To ask my child to be quiet?

[veryveryimportant]

And I feel mean but I feel like he never stops talking, ever, it’s just this constant narration and it wouldn’t be too bad if you could tune out but he demands your participation if you like (‘mummy? MUMMY?’)

Increasingly at the moment the younger one will start whining and crying and he just talks over her so I have them both jarring my ears.

Ifeel mean but I’ve just told him that I need him to stop talking to me for a while. (He is 4 and a half.)

Perhaps they have tried a gentler approach. But OP didn’t state that and I’m replying to what they have posted.

This!

Either way, I see zero issue with occasionally firmly telling a child to be quiet if they are otherwise well cared for and treated kindly. It’s a bit of a leap to assume this isn’t the case on the basis of OP’s post.

My daughter was the same at that age, she did not draw breath (she even talks in her sleep 😆) and would often change subjects within the same sentence. No I don't think it's wrong to tell them that you need them to be quiet for a while. It is an important social lesson and it's also not a bad thing for him yo be able to entertain himself at his age. He cannot talk non stop all the time, he won't be able to do that at school and teaching him what you also need will help him start to consider other people's thoughts and feelings. We call ours the queen of waffle and we have a little laugh (never treated as a negative and not belittlingwhat she was saying) but she knows to scale it back a bit. She's 8 now, still a chatter box but also understands that there is a time and a place. Don't feel bad.

When my youngest and very demanding DS developed light stuttering, a speech therapist recommended quiet time (screen free) - an hour per day. The best advice ever!!! While he was playing with wooden blocks, I was reading, with a sand timer. He looked at the timer and kept playing.

That’s dreadful!

Never too young to learn that not every thought that comes into your head has to come out of your mouth 😂

Exactly! I remember explaining to my son that he could think inside his head when he was endlessly rattling on.

Aw, I miss those days. Having said that, my chatty, talkative toddler and child is now a chatty, talkative 19 year old! Be careful what you wish for Op because this stage does last for ever and you might be posting about about your mono syllabic teenager in a few years complaining that they won't talk to you!

Before you blink, there willl be total silence...no children, no laughter, no joy....trust me, that silence is deafening and extremely lonely

This! Better he learns it from you, when he's still a cute child. Would be unbearable in an adult!

I was like this too as a child. And now my boys are too! I find honesty is the best approach. "I absolutely love talking to you, and hearing all your amazing ideas, but sometimes grown-ups need some quiet time. We don't like it being too noisy all day - go and play in the other room whilst I cook. Dinner will be about half an hour". If he starts shouting "MUMMY!!" I say "Excuse me! Don't shout at me, I don't like it". If he carries on, I send him to play in his room until dinner. "You're obviously overly excited, I think you need some time upstairs to read before dinner. It'll be about 20 minutes".

I'm this calm and collected about 80% if the time, I'd say! The other trick for me at least, is diffusing it BEFORE my ears are ringing and I'm irritated. The thing is, I really do love chatting with them too! Just not all day, every day at 100 miles per hour!! 😂

Oh, and if both of mine are shouting over each other, we play the "Whisper Game" for 5 minutes. You can only speak in a whisper! That's the whole game. Anyone who carries on screaming, gets deported to their room "to calm down".

You are the parent. You don’t need to “ask”.

Tell them to be quiet.

The posters on here thinking that it’s “not gentle” . Honestly no wonder there are so many badly behaved kids if you can’t even tell one to shush.

Does he watch YouTube... my daughter started narrating and I had to ban YouTube. Awful awful thing

A game of who can suck a polo the longest without breaking it has always been useful for me

I think it's fine to say that you aren't able to talk about or look at that right now because you are doing x,y,z (that can just be making a cup of tea!). It's also important to tell them not to interrupt. I don't personally like telling my children to generally 'be quiet' without and explanation as it feels like it might be quite damaging to their self-esteem.

Teach them to play dead lions

Actually I have realised mine are much much less likely to do their endless chat/ making noise if I put music on or (when they were younger) an audiobook. It’s like the stimulus from the music means they don’t need to make their own noise.

Worth a try.

Kids can be annoying and noisy and sometimes kids drive us to distraction. It’s fine to gently tell them to be a bit quieter or stop yelling or whatever. But also remembering that really they’re just being kids. Find things to distract him - audiobooks, music - other things to do. A ‘mummy can’t right now’ is fine but don’t get annoyed at him for chattering away reasonably or the fact that the noise of two kids is too much (that’s hardly his fault).

I remember my mother once, when I was following her about the garden, yelled at me to ‘go and get your own bloody friends’. That one felt particularly cruel and definitely stuck.

Honestly in a few years it'll stop and you'll honestly miss it. But that doesn't mean ybu now. Parents get sensory overload too.

I've had to tell mine before to go and colour me a picture or something just so I have a break from the constant noise, I struggle with sensory overload and have 4 children, the one that's usually the loudest is my 8 year old and she always wants me to listen to her all day long and I can't always do it so I just tell her that I need some quiet time and she just says "OK mummy" and goes to play with her toys or draw