AIBU for making DD go to school tomorrow (after Duke of Edinburgh)

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DD (age 14) did DoE this weekend - she walked a long way and has a couple of blisters. Finished the walk 3pm Saturday and has spent all her time on the sofa gaming and complaining about the blisters since then.

She says that her friends are all staying home on Monday to recover and that I am a cruel and unfeeling mother for making her go in. She has an unavoidable 20 min walk to / from school and a PE lesson on Monday. Her attendance is normally 99% (because I'm a cruel mother and make her attend with a cold, and because she doesn't actually get ill much).

So

AIBU - I am normally too cruel and should let DD play games with her feet in a water bath all Monday

AINBU - 14 year olds can cope with blisters and need resilience. send her in.

For starters, that child was having panic attacks at the thought of it. So calling in sick would be accurate - she was unwell.

It’s hardly cruelty- she finished the walk Saturday, has had Sunday to rest up- maybe wear trainers to walk to school if it’s a longer walk, +/- gym class if she’s sore, but it wouldn’t get a day off school from me either.

I honestly think it’d be more ‘cruel’ to mollycoddle her and let her skive off rather than sending her in!

How bad are the blisters, can she walk comfortably for 20 minutes?

I did DofE and my parents allowed me to stay off on the first day after. But my blisters were horrific, 20 years on my friends still remember how bad they were 😂

Seriously? A bit of walking and some blisters? That's a family walk! My dc wouldn't even bother asking.

Dd has been away all weekend, from 5pm Fri until 4pm today. Physical stuff. She just assumes she'll be in tomorrow.

I have friends whose kids do athletics all weekend. They're knackered. They're still in on Monday mornings.

Can you drive her to school or get a taxi?

Glad to see I’m right to send her in. She has spent all day campaigning to stay home. But she also knows I won’t allow that.

She is being ridiculous.

Mine didn’t even ask if they could stay at home, and as it was done via school they would have known that all the kids taking part had already had a day and a half to recover

Send her to school.

She finished the walk on Saturday.

She's either fit to go to school, or you are concerned about her health and need to take her to the doctors because a normal fit 14 year old shouldn't need more than a day to recover.

There's obviously something wrong with her that needs the doctor to check if she's that bad she needs to rest for another day.

Tell her she can either go to school or book the appointment.

I'm guessing I know what will happen.

She just wants a skive day like her mates, no shame in trying!

But.....will she be wearing blister plasters, proper ones like Compeed or the generic equivalent? If not then YABU. Finger-cut type plasters just dont cut it. A 20 min walk each way with PE as well will be agony without blister plasters.

I'm normally really soft, but assuming there is nothing phsyical or mental health wise, I would definitely send her in. My child is too young for DofE, but we definitely all went in after expeditions when I did it blisters and all, and I think we normally finished the expeditions on a Sunday.

She has had a day to rest. I don't think that teaching her she gets a day off for no reason, when she already had a rest day, is a very good life lesson. You could write her a note for PE if her blisters are hurting. She could wear trainers to walk to school if necessary and if so then change into school shoes when she gets there. Do you have any of the specialist blister plasters if they are bad?

My DC’s school has them coming into school the following day as a condition of passing. If any of their team do not come in, they are all failed. That’s the official line anyway, don’t know if they would actually enforce it…

They’re scheduled to get back at 9pm on Sunday after their Silver expedition, assuming there are no delays on the road (and they don’t have to wait too long for stragglers to finish and get to the coach). They’ll be going in for 8:30 on Monday. Your daughter is being ridiculous.

It's part of the DofE experience. Compeed and school. How else can she compare her blisters with the others?

Next time, invest in really good walking socks, do more walking in the walking boots beforehand to help harden her feet up, take Compeed on the expedition.

Omg, I can't believe people are actually suggesting paying for a taxi / Uber. Some solid plasters should be adequate.

Good on you for sticking to your guns OP.

Can you drive her instead of the 20min walk

Of course she should go in

DH and DS2 (15) have just been off on a bikepacking weekend and only got back 3 hours ago. They spent almost an hour packing all their kit away. DS2 will still be going to school tomorrow.

If she's got bad blisters she could have a note for PE, but loads of kids go to school after very active weekends. She'll be fine.

I’d make her go in but can’t you drive her?

i bet they all go in, her friends are probably just hoping they dont but in reality i dont see why not

I'm another one who'd send her in, but with a note excusing her from P.E

Get the girl some Compeed/generic hydrocolloidal plasters. And wear in those boots and get better socks for the next DoE.

Dof E Assessor of many years here . I honestly consider Bronze to be proportionality a tougher level than Silver or Gold .

I would ensure your lovely daughter has lots and lots of praise for completing her Bronze expedition. It’s a tough challenge for a 14 year old and she should rightly both feel very proud of herself & know how very proud you are of her . A major point of DofE is helping raise a student’s self esteem & the confidence that they can do ‘hard things ‘ .
I would explain that part of that challenge is also going into school the next day , acknowledging that she feels a bit tired & sore . Again , really praise her for doing so ,
especially if lots of people are taking the day off as it will so help her long term feeling of achievement & build her resilience.
Agree with pps Compeed blister plasters essential.

Huge congratulations to your daughter.

I had to have no pulse before I got a day off school.