Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

[Moniworries]

I'm worried even though on paper it's a short term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold.

She's worried but she also trusts him.
They have been together for 6 years and to be fair he's a nice guy, he's got two adult DC and mum has two as well. They share one DC my brother

She lives in his house now but it's quite small he wants to buy a slightly larger house for family to visit and he will be a grandfather soon

They live quite rurally so harder for family to visit.

I'm concerned because he won't marry her he said it's too complicated with his adult children and also work shares and a family trust,he won't put her on the deeds.
He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after .

Mums put up with this because she's still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems which is about 250. That's her fail safe and she's been comfortable with her situation living in a nicer house than she could afford with that money for her should something happen

Technically he would be borrowing this money only on a short loan but she's worried as am I,what if something random happens to him in that time?

How could she get it back and what if it gets lost in complicated trusts?

She needs to put a charge on the property so he can't sell or transfer it without paying back what he owes her

And that's exactly why a charge on the property doesn't help her. The money isn't there for her if she needs it, she can only realise it if the house is sold.

I get that he's panicking and a bridging loan would take time to arrange (though not long). But she needs to keep that money available to her when and if she needs it.

Right? No way, he is taking the piss.

Absolutely not.
Everything looks fine…until it isn’t.
she really shouldn’t do this

Another viewpoint: your DM is living rent free in a nice house, possibly soon to be an even nicer house. Meanwhile her partner's money is tied up in a house that he is letting her live in. He cannot earn any interest on that money because it's in a house. She can save her money and live off it.

I think it's your mother who is doing very well out of the situation tbh.

Well of of course the answer is no.

Why are you even asking?

Your mum needs to buy her own house, tbh, if she wants total security. If she has that money "lying around" then he will think of all sorts of uses for it.

Absolutely a NO!

Only go ahead with a legal charge on the property - do like a Mortgage in her favour . Or get him to transfer the current house into joint names with a deed of trust setting out her interest - until it is sold - most importantly she needs to see an independent solicitor not his solicitor

Fucking hell - seriously? He’s benefitting from house price inflation which has outpaced interest on cash savings since 2008.

She needs proper legal advice and to have a fixed charge against the house in the same way that a mortgage company would. If there is a mortgage, this would likely rank before her (or else the mortgage company couldn’t do it). That would provide a lot more security as long as there is equity in the house. Still no guarantees though as to enforce would be difficult. Also presumably the money is currently invested elsewhere so she also needs to be conscious of any tax implications eg if it’s it’s an ISA that’s built up over time she would lose all the tax free status.

No is a whole sentence. Why would she gift him £250K??

No definitely not. If he’s in a chain waiting on a sale to go through can’t he get a bridging loan? I’d encourage your Mum away from this.

No. No. No. No. No.

This is suble coercive control.

No honest decent person would dream of suggesting this.

This is absolutely scam artist stuff.

Get on to Age Action snd ask for advice.
Talk to 101 about advice.
Women's aid too.

I am not being dramatic.
No one asks you to loan yoir entire worth unsecured.

Completely batshit behaviour.
There must be duble coercion going on.

It is far more common than you think.

Take it seriously rather than kicking yourself down the road.

Do a Claires law about him.
Tell the police you are concerned that he wants your mother to transfer all her assets.

Red glags waving even for the most gullible of people.

from her position she's looking at a beautiful new home she's not having to literally pay for

In fairness some would argue that this is a red flag too, but whether that's true or not the appeal of a lovely house is no reason to chuck common sense in the bin

I've never been in a position to do this, but doesn't using someone else's money for a house also involve having to declare it as a "gift", to avoid the lender saying "Ah but you've already got such-and-such a loan" when they assess affordability?

No doubt it could be said "We're only calling it a gift to keep the loan company happy", but others have gone along with that and come badly unstuck

@Moniworries does he own the current house outright or is he trying to get a mortgage on the new one whilst owning the old one

necause I don’t think a decent solicitor/mortgage advisor would make this work

NO!

It's a no from me.

It sounds like he is asking her to risk everything financially while risking nothing himself and refusing to compromise. If he doesn't want to marry her he should say so, but he absolutely can legally protect his children and grandchildren from previous relationships when remarrying.

The fact that she "lives in his house" and his big, family-oriented future plans AT BEST include her maybe living in his new nicer house for a while would bother me considerably in her position. If they stay together, is he going to keep referring to it as "his house" in front of their son?

I missed the bit in the OP that they have a DC together. Tbh, they need to get their financial affairs on a better footing long-term, which will mean talking candidly about what they want from the relationship. Having older children is no excuse for not doing that, the reverse if anything. On top of all the obvious red flags here, I think the reluctance to really be honest about what they're doing and where this is all going bodes quite badly. She needs to be so careful even (especially!) if that means the beginning of the end of the relationship.

You’re still saying ‘they’ - there is no ‘they’ in regards to the house selling/buying. Its all him. With her money. Fuck that shit.

She needs to wake up. I don’t believe that he targeted her, lived with her for 6 years, had a child with her and all this to steal her money as a long con. But I do think he’s self centred, doesn’t have her (or their joint child’s) interests at heart. If he doesn’t want her, the mother of his child, to have any security, he should never ask for her to put her own (and your) security on the line for him.

Thanks everybody, it's all summed up pretty much how I feel.

Yes she's been in a good position but also a bad position due to having no shared assets and that money is her security in this situation.

He had no idea their buyer would fall through had they gone ahead as planned she wouldn't be in this situation so whilst I can see it's got con hall
,marks it's only down to their buyer dropping out.

However I feel the situation isn't workable for her and merging finances in this set up is very high risk.

Many posters have said why in good ways which I will pass on.

For myself touch wood I'm secure so longer term I'm not worried about my inheritance but I am concerned about my mum's longer term future and how she may need that money for a house, care and so on.
They could be very happy for another ten year's then he leaves her.
I do think he'll look after my brother though.
🙏 Everyone.

It could cost her 50 grand to force the sale of the property in solicitors and court fees.
And then once they’ve been paid, they might not be another 250 grand in equity there for her to get her money back

I don't think they'll let her do this unless she signs a letter saying it's a gift (which obviously it would be stupid to do, and her solicitor would strongly advise she didn't)

If she did this, she should go on the deeds, with the amount ringfenced legally, and then she can agree to come back off the deeds when he pays back (or rather buys her out)

If he wants her to trust him to lend the money, then he should trust her to allow buy out once she's paid back.

Then the house would have to be sold.