Best responses please

[Abhorrentpeople]

I've just come home to find this on my doormat.

Give me your best responses please, particularly knowing that

1. she never parks her car on her own drive, she parks across it

2. my car normally lives on my drive, but I moved it Saturday to put DDs uni stuff back in the garage on Sunday

3. there's a LOT of other on road parking, including next to my fence a massive 5 strides from her gate

The irony is my first job when I got home tonight was going to be to move my car. I'm not sure I will now.

So, your best responses please

"Please move your car that is in front of my fence my visitors park here"

No response at all is often the best one.

Just ignore her

Write 'No' on it and post it through her letterbox.

She doesn’t own the road so the best response is to not reply and then carry on parking there whenever you want, as frequently as you can!

Best response is to ignore it.

I’d leave my car there for the evening, only move it when you are genuinely going out next. Then park in that spot a few times a month. I’d not bother responding.

I’d Have moved it of I’d been asked nicely, but that’s just plain rude

Post it back with a big red question mark.

Best response is to ignore and keep parking there assuming you are taxed, insured, mot'd if required and you are parking legally there is sod all she can do

Don’t reply and do leave your car where it is. You hold the power.

Get a pot of honey and leave it on her doorstep with a note saying ‘you catch more bees with honey than you do vinegar’

Open a bottle of wine so you're unable to drive tonight.

"No, you don't own the road."

Put a leaflet for a driving instructor through her door with a note on saying "to help you learn how to park on your drive so your visitors are no longer inconvenienced by having to park on the road."

It's honestly not worth it don't fall out with your neighbours they can make your life a living hell. Initially I was like no leave your car their forever and bike everywhere she has no right to tell you where to park but honestly just move your car

Agree best to ignore but id be sorely tempted to write LOL and post it back through. People are so fucking mental.

👀👀👀

OP, I'd just leave your car where it is and not dignify the note with a response.

"Please use either upper or lower case lettering, never the twain in the same note".

😆 🤣

Honestly though from the handwriting and the way she's underlined "here" she comes across like she wears her underpants on her head.
You could always take her literally and send a note back wondering why she thinks her visitors park on your doormat though.

Id reply with “in front is two words”

Bloody parking bores. I'd ignore it.

I had a neighbour who asked her policeman nephew to knock on my door and ask me to move my car that was parked outside her house. I told him I'd report his actions if he continued to harass me

Another neighbour banged on her window at me for parking outside her house, shouting that her son parks there when he comes to visit.

I don't bloody care. It's a public highway and you don't own it.

Divide your vehicle excise duty per year by 365 and bill her by the day.

DD insists I should move it, as I shouldn't be petty and stoop to her level.

But I really want to be petty and leave my car there!

Leaving your car where it is isn't petty. It's neutral.