Secretly gutted that DH isn't going away for a fortnight 🤭

[BleedingLikeABastard]

DH was offered some short-term work abroad - two-weeks in the middle east.

It looked like a good offer - good money for easy work.

DH had all but decided to go, and I was secretly starting to look forward to a couple of weeks at home alone.

Yesterday he decided that he doesn't want to go.

I tried to gently persuade DH to reconsider but he's definitely staying put. I was surprised at how disappointed I am not to get my two-weeks home alone 😒

I know I am BU. It's totally DH's choice. But I needed to vent a little bit.

It's a combination of:
> He can't be arsed
> He's a home-bird so would always choose to not go away
> He's not massively interested in going to the Middle East

I can't meet him anywhere - I need to be at home with the dog.

If I could go too it wouldn't be an issue, we'd use it as an excuse to stay somewhere random for a bit. But I won't leave our elderly dog.

I agree about an opportunity analysis though - I've told him he's mad to turn down ££££. I've left out that the main opportunity is my alone time 😀😀😀😀😀

My DH work normally involves a fair bit of travel but he's signed off at the moment and I'm desperate to be alone in the house!! I know exactly how you feel!

Sorry I’m going to be ‘that poster’ but I can’t imagine being in a marriage where I’m gutted my husband isn’t going away for two weeks. Mine is my best friend, my heart lifts when he comes in the door and I’d miss him like mad if we spent two weeks apart. We’ve been together 16 years so this isn’t honeymoon phase. I’d be a bit concerned if I felt happy my husband was going away for two full weeks but judging by the previous replies it sounds like I’m in the minority! I’m also not sure if he’d be as gutted if I went away for a fortnight 😂

Goodness me, yes, OP. We all need some alone time, and I'd be gutted too!

But it was just shy of a year's costs/expenses so would've been nice, especially for two weeks of pretty easy work😐😐

I'm unclear as to what a years worth of cost / expenses is? Do you have a ballpark?

I'm not particularly money orientated but if two weeks working abroad was going to offer our family significant ££££'s then I'd suck it up (or I'd be very forcefully pushing my DP to suck it up!)

There's a lot of us saying we'd enjoy the "alone time" but that doesn't mean we'd actually be happy he was gone.

It's one of those things where there's a work opportunity and that means there's an opportunity for more money and a bit of "alone time" for the DW, and she had got used to the idea of him going and had embraced the idea of alone time.

It's perfectly acceptable to be gutted you're not getting something you'd begun to look forward to, whatever the circumstances around that are.

My DH has been WFH since COVID so five years... previously when he went into the office five days a week, I'd spend all day looking forward to him coming home after work...I'd even touch up my lipstick when I heard his key in the door 😂

Now he's always here I find myself looking forward to him going out. It's nothing to do with him...he's fab. I just need alone time.

😤 A lovely two weeks of peace. No one asking what’s for tea etc. I’d play my Spotify list as loud as I wanted, drink my wine then me and the cat sharing a kebab in bed. To then be told the trip is off! 😱 Would make me want to smash the house up 🤣

God, absolutely, OP. Do your best 'on the other hand, DH, you Goulding finally get that new golf club/bike part/coffee thing/whatever'..

Now. Where does one see 2 weeks well paid on-site work on the ME to hurl onto the path of one's never bloody leaves the house DH?

Totally understandable OP, being alone in the house or even with kids but no other adults is amazing.
The posts I don’t understand are the ones where people can’t eat what they like when their husband is home. Why!?

@TillyTrifle I don't see the two as mutually exclusive. Me and DH are really close, best mates, love eat other fiercely. I miss him when he's away for a short period of a couple of days. But a couple of weeks felt like I could relax into a different kind of life and routine that I've never experienced before. Not one I'd want permanently, but one that I could try on for a little while.

@Crunchymum They're offering £30k for two weeks work.

I only lived alone in the past 18 months, having always lived at home, with a relative, or in a shared house. And for over 20 years, with DH (and now DD). Even when DH had overseas work, dd was small so I was fully on duty (and working).

it’s lovely getting home to them both, but it’s also been really nice to set things up as I want, leave a craft project partly done to go back to, and knowing there is a particular item I the fridge/drink cupboard/snack spot…

Ooh I’d love my DH to have a fortnight away. I’d get a bloody skip and declutter with a vengeance. He’s so untidy it drives me mad.

30k tax free?

I'd be manhandling DH onto the plane 🤣

It's two weeks, even if you dislike being alone most people would snap their hands off for that.

We are both recently retired and I secretly miss when he used to do nights.(sleeping, not actually doing work). Crap tea, crap tv, early night.

Watch out, the MN mafia will be here soon to say he’s obviously having an affair and will be moving his OW in and changing the locks while you’re gone 😆😆😆

Wow yes I agree - OP and DH must be very well off to be able to just turn this down cos he doesn’t fancy it. I’d snap someone’s hands off for that kind of easy money (I want a new campervan!)

For 30K, I’d drive him to the Middle East myself!

haha I'm with you OP I'd have been devastated if he changed his mind! I'd have had my TV show/films to watch list and my snacks and dinner menus sorted already! Bliss. I love my DH but as some pps have said I've never really lived alone either so it would be lovely to have our house to myself for a couple weeks. And I'd have been excited to see him when he got home too. The £30k would be nice too of course!

Yep, I would be gutted too!! Mine was supposed to be out tonight but his plans got cancelled and I am quietly seething!

£30k! Unless you are already very wealthy, that is a stupid amount of money to turn down.

I love my dh and he is amazing dad and husband and very very hands on. But he had to go away for a couple of days for work...he really didn't want to but did too ..it was abroad....my parents said not a problem we come down I was noooo.... I had a relaxing couple of days and yes I missed him as did dd. He came back refreshed having only had to go to the conference and chat to colleagues...all who seemed to be like him in bed by 9-10... He what's app In his hotel room which was amazing by looks of the video. Lovely to have some time apart and I appreciated him more and I also got to read a book. Sadly no more are planned until next year but op encourage him to go x

Lol....hands on changed to handsome....had to edit that...I think he is handsome but I'm sure others wouldn't.. I just seen a kind man with kind eyes who cares and loves his family and friends making him very handsome to me

Family eating is always a compromise, isn’t it? Some of my faves are things the other two would groan at, and vice versa. Of course for a night everyone should be able to choose, but imagine choosing every night for a fortnight!!

Sometimes, I just cook different things because I want something different to what DH and DD want. They're both properly carnivorous and I don't always want meat, so I'll do two meals.

I don't want to miss out on what I want just cos DH doesn't like vegetables 🤣