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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she lied and actually went?

89 replies

Summersparkles123 · 10/06/2025 07:36

My friend/work colleague was off sick yesterday. However we were suppose to be going to a concert early evening. I told her I couldn't go due to a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel there. She was fine about it and said she would sell our tickets. I said I was happy to sell it cheaper if she wanted to go with someone else. She said no and said she could only get max. 100 for them. I looked on resell sights and said oh they are going for more though.
Anyway she said she sold them for 100. I had doubts she was telling the truth anyway.
Then yesterday she wasn't at work. I totally forgot about the concert but just realised she probably went. I know people may say she was actually ill. I know what she's like and I highly doubt that.
I'm not annoyed she went, I'm more annoyed she lied to me. I'm also annoyed that she made out she could only get 100 for it the ticket when I know she could have got more on a resell sight. She also hasn't paid me the money for my ticket yet.
Lesson learnt not to trust her anymore.

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 10/06/2025 08:19

How much did you pay for your ticket?
If she says she got a hundred then message her your bank details and tel her you need that back ASAP.

The rest you probably just need to let go.

DifficultEggs · 10/06/2025 08:20

Make up your mind whether you had an accident or a ‘large unexpected cost’, OP.

TimeForABreak4 · 10/06/2025 08:22

If I'd dropped out of an event I was going to with a friend id of let her just have the ticket to offer someone else to go with her so she wouldn't miss out. Yabu. Your story also changed twice as to why you couldn't go on here.

Divebar2021 · 10/06/2025 08:22

Oh OP you’ve really got this wrong. I don’t really want to pile on top of everything else that’s been said but when you dropped out ( for whatever reason ) you should have had zero expectations about your friend also dropping out. I’d have been mortified to let a friend down. I certainly wouldn’t be on here accusing her of lying. Of course she went… accept that you’ve been a PITA and move on.

( I sincerely hope it wasn’t Beyoncé that we’re talking about)

HatesHorsesLovesShein · 10/06/2025 08:23

Maybe she thought you were going to expect her to come up with a transport solution if she said she still wanted to go. Buying tickets for a concert when your finances are so stretched that travel costs are an issue is not a great idea.

somejust · 10/06/2025 08:28

So odd you paid but she had the tickets. So you paid and then transferred them to her? Both of them?

Also, just because they are listed on resale sites as for more, doesn't mean they necessarily go for that much.

Also, you have 'doubts' she was telling the truth, but now you are annoyed and not trusting her - on a hunch.

I dunno. Either this is a reverse or actually, you could have worked a bit harder on your OP. Disappointing.

Ellie1015 · 10/06/2025 08:32

You should have given up your ticket so she could take someone else and not have to miss concert.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 10/06/2025 08:35

As long as you get your money back then she’s done fine by you

brunettemic · 10/06/2025 08:36

If you’ve already paid for the ticket how is a large cost even relevant?

I do enjoy a thread where OP doesn’t get the outpouring of support they expected 😂

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 10/06/2025 08:37

How much did you originally pay for the ticket?
And have I understood correctly that you bought the tickets (and she’s not yet paid you for hers) but then you gave both tickets to her to sell?

WaltzingWaters · 10/06/2025 08:41

Seeing as you dropped out after already committing to the concert (doesn’t really matter the reason why), I think her taking a friend and reimbursing you a smaller portion of the ticket cost is completely fair enough. Shame she lied but if she knew you’d be difficult about the situation that’s probably why.

QueenBeyNot · 10/06/2025 08:41

Depending on how she sold the tickets she may not have been paid yet?
I sold tickets a few months ago for a gig via Viagogo and had to wait for the buyer to confirm they’d got in ok and then it took another 5-7 working days for Viagogo to pay me.

Theroadt · 10/06/2025 08:42

CopperWhite · 10/06/2025 07:40

You let her down for the concert, so at that point it’s up to her what she does. She’s not obliged to find you best price for your ticket after you dropped out. Why didn’t you offer to do the selling? In your position I’d have offered to let her have the ticket for nothing so that she could find someone else to take more easily. Be glad she didn’t miss out because you let her down.

This. OP wants to have her cake and eat it.

Theroadt · 10/06/2025 08:43

brunettemic · 10/06/2025 08:36

If you’ve already paid for the ticket how is a large cost even relevant?

I do enjoy a thread where OP doesn’t get the outpouring of support they expected 😂

Agreed!

Gundogday · 10/06/2025 08:46

To be fair, op did offer to sell her ticket. She wasn’t expecting friend to carry the cost, but friend said she would sell them.

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:47

whitewineandsun · 10/06/2025 08:15

told her I couldn't go due to a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel there.

I had an accident which i couldn't help so it's not like I purposely couldn't go

Which story is it?

The two aren't mutually exclusive!😄

@Summersparkles123 chase her for monies owed & then move on. Your feeling that she went is probably correct but no point in stirring things up.

333FionaG · 10/06/2025 08:49

Surely you can see you're the unreasonable one here?
You gave her one month's notice that you were bailing out.
I hope she took someone else and had a blast.

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:53

Summersparkles123 · 10/06/2025 08:08

I had an accident which i couldn't help so it's not like I purposely couldn't go. I gave a month's notice. She had the tickets and I did offer to sell them but she said no its fine. I haven't seen any evidence that she listed them or sold them. She told me the day after I told her that she had sold them

Show quote history

In your original post you actually said you had a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel. Now it's an accident ....

Plus you do realise that some of those resell sites where they sell for more than face value the people then often don't get it because they aren't authorised transfers.

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:55

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:53

In your original post you actually said you had a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel. Now it's an accident ....

Plus you do realise that some of those resell sites where they sell for more than face value the people then often don't get it because they aren't authorised transfers.

Show quote history

Can you really think of no accidents which result in costs?

WheresthesaladTheresthesalad · 10/06/2025 08:58

CopperWhite · 10/06/2025 07:40

You let her down for the concert, so at that point it’s up to her what she does. She’s not obliged to find you best price for your ticket after you dropped out. Why didn’t you offer to do the selling? In your position I’d have offered to let her have the ticket for nothing so that she could find someone else to take more easily. Be glad she didn’t miss out because you let her down.

First post nails it.

I've had to drop out of a concert a couple of times due to ill health and always offered my ticket for free (or accepted a contribution if they've insisted on offering) to friend's friend so my friend wouldn't miss out too or end up going alone. You are being very unreasonable.

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:59

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:55

Can you really think of no accidents which result in costs?

Show quote history

Sure I can but then I can also think of an OP who would say I had to pull out because of unexpected costs due to an accident rather than waiting to change her story when everyone said YABU. Especially when the same OP is wanting the friend to have gone to the effort of attempting to sell tickets at a profit rather than on a legitimate returns site when she could. So there we go

tripleginandtonic · 10/06/2025 09:01

You're lucky to get £100. If you wanted to sell your ticket you should have sold it, why out the onus on her. CF.

nomas · 10/06/2025 09:01
  1. always get your ticket, never leave it with the buyer
  2. sell your own ticket
SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 10/06/2025 09:07

Zippidydoodah · 10/06/2025 08:12

So now it’s an accident and not an unexpected bill?

you were unreasonable, op. Just accept it and move on.

Edited

Can the cost of a car accident, for example, not be an unexpected bill. Do you anticipate your accidents

whitewineandsun · 10/06/2025 09:10

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:59

Sure I can but then I can also think of an OP who would say I had to pull out because of unexpected costs due to an accident rather than waiting to change her story when everyone said YABU. Especially when the same OP is wanting the friend to have gone to the effort of attempting to sell tickets at a profit rather than on a legitimate returns site when she could. So there we go

Show quote history

Quite.