AIBU for making DD go to school tomorrow (after Duke of Edinburgh)

[parietal]

DD (age 14) did DoE this weekend - she walked a long way and has a couple of blisters. Finished the walk 3pm Saturday and has spent all her time on the sofa gaming and complaining about the blisters since then.

She says that her friends are all staying home on Monday to recover and that I am a cruel and unfeeling mother for making her go in. She has an unavoidable 20 min walk to / from school and a PE lesson on Monday. Her attendance is normally 99% (because I'm a cruel mother and make her attend with a cold, and because she doesn't actually get ill much).

So

AIBU - I am normally too cruel and should let DD play games with her feet in a water bath all Monday

AINBU - 14 year olds can cope with blisters and need resilience. send her in.

What a ridiculous comment. That just encourages her to have no resilience at all! There are still 6 weeks of term left, so many end of year exams will not even have started yet until after the GCSES have finished.
I'm one of the teachers that spends all of her weekend with the DofE and it totally boils my menopausal piss when parents allow their little darlings who have whinged and complained all weekend to lounge about at home while I drag my sorry knackered arse through a school day.

I’m interested in the responses on this thread which seem to be unanimous in sending your DD in @parietal even though she’s tired and has blisters..
A few weeks ago, there was a thread regarding a girl who had to do tell some jokes in front of the class as part of a class project. Think she was 16 and every one , I mean literally everyone on the thread, was saying “I’d hate that too”, “what’s the point of it “ and saying to phone in sick on her behalf.

Personally I can’t see the difference - both instances show the need to find resilience yet such differences on the responses on here !

Send her in. She finished yesterday, not this evening. Even if she had finished this evening, the teachers would be in school Monday. It's a few blisters, get over it.

Pretty sure that was a whole day off timetable on a comedy workshop. She wouldn't miss lessons.

One involves missing a day of actual education because of a very minor injury and being a bit tired - due to an extracurricular activity the child chose to do.

One involves missing something fairly pointless, that they didn’t choose or have any say in, that in some children is deeply anxiety inducing to the point of sleepless nights and panic attacks.

Not really equivalent levels of resilience.

The poor old Duke , I don’t think he set up these awards with the idea that young people would languish around on chaises longues (or other soft furnishings) needing to be carefully tended after a bit of a hike.

Not the point of developing a bit of grit at all!

Have you got any Compeed type blister plasters? They really work.

She needs to go in. She's not unwell.

Trainers or comfy shoes to walk to school in. PE isn't strenuous.

She's had a day to rest.

And we wonder why we have a generation of snowflakes

Send her in, for God's sake... nobody needs that much cotton wool 😀

If you give her a day off because of what is essentially a social (good for CV and general development, yes, essential, no) you’re setting a precedent for life. Feel a bit tired so I won’t go to work. My throat hurts so I won’t go in. It’s a race to the bottom. I wouldn’t dream of giving my kids a day off after DOE, nor have they asked. If your leg is still partially attached, you can go to school. Absent any major illness/disability, it’s a good blueprint for life. As pp said, resilience is such a vital skill and one in such short supply among school kids today.

Of course she needs to go to school.

Compeed (it’s brilliant), early night and into school. I assume given her age it was bronze so it’s not like it was even that far - she’s just a bit uncomfortable and tired.

(but I send mine in pretty much always unless there’s a limb falling off - I did give my dd one day for a broken bone but then back in - which she was fine with, good to teach them resilience)

If it were my daughter, she would be going in.

I mean, you wouldn't take a day off of work because you'd gone on a hike and developed blisters. A note for P.E. is reasonable however.

Feels like it defeats the purpose of D of E for her to take a day off school. I would understand if she'd got home at midnight Sunday night, but if she's been lounging around since Saturday, and the only issue is some blisters, then it shows a profound lack of resilience.

My daughter has hers in a few weeks on a Thursday and Friday and then has a full day of rehearsals for the school play on the Saturday. Send her on she'll be fine! I'm really surprised the other parents are letting their kids have the day off.

I sent mine in.
I used to be a DofE assessor. Kids went to school next day.
If they had blisters they just used compeed.

My son has done all three d of e levels and always went into school the next day. His school did allow them to wear trainers or crocs for a day. In fact the teachers threaten to come round to the house if they pulled a sicky.

Isn't Bronze DofE only 4 hours of walking on easy paths and roads for a grand total of 2 consecutive days?

A day off school because she went on a gentle walk would be embarrassing.

To be honest I think even a note for PE would be ridiculous in the circumstances.

My dd did her bronze last week and was insisting she wouldn’t be going into school the next day, her argument being that she had to walk 12 miles carrying a really heavy bag….im a postie, I walk about that every day with a heavy bag! I just looked at her and asked her was she really going to have this argument with me?? Needless to say she was at school the next day😂

It’s surely not difficult to understand how responses across two vaguely similarly themed threads (teenagers lacking resilience) are different considering this site has millions of users. Nothing interesting about it at all.

Yanbu at all. When my DS did it, the teachers said they HAD to be in school the next day. If they missed it, they'd be trouble. As in for the student and the teacher volunteers themselves.

A tiny minority don't come in on the Monday and they miss out on the reminiscing/chatting/telling peers about the weekend. And they're teased for lacking resilience when they finally turn up on the Tuesday.

We're in kind of the same boat.

DS has been away on a PGL trip all weekend with school and is hankering for tomorrow at home.

The way I see it is if staff who attended (12 plus the Head) will be dragging themselves into work tomorrow then the kids should too.