Poorly dad and poorly dog

[CatsangDogs]

Hi, I'm just posting in the hope of some constructive ideas and hopefully no criticism dad vs dog. I just found out my dad 86 has cancer and due to the cancer being in 2 places and his age they can't offer any treatment. I also have my beloved dog who is 16 and having lots of accidents but more so is used to me being in the house all the time, she has for the past 5/6 months followed me even if I just get up to go in the kitchen, the loo, putting washing out just basically everywhere. She hasn't been too well lately and the thought of leaving her home alone is bloody awful. For a little bit of context to get to my dads as I have to use public transport is an hour and a half there and an hour and a half back, possibly longer if any delays. I then obviously want to spend time sitting with dad for a few hours which makes for a really long day fro the dog I can't take her with me as she has trouble walking now. I don't know neighbours as new to area, I'm on benefits so getting taxis or a dog sitter isn't in my budget. Please if your thinking it's my dad and my dog is just a dog just keep it to yourself, believe me this is already breaking my heart in two I guess I'm just hoping and praying someone will have any ideas, I'm open to anything. Please don't think badly of me I'm just in an awful position. Thanks in advance for any help.

I don't have any solutions but just wanted to say how sorry I am. I'm sure some will not understand the importance of a dog at any time, let alone when you are struggling with your dad. I hope you can find a way to make it work.

Thank you replying, I know there is probably no solution and your probably right about people not understanding, I guess I'm just hoping most will. Tbh if I get negative comments I will just remove my post as already in a mess.

Does your dad have any extra finances? How about you go there, and you two come to yours in a taxi he pays and same later in the day?

So sorry to hear about your poor df and ddog. I think a lot of people put off having their pts. If she's suffering please think about it, I know it's heartbreaking but often is the kindest thing to do 💔

Hi @vivainsomnia my dad is housebound and he only has his pension that isn't a great deal, so I'm kind of stuck there, maybe it is something I'll have to think about sooner rather than later.

Flowers to you, and a special bone for dog.

What about a dog pram so she can come with you? Most sites will do 0% interest payment plans

Hi @heidyho I just had her at the vets last week and was given pain relief that has perked her up a little and I was worried they were going to mention her quality of life but they think other than her peeing and her arthritis she is doing ok, thanks x

Sorry to hear. It's so hard when you are pulled in different directions like this. Could you and the dog go and stay with him a few days or him come and stay with you for a bit? Do you have other priorities as well? Not sure there are any easy answers here

Thank you @GrouachMacbeth for your kindness x

How big is the dog? A dog pram could be a good answer, you may be able to borrow one or get second hand?

Hi @Runkle I genuinely hadn't thought of that, a really good idea x

possibly a dog pram like a pp suggested and maybe go and stay for a few days at a time rather than there and back and an airbed in sitting room if not much space.

What’s your work schedule like?

Hi @Sparrow7 I have a son who works full time and a cat. So i'm still stuck regarding my dog. Thanks x

Various PPs are suggesting to take the dog/go and stay ... Logistically much better, but if she is having accidents, might not work in the dad's house!

Hi @Tiredofwhataboutery I don't work which is fortunate so it's something to think about tahnks.

Does your Dad claim attendance allowance? I think these things can be rushed through under the circumstances. Maybe he could use that to help with transport. I’d suggest carers allowance but I think that’s deducted from any other benefit award so may be no better off.

Hi @Datafan55 yes not sure about the accidents, I'd have to see what my dad thinks

Hi @Tiredofwhataboutery i'd not heard of that but I will look into it.

Depends on flooring, space, and if you can for example contain the dog/put puppy pads or something down. Plus if will be a strange space for her...

Well that's good news from the vet but I think given her age it may be downhill from here. Also you may need to think about carers for your Dad as you won't be able to look after him yourself solely. So sorry you are having such an awful time. Take time to look after yourself too ❤️

What about a dog carrier and/or pushchair?

I'm not sure how she would feel about a new place, it may unsettle her more.

Sorry if it's already been mentioned but could you try Borrow My Doggy?

https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/

It's free, and there might be someone on there who would happily sit and have cuddles with an older dog whilst you're out taking care of your Dad.

I recently saw on my local Facebook Noticeboard someone who was going into hospital, they were new to the area and didn't know what to do with their dog - people were really keen to help and he found several people who were very happy to look after the dog.

I'm so sorry about the tricky situation you're in OP.

I’ve no additional ideas but just to say that I totally understand you not wanting to leave your dog who will be confused at your absence. I hope you are able to find a way through this.