DH and festering laundry - am I being fussy?

[GardenAnarchist]

Important background context: DH and I both work hybrid, flexible wrt days on-site or at-home. DH has a good habit of going for a jog every morning before he starts work.

My problem is that he frequently "helpfully" starts a laundry load containing his gross sweaty sports kit plus whatever he finds in the family laundry basket - and he'll do this whether or not one of us is at home that day. So of course what happens is the wet laundry sits in the machine all day, festering and developing that "fermented wet laundry" smell that is really hard to get rid of.

Today for example DH started the laundry early in the morning and swanned off to work (I had already left), I got home from work after 4pm, opened the washing machine, nearly died of the smell, had to run an extra rinse cycle with vinegar, then had to hang out the laundry at nearly 5pm. So chances are the stuff won't even get dry by bedtime and will probably still have the lingering smell 🤢

I have reminded DH numerous times to check whether I'm going to be at home before he decides to run a laundry load or at least to avail himself of the amazing time-delay function on the machine so it finishes later in the day! (Today he definitely knew I was out because he even asked me to pick up something from the shop near my work!) Yet he keeps doing this

I have a suspicion he simply can't smell the fermented wet cloth smell although he claims to understand my objection. DC and I can all smell it, our pet hate is the clothes that seem to have been de-smelled, but then when you put them on and your body heat warms them up slightly, the stench is back and wafting all around you 🤮 It probably wouldn't bother me as much if DH would just do this to his own clothes, but he always adds everyone else's clothes into the load.

IABU - What a helpful domesticated DH, and what is this smell you mention anyway?
IANBU - There was a reason why the time-delay function was invented, and that festering damp smell is one of the low-key worst smells!

I think I’m starting to understand the whole “cancel the cheque” thing. Vast majority of posters have pointed out that you’re probably using crap detergent and washing at the wrong temperature and that’s the likely reason your clothes smell after a while. You have barely acknowledged that and instead are insistent that your DH just needs to do what you say or that you have some sort of super special nose when, actually, your newly washed clothes are just carrying a load of bacteria still. Posters keep saying the same thing over and over again because they think you haven’t seen it when actually you’re just choosing to ignore it because “use a delay function” seems more logical to you than actually washing your clothes properly. I reckon reading your posts is just as annoying to posters as “cancel the cheque” is to you. Just saying …

Thanks for reminding me to hang the Washing out 😅

I know that smell, it's disgusting and nearly makes me retch. I'd ban him from adding anyone else's clothes in with these washes he leaves sitting in the machine.

Don’t hang it. Leave it wet in the washing machine with a time delay until the next day, so that when tomorrow morning he reaches for his clean kit he’ll instead find it wet in the washing machine.

How many running shorts does he have? 😬

my washing does not pong and I have to dry it inside because of my awful hay fever. I do a 90 degree machine clean as and when I remember and use that Dettol machine cleaning stuff. Took a duvet cover out this morning that got washed last night and it was fine and I always do the sniff test to make sure it is ok

All washing at 40, beds and towels at 60 and I can leave it all day no smells

If you are doing large loads, containing really grim stuff like his sweaty gym clothes, all at 20 degrees, it's going to be mank. Mank covered in washing machine detergent chemicals. Lots of modern machines don't use enough water to rinse properly.

If you have something like towels or sheets that you can put through at 60 degrees once a week, I think that would help your machine. It's probably really gunked up.

Yep. I cannot stand that smell. Would never leave damp washing sitting in a machine or in a wash basket for any amount of time as it does start to smell of this gross smell. Even if washed at 60 and in a clean machine.

Clothes that have dried too slowly smell of this too. So many people absolutely reek of it - wet umbrella smell. Workmates, people on the bus when their clothes are warming up, bloke I stood next to for 30 seconds in Superdrug earlier.

I’m not criticising people if they are struggling to get clothes clean and dry but I do think some people just can’t smell this smell and leave clothes sitting in a machine or drying slowly for several days. It’s the worst smell.

Dh washes his own clothes separately. They are stored in a totally separate location in the house. I’m not responsible for his clothes and he isn’t allowed to touch any other clothes.

It’s easy for me to stay on top of the washing that way. The dc and I are on a good routine. Family clothes washing, minus Dh, is my job and no one messes with it. Just like I don’t tell him how to sort the recycling (okay, sometimes I do) or mow the lawn.

We stay out of each other’s way and it’s fine. Only rule is separate baskets. He literally washes his clothes about once every 6 weeks. I got fed up with his dirty clothes piling up in the family basket for months on end. So he’s been banished and now lives out of a festering bin liner of dirty clothes. Not my problem. No longer in my way. 😂

We sometimes leave our washing in all day as we forget we put it on and it never smells bad. Something might be wrong with the machine!

I was getting that awful smell, OP, with a fairly new machine. Now I wash at 40c minimum and put on a wash cycle of 2 hours. And nothing smells, even if it's left for 3 or 4 hours. It's not good to wash at low temperatures especially sweaty exercise clothing.

Dettol laundry sanitiser is good to add as well I use that if DH has put his synthetic golf clothing in there.

Gather together his gym/ running stuff spray it all with vinegar and use a dedicated sports wash, there’s one called halo and it’s excellent. It will properly cleanse the stink out his stuff and stop the foosty smell coming back then you can wash as normal.
mu ex husbands gym stuff clung into sweaty smells that weren’t apparent when dry and only resurfaced when damp halo got rid of that.
also try not using softener with gum stuf it clogs the material stopping it from wicking properly.

You aren’t imagining the smell. My DF does his own washing (Mum died), his clothes smell the same. When he came to stay, he used my DS room and we pretty much had to de-stink it for her. I now try to do a lot of his washing but it’s so ingrained into the fabric it’s difficult to wash away. I did find it was better when my old machine broke down and I got a new one, so I make sure I clean it out once a month and wash things at 40

I know exactly what OP means.
Do a soda wash at max temp, then only wash at min 40 in future.

Because they wash at 20/30

It doesn't kill the bacteria so when it sits there they multiply and stink

I only use delicates/ wool for cooler washes Normal clothes 40
Towels, cloths, bed linen is 60

Ugh sweaty sports gear must stink plus the laundry liquid/ powder doesn't dissolve properly and clogs your machine up

20 or 30 just isn't enough for sports kit (and 20 in view definitely isnt enough for pants or tshirts either).

For reference, 30 is cooler than bathwater, 20 is barely lukewarm.

Does your machine have a sports setting?
Ours does, but it comes up as 20 degree when you first select it.
I just increase this to 40. It doesn't add too much time to the wash.

Ps @GardenAnarchist
Do you also hate the smell of washing or DH that's been out in the cold?
It literally makes me heave -ozone apparently

Aside from washing at the ridiculously low temperature of 20 degrees, washing powder is far more efficient than washing liquid at killing bugs.

There is a problem in your washing machine/plumbing if washed clothes are stinking after sitting for just 8 hours in the machine. I expect someone else has pointed this out.

Yes, I’d also agree with this. Once that smell is in fabric it is really hard to get out. We had a friend call round and sit on our sofa for half an hour and after he’d gone the cushion and sofa seat absolutely stank of the damp smell from his clothes and it took a lot to get it out. And this is a lovely person who is totally wearing clean clothes etc - but they always absolutely reek of the wet umbrella smell because they leave their clothes sitting around wet and drying gradually. I just think some people can’t really smell it. I wish I couldn’t 😅

Nah, they're washing them at 20 degrees with liquid, not powder.

It's not compicated. Or plumbing. Or the washing machine.

Just turn off the machine at the wall. Take out the fuse if you have to

You need to run your washing machine at a higher temp. I do clothes at 40, bedding, towels etc at 60. My washing machine also sends a msg to my phone to tell me when it needs to run a self clean cycle.

The heating element went on our old washing machine. One of the give aways were the clothes coming out not smelling fresh, but a little musty. OP, check your machine is heating up to the appropriate temp, at least 30C!

Fair enough.

That's why I bought a dehumidifier! Hate that damp, took too long to dry smell!