I'm being unreasonable, right?

[Loveandasmile85]

I know I am, OK. But I'm annoyed. My husband had a job yesterday, to order a plain white matte shelf.
After running around all morning and early afternoon (walking the dog and giving him a bath, running errands in town, household chores) I was looking forward to putting up the shelf to make our house more homely.
I have to wait until the evening (he takes long afternoon naps every weekend) for his help. I unbox and discover he's ordered the wrong one. He's telling me that I shouldn't be annoyed. I'm annoyed because every weekend is governed by him, all I want is a stupid shelf up. Literally, we do nothing, and I mean nothing. We don't go anywhere, we don't even go for lunch together. Because he needs his routine which is to eat around 1, in bed, then nap until about 6 pm.
So I feel like although it's so small, it mattered to me, in this moment. I know I'm being unreasonable, but do I have any right to be a bit upset?

Start doing your own thing and stop allowing him to dictate your weekends

Unless his idea of napping until 6pm is giving you several out of body experiences until your souls has been rearranged and then cooking a decent dinner.

Why the need for all these naps?

Does he have a medical condition that means he needs so much sleep? If not I wouldn't be waiting or working my weekend around him. Tbh it's something I'd probably decide is a relationship deal-breaker

Is he unwell that he sleeps for so long? Does he then go to bed with you and sleep through? I can’t imagine my Dh doing this, seems odd.

As in most MN posts, OP has buried the lede.
The shelf is not the problem.

Sorry what? You are with someone who takes five hour naps every weekend. Ditch him and find someone more interesting.

Does he have a very tiring manual job?

That's not a marriage, that's a sentence.

I voted YABU because why do you let him govern how you spend your weekend?

If he wants to nap, so be it, you go do stuff you want to do. He moans - tough shit you wanted to nap. Im not staying in waiting for you to wake.

why does he nap so long??

You don't actually need a penis to fit a shelf...
Sounds like you don't need a man at all.. Well not that one anyway.. Is he 95 btw?

I hope he doesn't spill gravy on the duvet....🙂

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all and fuck living to his schedule!

YANBU at all. It’s not about just the shelf—it’s about feeling like your time, energy, and needs don’t matter. You run around all day, wait on his routine, and the one small thing you were looking forward to gets messed up. You’re allowed to be frustrated. It’s not the shelf—it’s the pattern.

The comments, some made me chuckle, are helpful and I already feel validated!
To put things into perspective:
He has had a history of medical conditions, but is otherwise healthy apart from poor choices!
He's in his 50s (I am 40).
I do have a life without him, I like being out and socialising. And I love walking my dog which I do every weekend for a couple of hours (I've joined a group). I love him and want to do something with him.
I could learn to put up a shelf myself, but that just wasn't the point, I wanted him to do ... something... with me.
My vagina ALSO closed up reading this back. It's just dawned on me after a period of immature sulking, it's not the shelf!
Thank you

The only thing you’re being unreasonable about is thinking you’re being unreasonable for being upset. He sounds infuriating and I’d lose my mind!

My exH worked shifts and did this Sat & Sun (didn't have a meal in bed but 'napped' for 5 hours after lunch.)

The problem was that when he came off shifts he carried on doing this.

That's why he's an 'Ex' !

Gordon Bennett! Your post took me back, both my parents would take a power nap after lunch and dinner, 30 mins at the longest but both of them did physical jobs... my father was a gardener and my mother was a daily. However, after that they would be up and out again, for my dad that would mean working on his allotments, for my mum, it would be our washing and ironing and usually a Saturday afternoon job in a local farm shop. My father retired through ill health in his late 50s due to chronic heart fatigue but he still managed afternoons and evenings at his allotment... I fear your husband is taking the proverbial.

I’ve just spat my brew out! “My vagina clamped shut.” 😂😂😂😂

So he’s at least a decade older than you? Oh god, you have got a hideously dull few decades ahead of you; he’s hardly going to suddenly gain a new lease of life at 60 or 70 is he?

You’re younger than me: are you honestly ready to basically live with an old person? You pretty much already do.