New grandparents to be. . . . .

[RadiovTV]

do not underestimate how hard it is looking after a baby. I did, after all, I've brought up 3, and babysat for several others when mine were young. So now my grandson is 12 months and I'm finding it soooooo wearing. Overlooked the fact I'm 40 years older now with a niggling knee. It's full on and brutal.

I offered to look after him 1 day a week while dd goes back to work, then she'd need to pay one less nursery day. Thank goodness she's smarter and wiser than me. "No mum, you can look after him for as long as you want whenever you want but I don't want you to feel obliged or tie your days down".
I often look after him for an hour or three while she gets stuff done - or goes out for coffee at the weekend with a child free friend, or in fact I just visit and play with him and watch and entertain him and it's great and he loves me 😍
All the times I look after him are extra to childcare so dd and sil can take advantage of a bit of free time together.
But thank goodness she was sensible and recognised my limits. Otherwise dd would be one of those posters writing and complaining that mother had promised the earth and was falling short, and how annoying that is. And I'd be one of those grandparents who felt bad about letting her down.

So grandparents to be - beware. It's a doddle when you're 25 or 30. It's 10 times harder when you're 65 or 70. Be warned.

I'm 67 and not expecting to have DGC for several years - which is fine, I was a late starter too!

I have noticed that with my friends who have GC, those who are in a couple find the care giving less strenuous, but those who are single get a lot out of it as their GC are such a big part of their lives.

If we can't be honest with our own DC about what we can do and what we can't, there's no hope!

We're the same as you op but have inlaw that makes us look bad as she is happy to have the kids routinely, we both work full time and love our grandchildren but do find it hard at our age.

Duh! You're the one who said OP doesn't speak for all grandparents.

She never claimed to.

Absolutely.

Had a couple who looked after their 2 GC 5 days a week. Early morning Tube to DD's house to pick kids up, drop off at school, go back to their own home, back to school pick up, take them to the playground until dinner time as the DD & SIL wfh and didn't want to be disturbed.
If weather was bad, it was a cafe or the library.

Weekends, DD insisted GPs didn't come so they could rest. Only useful when providing a service.

They said could never say anything as otherwise they wouldn't see DGs.

Lots who're happy to do it, but also quite a few who feel stuck.

I was a SAHM as I had no near family and I mostly enjoyed the time bringing up my two DC (18 months apart) in my early 30's. I was encouraged to move closer to my DD and partner at 70 after becoming a widow and have helped regularly with childcare since, usually one full.day a week. My DGD and I have developed a close bond and I enjoy her company, but at times it has been exhausting. I definitely couldn't do it more frequently and I'm sure I would cone to resent it as I would have no opportunity to do other things with friends etc.

I agree. My dm is a young 65yo although some health issues. But at her age, she has raised her kids and her life is to be enjoyed fully doing whatever she wants.
she will gladly help babysit if there’s something we need but no way would I expect regular childcare from her. It’s so selfish to expect this from GP.

im in my 40s with a 2yo and there is no way I’m going regular childcare once I’m done.

Me neither. If my DC decide to have kids then they have to look after them. If they can't afford them, don't have them!