14/06/2025 14:18

The average teacher salary in the UK is £51k plus 28% pension and 13 weeks holiday.

A lot of people would be happy with that!!!

Angrymum22 · 14/06/2025 14:19

My DM wanted to do A levels and go to uni to study medicine but her family prioritised the education of her younger brothers, neither of whom went on to higher education. She left school at 16 and became a nurse then midwife. After having children an a spell as a SAHM ( had 3 children in 4 yrs), she returned to work initially as a TA to accommodate family life, then returned to nursing, specialising in diabetes ( specialist nurse practitioner in today’s system).

She was determined that if she had daughters , she had 3, that they would not be denied an education. We didn’t disappoint and two of us are HCP, the third had 2 degrees and a PhD.

I chose a career in dentistry because it involved practical skills and was more 9-5 than medicine. I’d done my homework and realised, back in the early 80s, that was very difficult to have both a family and a career in medicine as a women. Obviously it’s different now.

I entered the profession just as things were improving, a decent maternity scheme meant that having a family and career was much easier. I had my own practice, although that wasn’t my ambition, more a case of it being an opportunity presented early in my career.

I stuck with the NHS and was able to retire at 60 with a decent pension in addition to selling my business. I worked part time when DC was young only returning to full time when he was in his teens.

We have always been comfortable financially but not overly wealthy. Life work balance was more important than material wealth. But it does mean that as a result we are probably now more comfortable now I have retired than when I was working. I still work one day a week, DS is at uni so it covers the cost. I now work on the private side, I’ve paid my dues to the NHS, and one day a week more or less doubles our household income.

I sometimes wonder if I should have moved to the private side earlier, but have always been a supporter of NHS dentistry. However, some nice our contract changed in 2006 NHS dentistry is no longer fit for purpose and I could no longer support it. I feel I am providing a much better standard of care privately, I can spend time with patients and it allows me to work at a more realistic rate. I suspect that this is the same across the NHS. The system of targets in place within NHS is damaging and it’s becoming a massive problem. It’s not about how much we are paid but much more about no longer feeling safe in our provision of health care. So much money is wasted on litigation when it could be used to give those vital few minutes more with a patient to avoid it in the first few lace.

I do nt remember my generation of dentists being motivated by money. The training was brutal and certainly weeded out those who didn’t have a fundamental vocation or practical skills. However, the massive competition to enter the profession has seen a big change. It does seem to be a career focused on material gain rather than patients. It is obvious from the huge increase in service cases ( dentists in serious trouble with the GDC) that money is now the driving force in the profession.

I did, and still do wave fees when I think they are disproportionate to the service I provide. For example charging someone extra to remove a single fragment of tartar and calling it a scale and polish is difficult to justify. I know plenty of younger dentists who are happy to do this. Maybe this is why I’m not super rich. However, it’s upsetting when I’ve spent an hour restoring a tooth with top quality materials, and achieving amazing cosmetic results for the patient to moan about the cost.

totalrocket · 14/06/2025 14:22

Great pension? 😬

SendBooksAndTea · 14/06/2025 14:22

Lalalalaland25 · 14/06/2025 14:18

The average teacher salary in the UK is £51k plus 28% pension and 13 weeks holiday.

A lot of people would be happy with that!!!

Just a note - teachers are paid for 5 and a bit weeks holiday, the rest is unpaid, the salary is just spread evenly over the 12 months.

Charlottejbt · 14/06/2025 14:25

@PumpkinsAndCoconuts
Wouldn’t being working class (or at least from a background that meant being quite familiar with financial scarcity, which isn’t the same as being WC) lead to automatically recognising the value of money?

Yes, of course. But wanting money in an unfocused way is not the same thing as knowing how to go about getting it. That's one thing that's easier in the internet age, even though life overall is harder than it was when I left university (26 years ago this month).

I think my parents weren't anywhere near WC enough to know about playing the system to get a council house etc. (still a thing in those days) but certainly nowhere near MC enough to know about networking, CV points, internships, and how things generally worked in the professional classes. As far as hitting the class ceiling at Oxbridge or applying to city firms who recruit there, it makes no difference whether you're WC or LMC. You've either been to public school or you haven't.

Cantabulous · 14/06/2025 14:26

My parents told me nothing about careers as they didn’t think women should need one (I’m 62)! But they did support my interests and one of those was finance, so kind of by accident I fell into a finance profession and have done well and still really enjoy it.

my XH was also in finance and HATED it. He carried on out of obstinacy, and to compete with me, but the DC knew full well how very unhappy he was. So they have all gone into careers on the basis of what means something to them. They don’t blame either of us, they made their own decisions.

OldChinaJug · 14/06/2025 14:27

SendBooksAndTea · 14/06/2025 14:22

Just a note - teachers are paid for 5 and a bit weeks holiday, the rest is unpaid, the salary is just spread evenly over the 12 months.

And the average salary is around £37,500.

OofyProsser2 · 14/06/2025 14:28

I don’t think of teaching as low paid at all, taking account of all the benefits.

I also think you have to compare like with like. No use looking at incredibly successful people in high paying professions and assuming that’s the norm. The top achievers earn a lot (just as they do in teaching- haven’t seen Simon Henderson down the food bank). But even in high paying professions plenty of people aren’t earning mega bucks- lawyers on £30-40k etc, which is a similar salary to teaching without all the benefits.

StretchyPants1988 · 14/06/2025 14:29

I'm a child of very poor immigrants from Eastern Europe. Everything was about getting a job that makes good money when I was growing up. They drilled the importance of school, hard work AND money into me. At the detriment of hobbies, sports and things to enjoy....

My in laws (English) were/are the total opposite and all their kids are either civil servants or artists and now in our 30/40s are really struggling, while me and DH have an excellent lifestyle because of my money and career. They had much nicer first 30 years of life than I did though. It's all swings and roundabouts and no one can get it right.

Navigatinglife100 · 14/06/2025 14:30

My grandfather taught me a lot. He hardly left the village. He had an owned home on a beach slipway. Lived for his family, fishing and tripping and spent most of his days on the beach, and working. His income, along with taking in guests in the summer with Nan, was sufficient and he later lived on only a basic state pension. He was the happiest person I have ever known. That's not to say I should replicate it exactly, and we do live in more expensive times, but there is a huge lesson in there about opening our eyes not our purses.

DrCoconut · 14/06/2025 14:31

When I was growing up teaching was considered a good solid career. People encouraged their kids to become teachers. Now everything is so expensive and pay just hasn't kept up. The hourly rate, if worked out, for teaching at college is fairly close to the minimum wage now whereas it used to be almost 3x minimum wage. The most I can earn without taking on management duties is £34k. An inflation counter tells me that the salary I had coming in 20 years ago would be around £50k now. That is a significant drop in lifestyle.

MistYou · 14/06/2025 14:35

I come from immigrant parents. They never uttered the words, ‘do what you want as long as you are happy’! And none of their friends did either. It was very much an immigrant work ethic to work very hard and get a professional degree and career. I never knew there was any other option.

I have no regrets and I’m glad I have my profession, stressful though it has been at times. I’m in my 50s now and the kids are at university. I have not pushed them in the same way. None of them are doing professional degrees. However, they know that a job is not just about loving it and being happy. They both want to earn enough money to live on but also seek careers where there is enough potential for career progression and salary increases.

In my view a job is not just about being happy. Income and financial stability matter. Especially when the going gets tough.

Charlottejbt · 14/06/2025 14:37

@Navigatinglife100 Your grandad reminds me of the happy fisherman in Heinrich Böll's Anekdote zur Senkung der Arbeitsmoral (had to look that one up, German A level was a long time ago!)

Bellyblueboy · 14/06/2025 14:38

I used to give career talks at university - my old lecturer asked me to come back a few times for this talk after I graduated.

I remember being criticized by the lecturer and some student for talking about money. I did a poll of about twenty people from my graduating class and gave a rough idea to the students of career paths, salary and packages and working conditions (hours, pressure, pensions etc).

apparently I was materialistic😂.

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