DH not backing me over FIL argument(s)

[HudsJess]

I’ve always disproved of some comments made by my FIL, however since having DC I’ve been more aware of these. He initially managed to avoid saying anything too incriminating around them but in recent months he has not had such restraint and I have challenged it directly myself.

After the latest incident two days ago, DH is refusing to back me up and we’ve had a huge row about it. I don’t want our children around someone who makes such comments so openly, and DH says his father is who he is and it’s pointless trying to suppress his opinions. It’s not about that though - my issue is he openly speaks about them in front of my DC.

Latest examples, paraphrased from what I remember -

‘just checked the forecast, blue sky and no wind. There’ll be hundreds across the channel today, all housed at our expense’

’have you seen Lineker’s replacements on match of the day? Bloody women. What on earth do they know about the offside rule’

’that presenter is useless. They are only in the job because they’ve dropped their knickers to get it’

My point is - DH should have a frank conversation to make it clear this is unacceptable.

I wouldn't be able to stop myself from challenging him myself.

Your husband's response to a situation in which you told FIL to stop spouting racist or misogynistic rubbish would be very illustrative in the event.

Alternatively, I would speak to my children and say something along the lines of " Grandad is being nasty and silly again so let's go somewhere else now ". A different room, the garden, local park, anywhere. Vote with your feet and leave your DH to entertain his dad on his own.

So? Plenty of sports presenters comment on sports they have not played. Why does it become annoying when it’s women commenting on men’s football?

But that’s why Lineker and Shearer are good in this role. They’ve been there. Having said that I listened to the Sinner/Alcaraz match on Sunday and Annabel Croft gave an excellent summary. The thing is it’s meant to be entertainment so if people are irritated they’re allowed to be.

I voted Yanbu because I agree we don’t want children to hear these comments.

But that’s because I agree with you. However many people do have these opinions and will speak in front of their own children about them. I think what we need to do is arm our young people with better skills and understanding and to be able to challenge these opinions themselves if they don’t agree.

How is his comment about increased channel crossings in good weather ill-educated? By the way, I am sure Nigel Farage knows that word is hyphenated!

Comes across as xenophobic and dehumanising.

I’m of the generation of people who would speak like this and l think his comments are unacceptable.

They are allowed to be annoyed and I am allowed to call out their misogyny.