But there are two people in a couple and there’s also responsibility to not simply accept the ‘wife’ role if you don’t want to give up your own work and be at home doing all the domestic stuff to facilitate Mr high flyer.
Dh and discussed and decided early on in our relationship that we both took our careers equally seriously (after all, we both went to university, we were both equally qualified and capable) We talked about this issue and agreed that neither of us would aim for the kind of job where you earn mega bucks but which means crazy hours and barely being around at home. We wanted good, professional roles but not the sort of mega bucks role you describe where one partner puts their career head and shoulders above the other.
the reality (and this is borne out in other threads) is that some women want their husband earning big bucks. They welcome the chance to either stop work or just do a part time low pressure job. Which is all fine until they realise that actually, it would be good for the children to have both parents around rather than barely seeing one while the other does all the childcare. And then a few years down the line, the woman often becomes a bit bored and frustrated, particularly once the kids are in school, she realises she’s made it harder for herself to get back into work, certainly at a higher level, and anyway, if she does, her husband will still be far too busy and important to do stuff at home and with the kids.
This isn’t about blaming women as a group: I’m actually pointing out that women have agency. You don’t have to accept being the one to sacrifice your career. If you want a partnership which is more balanced, where you both work and both take a share in the children/ domestic tasks then discuss these things from the outset and if your partner isn’t on the same page, then think carefully before embarking on kids.