To wish i’d known when younger the importance of going into a career with money

[Watermelonlollies]

I don’t remember my parents stressing this to me.

I’m a teacher and used to have an okay lifestyle, got by happily and could have holidays and a few treats here and there.
Life isn’t like that now, as i’m sure it isn’t for many.

I’m not materialistic in any way, but as I’ve got older it’s really dawned on me the importance having money makes and I wish i’d gone down a different path

Does anyone feel the same and do/will any of you be expressing this to your kids?

Yes also agree with this 😊 maybe we have just lost the idealism of youth.

don’t remember my parents stressing this to me.

I'm not sure this is on your parents to be honest.

When they were working, teaching probably was a decent job to have with a salary that would have paid for most things you needed.

Kind of agree, OP. Although my Mum (a teacher) did say ‘whatever you do, don’t go into teaching’. I went into engineering/tech because I was good at it, don’t remember considering the money.

It’s not true that all lucrative jobs are mega stressful though. DH earns stupid money, does not do long hours and is usually less stressed than me.

Spot on.

What would you get if you worked until retirement age?

Thanks for the kind words! I think that in those days, if you didn't have contacts, it was very easy to end up in an impasse. So what you say about finding alternative routes to the top was certainly true, but if circumstances forced you back to your small home town and to £3.50 p/h retail work, you wouldn't have found out about other options until forums like this one came along, and by then you'd have been an underemployed 30 + year old in a houseshare and the career advancement ship might have sailed. My DSIL grew up in London and she eventually managed to move from the reception desk to a six figure job in financial services, which totally bears out what you said - she hasn't got a degree, but followed a path where that made no difference. Perhaps the London versus provinces divide was as important as the class divide in determining outcome for my generation, I don't know.

I think you're right about Oxbridge not meaning much any more. I was upset when DD turned down an offer to read MFL at a prestigious medieval university in Europe in favour of a law degree at a crappy local university, but it probably made sense in career terms. In fact she's about to intern with a relative who made a similar choice and is now a partner. Like the OP, I wish I 'd known in my teens and early 20s what I know in my late 40s, but what's done is done!

This too. People with ADHD find it hard to visualise the future till it smacks them in the face!
I did ok academically but have always struggled with the stress of full time work, not understanding why for most of my life.

Balance is key. You can have all the money in the world, and while it undoubtedly makes life easier, if you're unfulfilled/miserable/stressed/burned out from earning it, you'll never enjoy spending it.

I know people who earn a lot less than me who love the lack of pressure/responsibility and are happy to sacrifice luxuries for that lifestyle. I know people who earn more than me who are stressed and miserable.

I am a social worker and so am not well off. Public sector pay is low, but the benefits ( pension, sick pay etc) are not too bad.
What I wish I had known, and what I would like to pass on is that it isn't all about wages or earning more / having more. There are two routes to having 'enough' on your own terms, whatever that means to you. So you could earn more, or you could make conscious choices ( very much against the grain of the very fabric of our culture) to expect and consume less.
I have had to go for the latter. I can't afford new clothes or foreign holidays. But I do feel that I do a worthwhile job, and have space for other things other than work .
Aside from the cost of living crisis we do all live in a world where money = success and there is more beyond that hopefully.

My parents just told me to do something I liked, but there wasn’t any practical advice really. I’ve done all sorts of things for work, and mainly, rather than financial advice, I wish I’d had the confidence when younger to think of myself as bright and push myself forward as relentlessly as I see the young people I work with now doing. It’s only in middle age that I have clocked on to how much more I could be earning if I’d had a lot less self doubt.
As for my kids, I don’t need to tell them to earn lots, it’s their main focus. I try to temper it with the idea that being an asset to society in some way is aIso worthwhile.

And people who have only worked in schools have no idea about the pressures arising in other jobs. It cuts both ways.

I have said to my DC from an early age that they need to consider what lifestyle they want to have, and work back from there. No point choosing to become a civil servant if the salary that commands will always leave you feeling fundamentally unsatisfied.

There are many things that are enjoyable and can be enjoyable life long but for most people, as hobbies or side interests rather than careers. For me Art and Music come into this bracket. We love both, but to choose to pursue a career in it would require a very robust plan B.

I don’t believe careers for life will apply to many people going forward, so being aware of how you can upskill, thinking laterally about possible next steps, and identifying where your strengths lie are also crucial I think.

Yeah I can understand that, everything would be much harder on one salary as a single parent.

I've had a range of experiences personally so feel able to comment. The point is that teachers are paid far, far less for a job that is at least as stressful as the type you are talking about.

@BadAmbassador I can relate to the ADHD traits making future planning harder. It's currently an issue for DS as well.
@flowertoday My life has been better since I embraced your philosophy. I'm never going to have a career, but relocating to a lower COL area abroad has at least made it possible to own a home and get by on bits and pieces of low paid work. I hope my DC will do better though.

I stressed this to my DC - especially choosing Uni courses that led somewhere so looking beyond the 3/4 years and seeing what graduates did and did they get jobs relevant to their degrees / that they needed degrees for.
IMI too many parents see their DC at University as the end goal but this is wrong.
So my DS did a degree that led to a specific job at the end of it (not teaching!) and was able to buy somewhere (with his GF who didn’t go to Uni) at the age of 22!
Whilst DD is doing an apprenticeship.

@Charlottejbt sorry I think your post is quiet patronising, anyone from any social class can fit into any role you don’t need to be well off to make your way into investment banking or any high paying career. I know several people on £100-150k plus jobs from working class backgrounds, same as I know people from well off families who became teachers or civil servants.

What sort of jobs am I talking about? Have you ever worked in an investment bank or magic circle law firm?

As I have said, DD is a secondary teacher. She is not working 60 hour weeks week in/week out. Perhaps during Ofsted week or at marking pinch points but even then I think it's topped 50. Schemes of work usually need a refresh rather than a rewrite, although I know she put her all into prepping for a couple of set texts which were new for this year - but they will not have to be rewritten for a year or three.

I will be encouraging my children to choose a career focused degree that has potential to earn good money, invest, get property and then focus on your passion.

Of course anyone from any background could theoretically fit into any role. The problem is getting past the gatekeepers, who tend to be privately educated males who hire in their own image.

No point shooting the messenger.

What my DC got was really good careers advice complete with psychometric testing and indicators relating to their strengths and weaknesses. Neither were pointed towards teaching but it's what they are both doing.

It’s difficult. I want my children to be happy. I look at the high earners around me and I don’t think they are 90% of the time. I am sure they are in the 10% of time when they can spend that money 😂

So I don’t know. It’s really hard to get this right. And with AI around the corner. I am pretty sure most professional jobs as we know them will be lower paid and harder to get.

But yes money can help happiness too. Nightmare.

I just left teaching after 10 years.

I choose teaching because I was willing to accept slightly less money for a more interesting job and more personal fulfilment. But the state of teaching in the UK meant 'personal fulfilment' was nowhere to be seen. I left at Christmas and am now training to be an accountant.

I'd have been willing to accept less money as a teacher for a job I loved. But I couldn't love teaching the way it is now, and I wasn't going to sacrifice my quality of life for a job where I put far more in than I got out.

I don’t think your parents could have predicted the economic environment you or the country would be facing at a circa 30yr old, so I think YABU.

What industry did your dad work in? Could his salary have supported a SAHM now?

Yes I have. The simple fact is that teaching is paid abominably for what it entails and requires of people, whilst those types of job are not.