DH and festering laundry - am I being fussy?

[GardenAnarchist]

Important background context: DH and I both work hybrid, flexible wrt days on-site or at-home. DH has a good habit of going for a jog every morning before he starts work.

My problem is that he frequently "helpfully" starts a laundry load containing his gross sweaty sports kit plus whatever he finds in the family laundry basket - and he'll do this whether or not one of us is at home that day. So of course what happens is the wet laundry sits in the machine all day, festering and developing that "fermented wet laundry" smell that is really hard to get rid of.

Today for example DH started the laundry early in the morning and swanned off to work (I had already left), I got home from work after 4pm, opened the washing machine, nearly died of the smell, had to run an extra rinse cycle with vinegar, then had to hang out the laundry at nearly 5pm. So chances are the stuff won't even get dry by bedtime and will probably still have the lingering smell 🤢

I have reminded DH numerous times to check whether I'm going to be at home before he decides to run a laundry load or at least to avail himself of the amazing time-delay function on the machine so it finishes later in the day! (Today he definitely knew I was out because he even asked me to pick up something from the shop near my work!) Yet he keeps doing this

I have a suspicion he simply can't smell the fermented wet cloth smell although he claims to understand my objection. DC and I can all smell it, our pet hate is the clothes that seem to have been de-smelled, but then when you put them on and your body heat warms them up slightly, the stench is back and wafting all around you 🤮 It probably wouldn't bother me as much if DH would just do this to his own clothes, but he always adds everyone else's clothes into the load.

IABU - What a helpful domesticated DH, and what is this smell you mention anyway?
IANBU - There was a reason why the time-delay function was invented, and that festering damp smell is one of the low-key worst smells!

You are not imagining it.

All the tips like not washing on low temps and using a sanitiser like the dettol one on sweaty sports kits and leaving the machine door open (like you already do!) will help.

But also, clothes left damp and sitting around or drying slowly will develop this smell from the mould growth from trapped moisture. It’s why people’s coats and umbrellas stink of this smell when not dried out properly before putting away/hanging up. And some people clearly can’t smell it!

I have reminded DH numerous times

This is the thing. Relationships are all about compromise. It may not bother him. It may not bother other people. But it bothers you. You’ve suggested a reasonable solution: time-delay or leave it if you’re both out. He’s ignoring this. That’s unreasonable.

Have another chat and ask what his solution is. If he claims he ‘forgets’ or ‘doesn’t think’ when he puts a wash on, ask him if it’d help to stick a reminder note to the machine - and suggest he does it.

Another solution is that he only washes his own stuff. But that wouldn’t be great for the environment or your bills, if it’s not a full load. And he’d get out of washing the DC’s clothes.

If it persists, when he knows how much it bothers you and you’ve suggested solutions, that’d be disrespectful.

We had exactly this issue. For us we changed washing powder brand and now use bio powder. (We had been using smol.) Still wash at 30; occasionally wash Dh sweaty kit in special stuff. If not using bio powder wash at higher temp. And use the timer but washing sits for 4-6 hours and is fine. It’s not the sitting it’s that your wash isn’t clean.

Well yes I agree, my washing doesn't get foisty if I leave it all day or overnight but OP thinks hers does, shes asked her DH to use the function which seems like a fair compromise in their situation.

Not rtft but the issues we had with our machine smelling funky disappeared immediately as soon as we stopped using pods or liquid & went back to powder. Seriously.

Sorry Smol, it's back to Persil or Fairy.

Powder! Told ya!

YANBU. Tell him the next time he leaves wet clothes in the machine, they’re going in the bin. And mean it.

Supermarket own brand powder is just as good and half the price. I have very sensitive skin but no issues with it.

Trouble is he puts everyone else's clothes in the load too!

He won’t do that when he has no clothes left.

Something is wrong with your machine- I can be a little slack and ours doesn't smell and I run. Maybe try washing running stuff separately with a special sports wash?

I agree the washing shouldn't smell. Foes your machine need cleaning? Also his sports stuff might need washing on a hotter wash or shoved some laundry cleanser in it, or rewash with zoflora

I also absolutely hate that smell and have a DH who is very quick to do the washing and doesn't notice it. He does also hang it out so I don't particularly think it's the machine. It's when it doesn't dry quickly enough. Just sitting round damp for ages because it's not warm enough or hasn't been spread out enough. Once it sets in it's really hard to wash out. The dettol laundry stuff helps plus hanging out out on a hot sunny day.

Washing machines and dishwashers need a regular hot run with appropriate cleaning solution and anti calc things (I live in a soft water region), it clears the whole lot out. I tend to do this once a month and I live alone - but saying that, when I come back from gym/rugby and am all icky I rinse everything first.

I have had my washing machine over 10 years and washing left in for 8 hours doesn’t smell like this. I don’t wash many things at 30 or use fabric conditioner. I think that fabric conditioner is evil stuff that gunks up the machine and gives people itchy skin. Sports wear should not be rinsed in fabric conditioner as it sticks to the fabric and stops it wicking.

40°C won't kill bacteria. It is only slightly higher than body temperature and therefore the perfect temperature to breed some types of bacteria - especially the types that can live in (infect) your body.

https://grahamegardner.co.uk/news/washcare

"The big question… do I NEED to wash at 60oC?There are two options when it comes to washing your uniforms that comply with NHS guidelines, advice from other professional bodies and infection controls procedures. They are: • To wash uniforms at 60° C for 10 minutes which will remove 99.9% of micro-organisms that are present• To wash the uniforms at any temperature between 20°C and 60°C with a suitable antibacterial agent capable of killing 99.9% of bacteria even at 20°C."

It could be both or either of these things. You should be running a "drum clean" cycle periodically - your machine should have a special setting for this. You run this with a dishwasher tablet in the drum.

Secondly, you need to be running >20/30° for running gear.

Halo detergent. We never go below 30 degrees. To be fair, everything except towels and bed linen goes in at 30.

Halo works miracles on smelly clothes.

No, I know the smell you mean! It turns my stomach. But clothes can sit in my machine overnight without getting that smell, so it is your machine/laundry temp that is causing it. You will be much happier if you switch to a 40° wash and run a drum clean cycle!

OP, I’m very sensitive to smells, and hate this smell too! I wash everything at 30, and it only gets this smell if the machine is not clean or it’s been sat there for more than a couple of hours. 30 is fine for cleaning assuming you use some kind of laundry detergent. The issue is it’s sitting damp and scrunched up for that long.

But presumably you’ve asked him more than once and he’s basically 🖕🏻to you. Why? Is he not going for a jog but a shag fest in someone’s car and is depositing his clothes asap to hide the evidence and willing to weather your understandable rants bc the evidence is gone regardless? There must be a reason

I can never understand how people can't smell it on themselves! I've known people who never put their washing outside (even if they have a washing line - it's 'too much trouble') or even by an open window. It's shoved on an airer in a spare room for days and, yes, it dries, but it has that horrible sour, 'put away wet' smell. I've been known to rewash bedding when I've gone to put it on and one corner has been inside out and doesn't smell 'right'!

But I suppose some don't have any alternative and some just can't smell it at all. I call the smell 'single man smell' because it seems to be most prevalent among younger men who haven't ever been told how to do their laundry properly.

Umm.

Yes I agree, washing at 20/30 degrees just isn’t hot enough.
Ive never had laundry smell if left in the machine for a few hours.

Yes I agree, washing at 20/30 degrees just isn’t hot enough.
Ive never had laundry smell if left in the machine for a few hours.