I'm being unreasonable, right?

[Loveandasmile85]

I know I am, OK. But I'm annoyed. My husband had a job yesterday, to order a plain white matte shelf.
After running around all morning and early afternoon (walking the dog and giving him a bath, running errands in town, household chores) I was looking forward to putting up the shelf to make our house more homely.
I have to wait until the evening (he takes long afternoon naps every weekend) for his help. I unbox and discover he's ordered the wrong one. He's telling me that I shouldn't be annoyed. I'm annoyed because every weekend is governed by him, all I want is a stupid shelf up. Literally, we do nothing, and I mean nothing. We don't go anywhere, we don't even go for lunch together. Because he needs his routine which is to eat around 1, in bed, then nap until about 6 pm.
So I feel like although it's so small, it mattered to me, in this moment. I know I'm being unreasonable, but do I have any right to be a bit upset?

What’s his justification?

And you don’t have to spend your weekends like this because of him. You can go out by yourself or with friends.

I’d start making plans, my DH likes a nap but usually only an hour and most definitely not at the expense of doing things. Get your own life, he can choose to sleep through his if he wants.

Why does he nap for 5 hours?

You sit around for ten hours every weekend while your husband sleeps!? How have you not got the ick or died of boredom yet?

How some people live is wild to me.

This isnt about a shelf. Your unhappy in your relationship.

This. I mean, is he over 80 or recovering from a serious illness? DH and I are both 52 and this weekend we went to two gigs, the farmers’ market, had a drink with friends, he went to the gym, I hacked at the unruly part of the garden, we took DS to see both sets of grandparents, did a quick grocery shop, and DH took him swimming. The gigs two nights in a row are a bit unusual, but otherwise that’s a normal pattern of weekend activity for us if we’re both at home.

Seriously, what’s in this for you?

he needs his routine which is to eat around 1, in bed, then nap until about 6 pm.

sorry……. WHAT…??!!!

How long has this been going on? And why?

Does he have a medical condition?

He eats lunch in bed then falls asleep 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Why are you sitting around waiting for him to nap?! I mean this kindly, but....get a life! It's really on you to make better choices for yourself.

is he 80?

His weekend can be governed like that.

Your weekend can look like whatever you want it to look like. I'd be making plans and cracking on.

Just buy the shelf yourself, and then next weekend when he has a nap, start drilling and banging whilst putting it up. That's what I do! My DH loves an afternoon nap, but if left to his own devices would literally sleep the whole afternoon and evening. So I told him, night time is for sleeping, so if you chose to sleep during the day, don't expect me to tip toe around being quiet, and I don't!

Eh?? Why are you so happy to accept you’re being unreasonable?!

YANBU. How old is this man, how healthy? What is his job? If no reason to need a nap then he’s taking the piss. A 4/5 hour nap every weekend, wow!

Go out without him at the very least OP.

Why do you think your life has to look like this? It's a shit life. But there's a simple solution.

5 hours is not a “ nap”. Does he have a health condition which means he has to do this?
Even if he does, that is no good reason for you to structure your weekends around him. Go and do what you want?

I had a nap like his today but I'm recovering from breast canncer. What's his excuse?

How old is he? Does he have a health condition? What does the rest of your relationship look like?

Does he work nights? Does he stay up late playing video games? It's nowhere near normal to sleep all afternoon, every weekend. What an absolute waste of life.

If he works nights, can he look for a new job that doesn't impact his life so much.
If he's ill, get him to a doctor.
Otherwise you need to get rid before he drains the life out of you.

The nap isn’t normal. Having to eat at home at a set time then sleep all afternoon is not normal. It’s ok to find his routine annoying because it is.

start making plans without him. You might find that you have a lovely life that doesn’t require him in it.

He needs a 5 hours nap every Saturday and Sunday? Why? What does he do in the week? There’s no way I could live like that. You never get to do any day trips or lunch out? Do you have DCs?

Please tell me that he works nights. Otherwise that is utterly ridiculous and you are not BU.

Does he work nights, I can't work out what is happening but your are unhappy about more than shelf.

YANBU. I can relate to this. You feel as if you are wasting your life and watching it go by.

My vagina clamped shut reading this.
Who gives a shit about the shelf, you need a life without him! Also learn to put a shelf up yourself!