Would you do this?

[auntannie]

Attend a hen do if it meant a £90 train journey and 3.5 hour travel time each way? Wouldn’t be staying overnight because the bride is pregnant and it’s just going to be a quiet meal/get together.
Friend is close but don’t see each other often due to distance. I love her dearly but the thought of attending is giving me anxiety because life is already totally manic with kids, work and other obligations. But she made the effort for my hen do (albeit quite a few years ago) and I just feel like a shit person.

I would do, yes. A few hours to myself on a train with time with friends between sounds great! Download some audio books, stare out of the window.
I get why you're hesitating I've done this before and always been so glad I made the effort. Life's too short and I promise one missed weekend for the kids won't make any difference in the greater scheme of things

Depends on your finances and depends on your stage in life.

Would I do that to attend an important occasion for a dear friend now ? Yes. But my dc are grown up and my being away wouldn't affect them, and my finances are much more comfortable than they were 30 years ago.

Would I have done that 30 years ago when we were skint and life was pretty manic with both WOTH, and all of us having activities to keep up with ? No. But equally, my friends at the time would have understood that.

What will you absence do to the dynamic? If you're one of 20 it's going to matter a lot less than if there's supposed to be 4 of you. A small event, I'd go. Its one day of your life. Most of which will be sitting on a train reading your book/listening to music/on MN, so there's worse ways to spend your time.

Yes I would in the circumstances you describe. It will mean a lot to her and people remember who goes above and beyond for them