DH utterly useless when it comes to our DC’s birthday

[MumSun]

I need to vent…our DC turns 3 this week and I am having to sort absolutely everything.

DH is saying he’s too busy with work to get stuck in with me - but he’s off playing bloody golf tomorrow.

I asked him to pick out 2/3 photos of his choice which I can use on the day for socials - I’m the one doing the actual posts no doubt yet he can’t even be bothered to spend 5 minutes to find these and send to me.

Anyone else have a partner who leaves birthdays to you to sort? It’s infuriating

Don't have any more children with him.

I think I'd ignore my partner if they asked me to pick out photos for their 'socials'

I find men who regularly disappear off for the day at the weekend to do a hobby very irritating.

However, if my DH asked me to pick pictures for an Instagram post for DD’s birthday, I’d tell him to do it himself because I don’t care about Instagram and if he wants to do it, don’t make it my problem.

Same. That's a weird one to pick out from what I assume is a list of things you are expecting.

Can you explain the bit about the photos, socials and multiple posts?

I thought this would be about cake, gift wrapping and food for a party.

What is needed to be done for the birthday and does he agree but exiect you to do it or think it's too much and so doesn't want to do what he thinks is unnecessary?

Do you get as much free time as he does? I doubt it so pissing off to play golf all day is not on.

100%. What is this obsession with social media all about? It’s baffling.

As a dad I absolutely loved getting involved in all the party stuff, tbh, and I can't understand men who don't take an active role in parenting. Read him the riot act.

There’s that too - I was just using the easiest task as an example as to how useless he has been.

Agreed! How bloody weird.

I'm not saying it's right but I think very often spouses divide and conquer and one will do the things they are best at and vice versa. I have always sorted all cards, gifts and events across both our families but he sorts lots of other things. I guess it depends on what other things you both take on Inc working hours etc.

100% yes I thought you meant he didn’t help blow up balloons or wrap presents or something your child would actually care about

So what else needs doing that he’s refused to do? Ignore the daft socials thing as it’s silly. Has be chosen or bought any presents? Are you having a party?

So basically you want him to pick picture to portray on SM to friends and family that you have the perfect life / birthday / family when really you don’t and he’s a lazy twat of playing golf and your angry and stressed

lol there’s def two types of moms on this platform: those who fiercely shield their children from social media and from having their young faces put on the internet forever (until kids are older and decide themselves when/how to present themselves) and then there’s those who do socials for toddlers! 😳

It's the same in our household too. DH could make the birthday cake and I could have a go at replacing the spark plug in the lawnmower but the results wouldn't be the same.
If it's important to post then the owner of the SM account should do it. Shouldn't take more than a minute!

What?

What does your three year old care about socials? How is that a vital part of the day?

asked him to pick out 2/3 photos of his choice which I can use on the day for socials

Outsource it op
Pay a socials media manager

Do you make money from your insta account

The photos example is silly because photos for social media are for you, not the child. Balloons, gifts, cake and a party are things for the child that he could be involved with...

No, my husband sorted the cake with the cake maker this year and got wrapping paper and wrapped the presents. I sorted food, getting the presents and decorations.

Give your husband a proper list of things to do. How he fits that around golf is up to him! Photos are least of your problems if he won’t pull his weight with other tasks.

I’m assuming you’re joking about socials - I’d ignore you if you mentioned that.

With regards to the rest of the birthday celebrations - it’s basic for a three year old. DH and I chose the presents - one wrapped whilst the other tidied up the house for any visitors on the day. We didn’t do parties at that age but something like pizza and the birthday cake at home.

I'm afraid I would also develop a hobby that took me away a lot if I had a partner who wanted me to get involved in social media and put pictures of the kids up. All that stuff is both meaningless and actively damaging to children while funnelling money to some horrible people. I agree that if he doesn't like it he should get involved and explain his views rather than just disappear but maybe he feels you'll blow up if he tries to express what he thinks about it.

Also.. your child is 3 years old. If you're struggling (and who doesn't with a 3 year old) cut things right down. I say this as someone who did do whole class parties etc and I don't completely regret it but in hindsight they were bunfights. Your child has a June birthday; invite 3 friends to a picnic in the park, buy some party food, buy a cake, take some balls and balloons and look up a few games.

Then yes, talk to him. But be prepared it nay not be all one way.

What’s this ‘pictures for socials’ nonsense?
I thought it would be about picking up party food or putting decorations up.

🎯

Your 3 old doesn’t care about a post on socials so this is something you want your DH to do for you, not for your child’s birthday. Do you also put as much effort and thought into the child’s actual birthday or is it all about appearances for you?

The fact you picked socials as your example tells me it’s you who is the issue. Sounds like you have gone overboard with the party for socials and he’s fed up and doesn’t want to participate in this.