Formal School Complaint - AIBU

[Schoolproblemsagain]

NC

Yesterday, I finally submitted a formal
complaint to my DS secondary school.

It has been a long time coming, but I’m having a major panic that I’ve done the wrong thing and they will treat my younger DS differently.

AIBU to have complained?

I won’t go into all the background details as it’s too long, but the catalyst for finally raising a formal is as follows:

DS Year 11, in the midst of his GCSE’s, has an EHCP and a Pupil Profile. ASD Diagnosis.

School phoned me and said:

At lunchtime, two boys were throwing food at him, he told them to fuck off, he was asked to leave the lunch hall, he refused. He explained to the teacher that he would not leave as he hadn’t done anything wrong and food was being thrown at him. This then escalated to three teachers within his space, who were asking him to leave. He was still refusing. He has been suspended for disruption and is not allowed to return to school unless to sit an exam.

The two boys, who were throwing food and their entourage, who were laughing, have received no punishment.

His EHCP and Pupil Profile states that he will not manage public confrontation with strategies on how to manage such events.

AIBU to have raised a complaint on the grounds that his EHCP and Pupil Profile were not followed, that he has been punished when the other students have not and that he is now missing vital support sessions during his GCSE’s?

Are you saying it is a school's first duty? What is the source for that?

So you'd tell your own teens to just sit there and take having food thrown at you while being mocked?

Highly doubt it.

These children are being allowed into school where OP's son is not. On any count it doesn't look as if they've been punished proportionately, does it? Surely ganging up on and physically attacking a disabled pupil is infinitely worse than swearing.

They never used the word suspension. They just said he’s not allowed in school
other than to sit an exam.

Yes, yes, that is what I said.... Or not. Sorry but you are the millionth poster to have read words I did not write. How about responding to what people actually write?

This does not apply to the other students involved.

Attitudes like mine...

I've worked very successfully with adults with ASD and many children.

Police won't care, and business won't let people not follow instructions.

Otoh there are plenty of reasonable adjustments businesses and the wider world can and should be making to be more accommodating. Reasonable being the operative word. In this case a subtle removal of OPs DS may have been better and more reasonable, if moving the food throwers seemed not possible in the moment.

We're perhaps agreeing in many ways about adjustments that can be made, whilst I'm accepting that the adult world isn't the same as school.

And what if the food throwers are all ND? Maybe they all have plans. Maybe there are things you don’t know about….I’m not saying their behaviour was acceptable as it wasn’t but maybe that’s why they asked your individual son -!: not a group.

So potentially if they are or more than one is it was ‘easier’ to move one person than say three.

There are far too many unknowns and facts you don’t know anything about.

At least one of them knew OP's son well.

Where students with EHCPs are vulnerable in situations such as the dining hall, it is the duty of the school to make sure the relevant staff know about them and how to deal with them - in just the same way as, for instance, they have to let the dining hall staff know about students with allergies.

That's actually crazy and not my experience at all.

We have termly SEN training. I've had full days from specialist teams too.

Naively thought this was common as I've worked in 3 schools with this approach.

It's very different, stupid analogy

So, given OP's son's known disability, what do you suggest would be an appropriate or acceptable reaction to finding himself suddenly under attack and not being protected by school staff? Bear in mind, of course, that he has processing and executive functioning difficulties and definitely did not have the luxury of time to think through a carefully considered reaction. And do try to be realistic.

But if this is the case, why would you so confidently tell an upset parent of a SEN child that she is wrong to question the treatment her son has had?

Under the law, she isn’t wrong to question it. What has happened seems highly likely to be illegal.

Whether we agree or disagree with the law is completely irrelevant.

Also, your initial comments on the behaviour showed an understanding of autism that is actually really upsetting for parents of autistic children. When dysregulated and in fight/flight mode, they literally cannot follow any instructions in most cases. This really isn’t bad behaviour. It’s a genuine disability but because you can’t see it (like a wheelchair), you just attribute it to bad behaviour.

I don't think the punishment is for the swearing, it's for the refusal to leave after 3 separate staff members have asked him to.

I've worked in three schools too. All of them - useless on SEN training.

I've had enough safeguarding training to last me a lifetime, but SEN? Practically nothing. I'm an English specialist and have never even had one training session in my entire career on dyslexia, if you can believe that.

I have educated myself, of course. But no school has ever paid for me to be trained, or brought someone into school to train me or my department, ever. I know my experience is not unusual on that score - lots of friends working in different schools say the same. When it comes to SEN, we are stumbling in the dark and reliant on our SENCOs.

One inset day a year is inadequate. In my experience teachers' knowledge of, for example, the basic legal tests for EHCPs is seriously inadequate. It's not their fault, but they rarely receive appropriate training. My own authority is still using training materials that give the wrong date for the Code of Practice and erroneously bases all its training on the Code rather than the statute, regulations and case law.

Have you read OP's posts? She knows the other pupils are still going into school regularly where her child is not allowed to do so. Exclusion is meant to be the punishment of last resort, so it is clear that if the school has applied any sanctions they fall far short of what has been imposed on her child.

I think you have mistaken me for another poster.

I haven't said the OP is wrong to question.

I also haven't said anything about the child behaving badly.

I have actually said the exact opposite, and that the school has handled the situation badly.

Please raise this with your Headteacher and if no success then follow up with your Chair of Governors! I would be really upset if teachers in my school felt they had a lack of training and didn’t raise it so we could help

Yes I have sorry!

It's really not a teachers job to know the legal side of an EHCP. It's our job to give the provision in section F, the legals isn't our circus. We've got enough going on. This is where parents expect too much. Legalities of an EHCP is SENCO/LA /MAT level stuff. Where do you think we have the head space for that along with everything else we have to do. Sorry if this comes across badly, it's not meant to, but I'd far rather teach well with good SEND provision than being trained on the legalities of an EHCP.

That would be a completely different scenario.

Kids can't just opt out of sanctions at will. Although many will try it on because of some special "adjustment" that they deserve. Nothing reasonable about ignoring teachers instructions. Schools cannot function like that.

You are really exposing your lack of basic knowledge about autism. Suppose the school had a rule that said children have to stand up when told to do so, and OP's son was punished because he had failed to do so, because he was in a wheelchair. Would you be saying "the kid should have just stood up. Problem solved"? It really is the same as OP's son's situation.

For a child who has sufficiently serious autism to merit an EHCP which specifically warns about his difficulty in dealing with confrontation, and who would already be understandably very upset at being the target of a serious attack by a number of other children, OP's son would simply have been really distressed and overwhelmed and unable to take in what was going on, and that would be exacerbated by school staff apparently blaming him and telling him off. He couldn't leave because he probably wasn't even aware that was being asked of him; plus children with autism tend to have a very strong sense of justice, and get even more distressed when they perceive unfairness. Try a bit of empathy - imagine yourself in a situation where you have been attacked and taunted, are overwhelmed by the noise and the whole situation, can't really take in and understand what people are saying. Then you see people who should be protecting you and, in your perception, they are simply protecting your attackers. How rationally and logically would you react?

In that case this is an unlawful exclusion. The school's conduct is getting worse and worse.

Did you read my post?