Stretch the truth to avoid going out to dinner

[Ruggerlass]

I’m supposed to be meeting friends in a couple of days for dinner. I’ve found out the restaurant that is booked has a hygiene rating of 1. I really don’t want to go. My predicament is should I be honest and say why I don’t want to go and risk upsetting friend who’s booked it or stretch the truth to keep the peace. I should say friend is not particularly fussy where she eats.

Be honest! I don't always check hygiene ratings, I'd want the heads up if I was planning on visiting one that was a 1 star rating.

I'd just say
"Hey guys! Just noticed the hygiene rating is one?!🤢 You have to be doing some pretty gross stuff to score a 4 so lord knows what they are doing there!?!
Can we go somewhere else? A and B look nice..."

My friends who are chefs will NOT eat anywhere with a 4. 5s only... and that sentiment seems to be pretty universal amongst them
I now only eat in 5s

Just be honest I wouldn’t be going to somewhere with a 1 rating

YANBU to not want to go. You should be 💯 be able to tell her that you don’t fancy eating at a restaurant that’s only 1* rated for food safety.

If she gets upset at such a stupid thing, then I would end the friendship.

Do you generally find her controlling / dominant?

Yep just tell them. A pp has already given a good suggestion of a message. I wouldn't go either!

Definitely be truthful and suggest somewhere a bit less grim

She can be. Always prefers to go local to her and can go off the deep end

Suggest somewhere else but explain why. If they still want to go there say you'll see them next time.

I would check on trip advisor and look at recent reviews as hygiene ratings are not always updated quickly. If they got a 1 then there were serious issues and the EHO would have been back within 2 weeks to check improvement had been done and if it hadn't then they would have been closed down.

Me too, 5s only

Thanks for that, I checked trip advisor and reviews are not great. A few people have recently said (last month) they food was awful and they ended up ill

In that case I would point that out to her and suggest somewhere else. She can't really disagree with that and if she did then you'd be well within your rights to say you didn't want to waste your money on awful food.

I wouldn’t risk being ill for someone who wants to go to the most convenient place (for them).

Just tell her that due to the poor hygiene rating and negative reviews you'd rather not go. If she doesn't like it that's her problem.

Yeah definitely say something. Not worth getting sick for.

Why are you friends with someone that "goes of the deep end" and likes to eat in skanky restaurants?

Just talk to her about it and find somewhere else. I’m sure the other friends won’t want to eat there if they know it’s a 1 rating. If she goes ‘off the deep end’ then she’s not really a decent friend and you haven’t lost anything. Food poisoning can be fatal for certain groups of people.

I would have thought this was a fairly straightforward conversation to have! You just point out that you’ve seen the hygiene rating, and have read the reviews, so you don’t want to go. Perhaps suggest somewhere else? But no need to stretch the truth.

She sounds pretty selfish if it always has to be near her. Is she a good friend? I think you should just say you don't fancy eating somewhere like that and you want to either go to another place (that you choose) or nowhere.

I honestly thought that restaurants with less than a 3 would immediately close and not open again until they fixed the issues and got a higher rating. I've just checked restaurants in my borough on the food standards agency and am really shocked to see some restaurants on there with 1 out of 5 ratings that I know are open, and not just dodgy chicken shop type places either but proper restaurants and pubs.

I'm not a mega hygiene freak but I am pretty shocked!

I'd just point out the hygiene rating and the bad reviews and say you don't want to waste your money at a place where something is clearly going wrong behind the scenes, and suggest a couple of alternatives.

Will you send her the text message a PP suggested?

And let us know how she responds?

Would be satisfying to read one of these dilemmas that ends up easily fixed with some basic and upfront communication!

Oh god I wouldn't risk it! Personally,I won't even consider anywhere that had less than a 3. But then I (and several family members) have had a few nasty food poisoning experiences. As to what to say to your friend,I would just be honest and tell her why. If she's any sort of friend,she'll understand.

If she goes off the deep end for telling her you don’t want to eat at a 1 restaurant then problem solved!

Although on that basis what would be the point of having numbers below 4? Perhaps the system needs to be reviewed and a stricter system in place. Hygiene score of 1 and reviews indicating illness would make me bail out too. I imagine the rest of the friendship group other than the one who booked it will thank you for being through.

Xiaoxiong I thought this too. I'm amazed at the number of cafes/restaurants/takeaways in my area of London that have a rating of 1 or 2 but are still open. Several years ago,I was in a relationship with a bloke who kept insisting on going in a particular chicken takeaway shop. I never ate anything from there as I quite frankly, thought it looked pretty grim (dirty floor,tables not cleared after use) and the guy who worked there talking on his phone then touching food to serve customers. 🤢 Out of interest one day,I looked up it's 'score on the door' (unsurprisingly,they were keeping quiet about it and didn't have anything on the door) and discovered it was a '1'. From then on,I called the shop 'Food Poisoning Central'.