To be so disappointed with best friend

[myrecordplayersfecked]

Who is also my first cousin in a close family dynamic .
Long complicated story cut short, we and several other family members own a home by the sea in the south of England.
we vacation together every year , our kids bond well and we always have fun. We combine our weeks holidays and share our home with each other and each others kids.

this year there is confusion with dates and my cousin is furious as she has booked leave. This was entirely an oversight on her behalf. She basically got her dates for the beach house wrong.
she has now said that she is not going to the beach house at all as she is so unhappy with the dates and mix up. Even though she could vacation there for the new dates, easily.
This year the dates were unlucky for her in that she will not get to be there for a significant family event but could make alternate arrangements. Its the way the weeks have fallen and not in her favour.

I understand her frustration but am
deeply disappointed as we always holiday together and our kids play together plus I am a divorcee with one child so it’s always been lovely to be surrounded by family and develop those bonds.
I am hurt and disappointed and my initial reaction has also been how selfish she is being while acknowledging that she owes me nothing.
I feel that if she doesn’t go and we don’t vacation together that that may signal the end of the vacation relationship which I would miss very much as would our kids.
I feel let down. AIBU.

I was wondering if bf's dd wasn't quite so keen as being used as entertainment as OP thinks she is.

You are so close you holiday together each year yet one year off and it’s the end of the relationship ? Bizarre ?

she messed up the dates yet she’s annoyed with you - makes no sense? Did you give her wrong info ?

why is she throwing such a hissy fit and saying she won’t go ? Why can’t she pull a sicky and be at the big family event

can you all change your dates and go on her dates ?

are you American?

I'm trying to make sense of this honestly ..
but to counter the general vibe of the replies, I can see that if I had planned a holiday with a friend, and then it turned out they had booked the wrong dates so we wouldn't actually be holidaying together - ie they scuppered our agreed plans, by accident - and then, they refused to rebook to our agreed dates, I'd be upset.

I'm going to Greece with a friend soon and if it turned out she had accidentally booked for the week before, but was refusing to reschedule her booking, leaving me with the prospect of a solo holiday instead of a holiday with her, I'd be annoyed. But if she practically couldn't make that change... I wouldn't be angry with her. The fact is that sometimes people just make mistakes and it isn't always easy to change dates if you have booked leave etc. And situations can be annoying without it really making sense to be annoyed AT anyone. It's just misfortune.

So she's going to miss the 4th of July family get together? Is it a time share who else will be in the house on her preferred dates? Why can't she stay there too on her preferred dates? Do you all normally bunk into the same house?

None of the problem makes sense?

Who decided the dates?

How were the communicated to relative?
Don't get the whole things about unlucky dates?

This is confusing. Why can’t she go on the 1st July? Is it because other people are using the house or because she can’t get leave from work or some other reason?

When are you there?

Why can’t you change to the 8th July if that’s when she’s free?

How long is the OP actually planning on staying?

Just a week and be gone by the time the new dates start?

I am guessing another child is not an option, as that would be more work and that seems to be the issue here

Maybe it's just me, but I'm still massively confused by it all.🤷🏻‍♀️

but why can't your daughter take a friend?

If you're coming from the US it seems like a bigger holiday and I would be disappointed too if my friend couldnt make it

Can you change your dates to match with hers?

Can you change your dates then?

Why would you daughter be bored silly? Presumably kids go on holiday without friends all the time? Seems like you could both do with learning a little resilience and emotional stoicism.

Am I understanding this:

Your family own the house.
You arranged to stay there for a week.
Your cousin also arranged to stay there for a week.
Due to a mix up, they are not the same weeks.
Your cousin could change her dates to match yours, but doesn’t want to, and would rather not go at all, because the dates no longer align with an event (birthday?) that she was hoping to celebrate while on holiday.

Is that it?

What’s stopping you changing your dates to her dates?

Are other family also staying or is it just your family and cousins family?

You both sound quite dramatic tbh but I have no idea why one year of change means the end of the friendship completely, actually you can't be that good of friends if this is the situation.

And because your daughter will miss her kid and have no one to play with this summer you have concluded that your vacation is now over forever?

Just say "oh gosh it's such a shame, let's organise dates for next year and get it in the diary now" - that way it won't be the end.
If its just you and dd and there's normally space for another family/adult and child, invite friends? Or other family? Or just go and enjoy bonding time and organise lots to do - there's the beach, swim with her, go get ice cream together, plan days put, take board games and dvds you love etc.
It'll just be a different holiday to what you had planned but still sounds lovely

4th of July?

I don't get why it's such a big deal. She made a mistake. Shit happens. So your daughter's built in playmate isn't there and she's bored.

You're really, really overreacting.

Why not take a friend for your daughter if you are concerned she needs a playmate on holiday?